Dathon's Island
This one comes from me bud David, a.k.a. Dathon, from my Print Production class, whose only knowlege of Slayers
comes from my fanfiction. I have no knowlege of Starcraft, so we're even. Neener-neener!

Another day on the island arrives, and today the shipwreck victims take stock of another day stuck on the island with each other. Naturally they’d rather stay in bed (especially Lina and Gourrigan) so the sun has risen quite a ways in the sky. By noon everyone is sitting around, bored to tears.

Gourrigan: I’m bored to tears.
Rezo slaps his arm with a newspaper.
Rezo: You idiot, the intro already said that. Stop wasting dialogue.

Gourrigan mumbles an apology and glares at Rezo.

Lina: Hey, lay off him. We’re all bored.
Amelia: So what is the Queen’s excuse this time? Work again?
Zelgadis: Who knows? She hasn’t written an episode in such a long while, I’m beginning to wonder.
Rezo (with a nasty twinkle in his eyes): Where’s Xellos? Don’t you find it interesting that he’s not around?

Everyone shudders.

Lina: I don’t want to know.
Rezo: Maybe he’s back on his "irie rasta mon" kick. The only good thing that came out of that was the good brew he got.
Lina: Maybe that’s what we need—a party or something.
Rezo: Well, who wants to go find him?

All eyes go to Zelgadis. Zelgadis stares back at Rezo with a grimace.

Zelgadis: Not me! I was the one who found the rasta monster in the first place.
Amelia: I can’t! I’m underage, remember?
Zelgadis: That didn’t stop you from trying Funky Fruit.
Amelia: Well...that was, umm...different...somehow.
Gourrigan: Fine! I’ll go get him. But if he’s doing something really weird—for Xellos at least—I’m leaving him alone!

Tromping off to the beach, Gourrigan sets off on his hunt.

Amelia: So where is the Queen anyway? I mean, if she’s not...and Xellos isn’t...
Lina (quickly changing the subject): Maybe she is finally writing this episode, and...

Ask a question, and you’ll get an answer. Lina’s sentence is broken short as the entire island is blanketed under a shadow. Everyone’s eyes lift upwards, expecting more lost Mecha or something.

Instead, over their heads is an enormous spaceship of some kind. It is a stubby thing, and it seems to be all wing with two long, sloping sections sweeping off towards the rear of the ship. Slowly it hovers across the island until perspective does it’s magic and suddenly it’s not so huge. Big, but not enormous.

Zelgadis: It’s slow!
Lina: And large!
Rezo: And a dork!

Everyone looks at Rezo.

Rezo: Sorry—I don’t know where that came from.

All of the sudden, small blue tendrils of energy form only a few feet from the group. The ribbons of energy twist and dance as if being sculpted, and begin to take humanoid shape. Within seconds three aliens coalesced.

Zelgadis: I knew it. This whole X-Files thing has gotten out of hand and the Queen wrote us some crazy alien abduction story.
First Alien: Nope! The Queen still is a pretty busy lady so she’s not writing this episode.
Zelgadis: Aren’t you supposed to be asking us to take you to our leader?
First Alien: And who would that be—Lina?

Lina gets an arrogant smile on her face for about two seconds and then realizes she has no idea what or who the hell she is talking to.

First Alien: I am Dathon, Executor of the Protoss Fleet. The Queen isn’t able to write any stories yet and I volunteered. So I left battle.net for the night and started in on it.
Deep-Voiced Announcer Guy: Battle.net is a service of Blizzard Entertainment and a registered trademark.
Dathon: I hate lawyers.
Rezo: So who are your friends? They look like they could use some brewskis, too.
Dathon (motioning back): Oh, just my guards. Zealots.
Zelgadis: Xellos?!?
Dathon (rolling his eyes): No, granite boy. Zeal-ots. As in those who are zealous. Possessing zeal.
Zelgadis: Zeal, huh?
First Zealot (brandishing two glowing blades attached to his arms): Grrrrrrrr.
Dathon: See? Zeal.

Just then, Xellos and Gourrigan appear in the village. Xellos is holding a bucket of empty bottles and Gourrigan is following close behind. Neither looks entirely...well...sober. Because of this, Xellos doesn’t look to shocked to see three gray, gangly aliens in armor visiting with their friends. Gourrigan has a slightly different response.

Gourrigan: Invaders! Aliens! I’ll protect you, Lina!!!

He stumbles drunkenly towards Dathon and the Zealots, trying to draw his sword. The Zealots energize their psi-blades, but Dathon merely gestures with his three-fingered hand.

Xellos: Gaagggghhhh!!!!

Lina and the others watch as a small patch of crackling lightning appears around Gourrigan and Xellos. Xellos doubles over in horrible pain, screaming wildly and cursing even more wildly. Gourrigan stumbles right through the maelstrom and almost reaches Dathon before the ship above encases Gourrigan in an energy field.

Dathon (looking dumbfounded): Why wasn’t he affected by the Psi-Storm? Xellos was...
Rezo (looking interested): Hmmm, I don’t know that spell. What’s this Psi-Storm?
Dathon: Psionic Storm takes the mental energy generated by the target and uses it against....duh! Gourrigan wouldn’t be affected by that!
Lina (nods): You couldn’t make toast with Gourrigan’s "mental energy"!
Zelgadis: So, what makes you think you can write an anime fanfic?
Dathon: Nothing does, but the Queen is going to loan me some Slayers tapes at some point. And you don’t know anything about Starcraft either, so we’re even.
Deep-Voiced Announcer Guy: Starcraft is a registered tradmark of Blizzard Entertainment, Inc.
Dathon: It’s those damn lawyers.
Rezo: So what’s this spell?

He points at the now frozen Gourrigan.
Dathon: Oh, that’s just a stasis field. I’ll turn it off when he’s sober.
Rezo: What about Xellos?
Zelgadis: How about we do it again?
Dathon: He’ll be fine. The bigger the head, the more the pain, the more time to sleep it off.
Amelia: Well, we should do it to both of them. All the beer is gone.
Zelgadis: I thought your were underage.
Amelia (blushing): Well it’s good it’s gone then, ummm...isn’t it...
Dathon: Oh stop bickering. I raided a Terran outpost and we stole a few cases of some Bud. It’s not half as good as Protoss lager, so no one on my ship wants it. You can have it.
Deep-Voiced Annoncer Guy: Budweiser is a trademark of....aaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!
Dathon: Psi-Storm. 75 energy points. So useful.

Three cases of beer materialize between them.

Dathon: One condition on the beer. I’m playing an island-hop game, and I need your island for a small base.

Just then a small floating robot scuttles by and starts warping in photon cannons and pylon crystals to power them.

Dathon: Just don’t fool with those. They’re expensive.
Amelia: Must be great for prowlers...