Gourrigan's Gilligan's Island by Silver Fox

Ok. I came up with the hokey title, but the story is hers. Thanks, Foxy-fox for doing up an episode for me, since I'm still not feeling hilarious. Such a nice mammal! Visit her webpage of mostly Inu Yasha things: Silver Fox's Den.

Gourigan’s Island was not happy today.. Not happy at all. They’d been put on reruns last week and it seemed like they’d be on reruns again this week.

"I don’t wanna have to fight that stupid bishonen again Lina!" Gourry whined, as he played cards with Zangulus.

"Well, I don’t want to go through that star trek crap again either!" Lina said crossly, folding her arms. It was a beautiful day and everyone was bored out of their minds. The beach had lost it’s appeal since everyone was tanned to the limit of sunburn, the Funky Fruit was gone, and- Oh fer crying out loud! Today was the most boring day they’d had since landing here... You get the picture don’t you? Though it seemed that Martina was busily admiring her lover’s body as he beat the crap out of Gourry at poker. Of course, they were using coconuts for money... By this time, everyone was wishing something would happen... Then something did..

"Hey! Is that a man over there on the beach?!" Ameila gasped, pointing to a man lying face down in the sand.

"Looks that way. Lina said boredly, still unaware of what she said.

"HOLY----" Lina jumped up and rushed over to the man’s side as well as anyone else who was bored.

"He looks ok.." Naga poked the chubby man’s side. Then she made a face at his clothing.

"Oh ugh! This is SO out of date! Polyester?" She tugged at the white-haired man’s blue shirt, and then ripped off his Captain’s hat.

"Gods this looks like it’s from the seventies or something." Firia snickered.

"Unnnggghhh" The man raised up his head and stared at the others. His vision was slightly blurry from all that seawater so he couldn’t see much.

"Wh-Where am I?" He mumbled softly and forced himself up.

"Why you’re on Gourrigan’s island of course." Xelloss rolled his eyes as though THAT were obvious. The man rubbed his eyes and looked around.

"Oh- oh no.." He whispered.

"NOT AGAIN!!!!!! NO GOD NO!!!!!" He screamed tugging his hair.

"Huh?!" Everyone backed away slightly, including Xelloss.

"I cannot believe I actually landed on the SAME island as I did all those years ago!" He began to cry and broke down on the beach, making everyone carry him back to the huts so they could clean him up and feed him.

As they left no one saw the flash of red dart through the bushes.

"So, your name is Jonas Grumby eh?" Xelloss asked as Ameila brought some coconut milk for Jonas.

"Yes... " He whispered softly, staring at the weird people, noticing how weird their hair was and how large their eyes were.

"What a weird name." Xelloss mused.

"Well, Xelloss is not exactly a familiar name either." Jonas shot back.

"Stop that you two. I’m thinking." Lina growled and turned back to her checkers game with Naga.

"Well, I suppose my predicament could be worse. Gilligan could be here..." Jonas sighed. (Did you know that JONAS GRUMBY was the name for the Skipper on the TV series? Not his real name, but his CHARACTER’S real name. Jonas Grumby aka Skipper. Cool huh? Thanks to my dad for giving me that bit of info! Note #2: The actor who played the Skipper on Gilligan's Island was the son of the guy who played Little John in the Errol Flynn movie Robin Hood, which I spoofed into a lemon crossover. -QOS)

"Gilligan?" Gourry blinked.

"Nevermind." Jonas grumbled.

"Hey Lina?" Zelgadis asked softly.

"What?" She snapped glaring at the checker board.

"Um, I hate to ask this, but why are those head hunters circling this cabin?" He glanced nervously at the people surrounding the cabin.

"H-Head hunters?!" Jonas jumped up nervously.

"Oh shit! Everyone run for it!" He shouted.

"Why should we?" Lina said boredly.

"Cause they’ll chop off your head and shrink it down to the size of a penny!! I think that was sort of obvious don’t you think?!" Jonas all but screamed.

".........." Lina got up to her feet slowly.

"Let’s have a look-see at these so called HEAD HUNTERS." She said lowly and stalked out the cabin’s door.

*Hyung* *thok* *thok* } fx sound effects used in mangas.

"Aiiiiiyyyyyeeeeee!" Lina rushed back into the cabin, a flight of arrows following her.

"They’ve got weapons!" She dove behind an overturned table and pulled Ameila with her.

"Oh Miss Lina! Just use your magic to make it stop!" Ameila screamed as two arrows poked through the table. Screams erupted through the cabin as the gang dodged arrows.

"This is insane!!!" Zelgadis growled and dove out the door. "DILL BRANDO!" He shouted and blew up the head hunters. "There." He dusted off his hands and smirked.

"Are they gone?" Lina asked peering from behind Gourry as they came outside.

"Yup." Zel sighed and pointed to the people that lay unconscious on the ground. Most of the masks and costumes were gone revealing-

"Professor! Mary Ann! Mr. Howell! Mrs. Howell! Ginger! GILLIGAN?!" Jonas fainted.

"Don’t look at me! They were asking for it!" Zel backed away as the others glared at him.

"Nevermind that now. Let’s get them fixed up. Ameila, we’ll need you’re healing powers. You too Firia." Lina began bossing then, and everyone did as they were told.

Soon the former cast of Gilligan’s Island was having a tearful reunion...

"I can’t believe we’re here again!!!" Ginger wailed mournfully.

"Oh how much worse can this get?!" Professor cried.

"All our money is gone!" The Howells screeched.

"I won’t be able to make my movie debuted!" Ginger sniffled.

"Aw, c’mon guys, at least we’re alive and together." Gilligan helped.

"OH SHUT UP!" Everyone snarled.

"Sorry." Gilligan said quietly.

"Don’t get mad at him. He’s just trying to cheer you up." Gourry stuck up for poor Gilligan.

"SHUT UP GOURRY!" All the Slayers growled.

"Sorry." He shut his mouth and slumped in his chair.

Lina narrowed her eyes at the cast, and pointed a finger at them. "What in gods name possessed you people to attack us anyway?" She snarled.

"We thought you captured the Skipper.." Mary Ann explained.

"So I came up with the idea of dressing as savages to scare you off." The Professor finished smoothly.

"Okkkkaaaayyyy...." Lina stared at the ceiling with a ‘why-me’ look.

Silence fell over the group....

"This is just great." Jonas grumbled.

"I’ll say. How did you people put up with this place? Haven’t you tried to escape?" The professor asked.

"Put up with it? It’s been quite fun since we got here. I like it better then what we usually do." Ameila smiled and sighed dreamily.

"Lina you sure we don’t have anymore funky fruit?" Ameila asked.

"I’m sure! They haven’t grown back!" Lina said sounding quite agitated.

"What is Queen writing about anyway? First, the Gilligan’s Island cast show up, dressed as head hunters and now we’re discussing Funky Fruit. This is not like Queen’s writing at all. We aren’t even doing this show in script form as usual!" Lina mused, rubbing her chin.

"Yeah I noticed that too." Zelgadis blinked. Everyone glanced at each other suspiciously.

"Maybe Queen isn’t writing this story. Perhaps someone else is." Gourry looked like he was in deep thought.

"Well duh." Silver Fox giggled as she strolled casually into the hut, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and a pair of white shorts. The shirt was opened, revealing her white bikini top (...mutter-mutter...sure, sure rub in your youth and nice figure...sure...-QOS), and she wore a flower necklace about her slender neck. "Hi there!" She waved foxishly, letting her sharp canines protrude through her lips as she smiled. Her golden lupine eyes, furry fox ears, and bushy tail was a dead giveaway that she wasn’t exactly human.

"Who the heck are you?" Lina asked in surprise. In response all the anime males in the hut rushed over to Silver Fox.

"Silver Fox! How have you been?" Xelloss took Silver Fox’s paws and led her over to a chair. As she sat down in it the males went to tending her needs.

Gourry and Zangulus manicured her nails, Zelgadis and Rezo massaged her dainty feet, and Xelloss set to brushing her long silver tresses. (Don’t you just envy me?)(YES! YES! -QOS)

"So did Queen decide to put you in as one of the cast too?" Gourry asked, while all the girls sat agape.

"Not exactly. See I’m writing this fanfic." Silver Fox pulled a hand upwards and fingered her necklace of tropical flowers.

"You are? That’s great!" Zel exclaimed and rubbed the arch of her foot.

"It was nothing. So you guys having fun so far?" The sly vixen giggled as she saw how green Lina and the others were becoming.

"Yeah it’s been a barrel of laughs." Lina growled, readying herself for a fireball.

"Yeah, especially where the savages came in." Gourry agreed, making Lina pound him.

"YOU STUPID JERK! I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!" Lina screeched pulling Gourry’s leg while sitting on him.

"OWOWOWOWOW! LINA! UNCLE! UNCLE!" Gourry yelped.

"And people wonder why my den is so full." Silver Fox sighed. (Yes, Silver Fox’s den is a haven for battered anime guys..)

All the men nodded sagely.

"Speaking of which, S-sama, when can I get reservations?" Rezo asked politely.

"Anytime you’d like to come. Walk ins are welcome." Silver Fox smiled.

"Do you still have that spa, with the massages?" Zelgadis inquired.

"Yeah! I really loved the workout center." Zangulus nodded eagerly.

"Boys! Boys! The den is still the same, and you can come anytime you’d like. Right now though, you’ve got a fanfic to finish. I just thought I’d drop in and shed some light on what is going on." Silver Fox held up her hands sheepishly and giggled.

"Oh..." They all slumped.

"Wait a second... This girl... Has a spa?!" With hot springs?!" Naga got excited.

"Sure." Silver Fox smiled.

"Ooooohhh!!! Can I come?" Naga bounced over to the vixen and got big bright eyes. "I just LOVE hotsprings.. What type of water do you use?" Naga asked clasping Silver Fox’s hands together.

"Sore wa himitsu desu..." Silver Fox purred, taking her hands away.

"Wha-?" All the Slayers, save Xellos, gave Silver Fox puzzled looks.

"Hey, he visits my den every week." Silver Fox shrugged.

"Besides, my den is for MALES only. The only girl allowed in there, is me, and Ranma Saotome. (In girl form of course.)" Silver Fox added, pointing a finger at Naga’s nose. (Oh, sure, sure...I post her story and she won't let me into her Den of Bishounen Iniquity...-QOS)

Xellos giggled and began braiding Silver Fox’s hair.

"Wouldn’t Zellas just love you..." He smiled opening his eyes.

Silver Fox sighed and glanced at the others. Gilligan and his friends were sitting, stupefied, at the sight of her.

"Um.. I hate to ask this, but is that real?" Gilligan pointed to her tail.

"Course." She gave her a tail a small flip, and curled it into her lap. "Since you guys have been such good sports about this fanfic and all, I guess I should do you all a favor." The vixen stroked her tail with long delicate fingers, her golden eyes aglow.

"A favor? How about getting us off this island?!" Skipper pleaded, falling on his knees before her.

"Sorry." Silver Fox sniffed.

"But-"

"I’ve got other plans for you." Silver Fox giggled again, and closed her eyes. After muttering a soft spell, a burlap bag appeared in her hands. Opening it, what should spill out but....

"FUNKY FRUIT!" The Slayers cheered.

"Yup. Got it fresh off the vine at the Isle of Bishounen." Silver Fox winked and passed the fruit around. "Try some." Ameila cut up one fruit and popped small pieces into Gilligan’s Island’s Cast. (Contributing to the deliquency of fictitious characters?! That's my gig! -QOS)

"I feel funny!" Professor giggled.

"Me too." Ginger purred as she put her arms about his neck.

"Layla! Llllaaaaayyyllllaaa! ya’ got me on my knees!" Gilligan sniggered as he and Skipper did the Tango.

"Woo hoohoohoohoo!" Mary Ann swayed from side to side, looking like a country bumpkin who’d had too much moonshine.

"We’re nekked and we just don’ care!" The Howells began stripping and tossed their undergarments onto Silver Fox’s head.

The vixen blushed a strange blue, before holding up a glowing paw. "Oh YUCK! That was a mistake!" She cried out before zapping the cast back to their normal lives.

"I’ll say." Lina plucked Mrs. Howell’s bra off the floor and grimaced.

"It’s an underwire!" Rezo snickered, having already eaten some of his fruit. (Oh?! And what's wrong with underwire bras, exactly, Mr. Red Priest Guy?! You're just used to underendowed little girls like Lina Inverse! -QOS FIREBALL! That's gonna leave a mark! Ow! *wimper*)

"Heheheheh.. You could wire this whole island with that thing!" Zangulus giggled, twirling about on one toe.

"C’mon Bunny luv, let’s get funky!" Martina glomped Zangulus’s, and the two proceeded to dance the bunny hop. Rezo and Xellos joined in, while Lina, Ameila, Firia, and Naga, began doing the can- can.. "So Zel, you ready to head back to my den?" Silver Fox asked the still somber chimera.

"Yup. You sure it would be ok to leave them here?" He asked putting an arm around the vixen.

"Sure." She scooped up the last two funky fruits and handed one to Zel. "I mean, what could they possibly do?" Silver Fox giggled as she teleported herself and Zel back to her den.

As they disappeared, Lina fell over and bonked her head. "Ow! Naga that hurt!"

"Who-hohohohoho! Watch what you’re doing next time you flat-chested little girl!" Naga threw her hands up in the air as Xellos began can-canning with her.

"Flat-chested?!" Lina narrowed her eyes. "That does it! DRAGON SLAVE!!!!!!!!!!" *F-wwwwwwooooooooommmmmm* fx sound effect.

Silver Fox and Zel bolt upright in Silver Fox’s bedchambers, eyes wide. "Did you hear something?" Zel asked blinking.

"I don’t think so.." Silver Fox shrugged.

"Oh." He smiled and put an arm around her again. "Great idea, mixing Funky Fruit with that Spanish Fly." (Now why didn't I think of that... -QOS) He laughed and took her under the sheets once more...

Silver Fox’s notes: Um, I know this isn’t as funny as it usually is but I tried. Goofy stuff just isn’t my best subject. Oh well...