Our episode begins with Gourrigan, Zelgadis, and Slyphiel playing cards on a table made of woven palm fronds. Amelia and Lina are chatting with Martina and Naga as they sip coconut drinks, and Zangulus is busying himself with practicing his swordsmanship for his next bout of humiliation with Gourrigan. The two pranksters of the group, Xellos and Rezo, are of course not anywhere in sight.

Zelgadis: Raise you ten.
Gourrigan: Damn I hate playing cards with you Zel. Talk about stone-faced.
Zelgadis (peering over his massive pile of chips): That's a joke, right?
Slyphiel: Ummm, I think I will raise...umm...is four kings okay?

Zelgadis and Gourrigan groan and toss their cards down.

Slyphiel: Gourry, I mean, Gourrigan dear, is that good?

The other girls throw an amused glance at the game and return to chatting about "girl stuff".

Lina: Girl stuff? What is that supposed to mean?!?
Dathon: I don't know, I'm not a girl--I don't know what girls talk about.
Lina: WELL for your information, we...

Lina's hormonal retort is cut of by a massive explosion on the side of the island. Even Dathon is thrown to his feet as Slyphiel hastily throws up a protective shield.

Dathon: Thank you Slyphiel. NOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY ISLAND?
Lina: Your island?
Dathon: Is it that time of the month, Lina?

Lina's face darkens and a fireball spell begins to form in her hands until she remembers two things: It is her time of the month, and it's probably not good to fireball the writer.

Amelia: So what happened?
Zelgadis: Why not ask them?

Zel is pointing to to very sooty looking figures stumbling towards them.

Xellos: I told you not to fool with those.
Rezo: Then that's why you pointed out where you thought a service hatch was.
Dathon: Were you fooling around with my photon cannons?
Rezo: Well, yes.
Dathon: I knew I should have taken those away. You couldn't resist, you two, could you?
Xellos: Well, I am the scientist on this show.
Dathon: And your excuse?

Rezo says nothing.

Dathon (surveying the damage): Well, you are gonna have to pay for that, you guys.
Rezo: How are we going to do that?
Xellos: Lina, can we maybe borrow, umm, how much do we need?

Dathon whispers an amount into the Mazuko's ear. Xellos promptly freaks out.

Zelgadis (obviously enjoying this): How much, grandfather?
Xellos: It's a secret.
Zelgadis: Did I ask you?
Rezo: Xel, how are we going to make that much money?
Dathon: I don't care. Have a bake sale.
Xellos: What about all that junk you brought with you Rezo?
Rezo: That was supposed to be a secret!
Xellos: I've already pulled the 'it's a secret' gag this episode.
Rezo: Damn. Ok, lets go to the Noonza and sort through all my stuff.
Lina: Want some help? (Lina's only motivation for this, of course, is free stuff for the taking.)
Amelia: Yes! In the name of Justice we must help Rezo make enough money to pay back his debt to Mr. Dathon and clear his name to further the betterment of his reputation! I swear that I, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, will...OWWW!
Rezo: Thank you, Zel.
Zelgadis: PLEASE don't mention it. I mean that.
Amelia: Oh Zel, I know you need to pretend that you don't love me, but you don't need to overdo it...
Zelgadis: Come on. The faster we get this over with the better.

Back in the wreck of the Noonza, Rezo is looking around with the others standing nearby.

Lina: This isn't more stuff from your library is it?
Rezo: Sure. I don't like leaving that stuff lying around so any lame brained hero with a Sword of Light can stumble onto it.
Lina: Hey there's an idea...Gourrigan, we can sell the Sword of Light and get the money for Rezo!
Gourrigan: Yeah, and...WAIT! I'm not giving Rezo the Sword of Light!
Lina: That's okay, you can give it to me.
Gourrigan: I'm no genius, but I'm not that stupid.
Lina: Well...
Rezo (triumphantly): Here it is.

Rezo pulls out an enormous steamer trunk with a padlock to match. He fiddles with it for a few minutes, even trying to jimmy it open with his staff.

Rezo: Damn, was it 32 left, 15 right...or 15 left, 32 right? Oh screw it. Gourrigan?
Gourrigan: LIGHT COME FORTH!!! (SLICE)
Zangulus: Oh this is horrible. The Sword of Light is nothing but a can opener now.
Gourrigan (pointing it at Zangulus' chin): Yes, think of it as a can opener so I can get some peace around here.
Rezo: Let's see what I have in here. Oh, here's my newsletters from the "Obnoxiously Powerful Spells" and "Ancient and Powerful Relic of the Month" Clubs.
Xellos: You belong to Obnoxiously Powerful Spells too?
Rezo: Hmm. (tosses out a tattered parchment) The Seven Sacred Spell Scrolls of Slaying...(tosses out rusty sword)...the Runeblade Serpentfang...(brings out ornate staff)...the Staff of Ulthamar...(out comes another scroll)...hmmm, "Wall of Spam" spell...(drops a tablet on the floor)...wow, my Legacy is in here...(tosses out silver cup)...the Stanley Cup...(brings out a silver cube)...I have no idea what that is... (eyes widen) ...oooh, the most hideous weapon of mass chaos ever devised...
Xellos: Huh? What is it?
Rezo (with reverence): A CD by John Tesh.

Everyone shudders and backs away.

Dathon: HEY! I like John Tesh.

Again, everyone shudders and backs away.

Dathon: Losers.
Xellos: Anything else we can sell?
Rezo: Well...(pulls out a tub of purple gel)....oh, I didn't run out of mousse...(digs around some more)... let's see, 40 kiloton nuclear warhead...overrated...(tosses it to one side)...ummm... (pulls out another ornate sword)...the Bless Blade--there's some nasty memories...(out comes a chain of keys)...the keys to each Circle of Hell...(tosses out a book)...oh Zel, you might find this interesting.

Zelgadis looks at the book. On the dusty cover he reads the title 'Transformation Spells for Fun and Profit'.

Rezo: Check out chapter four.

Zelgadis reads 'Chapter Four...Chimeras'. He sits down and begins to read just as the Red Priest snatches the book from his hands.

Rezo: On second thought I may keep that one... (he tosses it back in the trunk and pulls out an collapsible staff and a pair of black sunglasses)...hey, I'm blind, remember? Oh, look! (pulls out a miniature version of his staff) My baby rattle! (jingles the rings on it and a tear forms in his eye) I'm not selling that!
Lina: This is pathetic. Rezo is such a pack rat.
Rezo: You never know when you'll need something.

Rezo slings a sack of his choices over his shoulder.

Rezo: Ok, help me carry this stuff.

The group sets up a table full of things and Rezo hand-letters signs saying 'Garage Sale'.

Later that day...

Amelia: Well, Mr. Rezo, did you sell everything?
Rezo: Everything but that John Tesh CD.
Xellos (plunks down several gold coins): I'll take it!
Rezo: Are you sure you want that unleased on a defenseless world?
Xellos: Does a Mazuko love chaos?
Dathon: I'll take that, thank you! Now, where's my money?

Rezo hands Dathon a sack of gold.

Rezo: Damn, you're tougher than the Queen.
A Voice: Oh Re-zo!

The Queen walks by with his baby rattle.

QOS: Isn't it so cuuuuuute?

Rezo blushes furiously--red of course.