**Summary of Part I: Our friends got drunk. VERY drunk.  They can't remember at all what they did the night before, other than Zelgadis apparently took off his clothes, and Xellos...got married... But he can't remember to whom! Now, Lina, Amelia, Gourrigan and Xellos are searching for the missing Sylphiel, Naga and Zelgadis in the dense forests of the island. And suddenly, who should appear before Lina and Amelia, but Valgarv, the ultra-sexy Ancient Dragon/Mazoku hybrid hottie everybody loves (well, the writer does anyway...). As if that wasn't enough, the writer FeatherFall also popped in to make things even more confusing, and don't you just love when that happens (say YES...).**

Meanwhile, the boys' search party is being led on by muffled female voices that sometimes seem to be arguing hotly. After a while of this wild goose chase, Xellos suddenly grabs Gourrigan by his collar and drags him to the ground.

Gourrigan: "Wait! What the--"

Xellos, putting a finger to his lips: "Be quiet..."

Carefully, he parts the bushes before them and points to the opening. Gourrigan looks at Xellos with a puzzled expression for a second, then slowly creeps forward and peers through the hole.

His eyes as big as dinner plates, all he can do is utter a soft squeak. They have found Sylphiel and Naga, both are blissfully sitting in one of the few hot springs of the island. It might also be noted that both are buck naked. Gourrigan's left eye twitches a bit and he draws back to give Xellos some peeping space.

Gourrigan: "We were all worried about them and here they are, relaxing, oblivious to us and having a... philosophical discussion?"

Xellos, grinning, merely nods.

Indeed, Naga and Sylphiel are deep in discussion over whether Freudian theories still belong in today's world, considering the fact that society is a lot more open about sexuality and that all that noxious repression of feelings is a thing of the past.

Xellos: "They sure know how to play the airheads when people are watching, don't they, Gourrigan?"

No response. Turning around, Xellos realizes that Gourrigan has mysteriously vanished. Then he hears Gourrigan's voice coming from a few yards in front of him, on the OTHER side of the bushes.

Gourrigan: "No way, there is still repression, especially among males, see how Zangulus was a while ago. He cured his repressed feelings by bonking with Martina for 4 days straight."

Gourrigan has managed to strip off his clothes in surprisingly little time and is comfortably sitting in the spring with the two girls who, amazingly, didn't run off screaming or fireball him or anything. Quite the contrary, both are listening to him attentively, enraptured, Sylphiel clasping her hands and looking at Gourrigan with obvious admiration, while Naga is propping her chin on her hands, elbows on knees.

Xellos has one of those spectacularly big sweatdrops and decides to leave before that reality warp catches him. He teleports away to Lina's location just as he hears Gourrigan claim that the ego, the id and the superego should all live in peace and harmony...

On the eastern side of the island...

Lina and Amelia have finally recovered from the shock of seeing Valgarv standing there, with this week's author holding fast to his arm, and are chatting amiably as they continue looking for Zelgadis.

Valgarv: "No, really, Lina Inverse, I had nothing personal against you, but Phibrizo was dead already, so I just decided to blow up the person who'd *almost* managed to do Garv in."

Lina: "..."

Lina glances uneasily at FeatherFall, who still has a death grip on the Ryuuzoku's arm.

Lina, thinking to herself: "Looks like she got Martina's mind at the Wal-Mart as well..."

Amelia: "Miss FeatherFall, since you're the author, you must know where Mister Zelgadis is?"

FeatherFall: "Yup! I do."

Amelia & Lina: "Then where is he?"

FeatherFall: "Oh, you won't find him before Xellos catches up with us, that's for sure... But at least I can tell you whether you're getting warmer or colder, hehehe ^.^"

Lina, tense voice: "And are we getting warmer?"

FeatherFall: "As a matter of fact, yes you are."

Lina: "Good, that's one thing made clear."

Amelia: "Then, Miss FeatherFall, you also know the end of the episode, as well as who Mister Xellos married?"

FeatherFall: "True."

Lina: "Well, WHO did he get hitched to?"

FeatherFall starts grinning. Too late, the girls realize their mistake. They raise their hands frantically as FeatherFall's finger comes up. They open their mouths, but not quick enough...

FeatherFall: "It's a seeecret!"

Lina, tearing off her hair in rage: "AAAAACKCKCK!, I really ran into and begged for that one!! Rrrrrrgh! You'd think I'd have learned by now being around that Fruitcake so much..."

*shrill teleportation sound*

Xellos: "Ah, Lina, I finally found you!"

Lina: "There you are, find anything good? Say "it's a secret" once and I beat you senseless..."

 Xellos, appearing offended: "Now now, Lina, my mission was to look for our missing friends and I did indeed find them. There is no reason I should keep this information a secret..."

Lina: "Alright then, who did you see?"

Xellos: "I found Naga and Sylphiel relaxing in a hot spring -- by accident!" he adds hurriedly seeing Lina frown.

Lina:  "Alright, so which one of those two is the lucky gal?"

Xellos, snapping his fingers: "Darn, I forgot to check if they had a ring... Things got complicated pretty fast when Gourrigan turned into Freud..."

Lina: "Penis envy again?"

Xellos: "Something along those lines, I guess, I did NOT want Gourrigan to drag me into his session and use me as an example, so I left right away..."

Lina: "Oh well...you might as well stay with us...we're still looking for Zel, I don't suppose you saw him? No? Then we'll pick him up then go back to that hot spring, I bet Naga's the one..."

Valgarv: "The one what?"

Lina: "The one Xellos married yesterday while being drunk..."

Valgarv: "He...got married?" he looks slightly repulsed.

Xellos: "Why, if it isn't Valgarv, hullo! ^_^"

Valgarv: "You stay away from me..." he starts to back down.

Xellos: "Oi, you and that dragon maiden have a lot in common, you know that?"

Valgarv, eyes glowing: "What did you say?"

Xellos, bigsweating, hurriedly backing up: "Erg, nothing!"

Lina: "Are you quite done, kids?"

Valgarv: "He started it!"

FeatherFall raises a fabulously unimpressed eyebrow: "Oh, now THAT was really mature ^_^;"

Valgarv: "Aren't you supposed to be on MY side?"

FeatherFall: "Ooh, I do believe you're right!" *clings unto him again giggling*

Everybody does one mighty gigantic sweatdrop.

Amelia: "Ah, Miss FeatherFall, shouldn't we go back to looking for Mister Zelgadis?"

Valgarv: "Yeah, I can't wait to see who that freak over there married..."

Xellos: "Are you insinuating me and Zelgadis... And you're in no place to call me a freak, horny boy!"

Valgarv, stepping forward rolling up imaginary sleeves: "That's it you're a fried fruitcake!"

Lina: "That's MY line!"

FeatherFall, waving her hands: "Guys, guys, stop that, we have a story to finish and a conclusion to get to!"

Xellos: "And who might YOU be, my little feathered weirdo?"

FeatherFall does that nifty Eye Twitch (tm). When in a story, always better NOT to insult the writer... Lina and Amelia, like good little girls, know that and roast the fruitcake silly before FeatherFall has the time to find another Plot Twist to punish everyone with.

FeatherFall: "Hmph, too bad, I had something kinky in mind, but I can always reuse it later..."

Lina & Amelia, muttering: "And in another fanfic with other people, Goddess willing...."

FeatherFall, feigning not to hear a word, stomps forward, dragging the helpless (sort of) Valgarv in tow.

Valgarv, sticking out his tongue at Xellos: "Nyaaaaa~h! The writer got mad at you, neener neener!"

Lina and Amelia just sigh and grab Xellos by his smoking limbs, hurrying after the irate writer.

About an hour after, they have finally reached the beach on the other side of the island, but Zelgadis remains nowhere to be found and Amelia is starting to freak out.

Amelia: "What if he left for the Isle of Bishoujo? What if he's still naked on the Isle of Bishoujo?! Or maybe he got arrested for blatant nudity!! I don't know what's worse!"

Lina: "On a desert island?"

Amelia: "Well, it's not absolutely impossible, is it? I mean, we had those federal officers on the island before..."

FeatherFall: "Well, they weren't real, plus don't worry, I promise you this time we are alone on this island, no mecha, no crossovers, no funny-looking aliens, no one but you and a hung-over, naked Zelgadis" *grins*

Amelia seems to suddenly walk much faster...

FeatherFall: "Hmmm, say, that Funky Fruit alcohol sounds like a good idea in retrospective... *looks up at Valgarv in an unmistakable look*"

Valgarv: "There was a nice quiet bunch of trees just back there on the right..."

FeatherFall: "Hehehe, I like the way your mind works, Valgarv dear, I believe we shall remain here after this story is over...No need to participate in any other story, of course, I have a feeling we'll be rather busy anyway *snickers*"

Amelia turns red. Lina turns green. Xellos gets turned on.

Amelia: "Uhm, soooo what do we do now, we still have to find Mister Zelgadis! This island might not be big, but if Mister Xellos and Mister Gourrigan didn't find him either, the only place left to search is the north of the island and this means..."

Lina: "Martina and Zangulus doing..."

Xellos: "Say, isn't that Filia?"

All: "Huh?"

Indeed that giant golden-dragon-like shape sitting amidst the trees far on their right was unmistakably Filia's!

Lina: "Lucky! Maybe she saw Zelgadis while flying over the island!"

Amelia, running towards her: "Come on, let's ask her-- uh?"

She stopped dead in her tracks.

Lina, catching up to her: "What's wrong?"

The dragon was gently sobbing, huge tears, each the size of a tennis ball, splattering on the sand and forming large puddles of mud.

Lina: "Er, you don't think she's crying because Xellos married someone else, do you?"

Xellos: "No."

Valgarv: "No."

FeatherFall: "No."

Amelia: "Well, maybe... She DID look mortified when she learned that Mister Xellos really tied the knot..."

Lina: "I thought it was out of sheer disgust..."

Amelia: "Uhm, that too ^_^;;"

Xellos: "Only one way to find out..." *disappears before anyone can stop him and reappears next to the crying Ryuuzoku*

Xellos, gently patting her on her huge, golden back: "Now now, what's wrong Filia-chan?"

Filia: "Urg! Xe- Xellos! Nothing!" *she hurriedly wipes away some more tennis-ball tears with her chubby round fists.

Xellos: "You wouldn't be crying cause I married someone else, would you?"

Filia, sharply: "No."

Valgarv and FeatherFall, appearing next to him: "Told you so."

Lina and Amelia quickly follow on foot.

Amelia: "Miss Filia, please, we need your help, have you seen Zelgadis while flying over the island?"

Filia, dragon that she is, still blushes to that: "Yes, I have, you'll find him farther south, just follow the beach until you come to a trail and follow the trail. He is in a clearing next to a waterfall," she finishes coldly.

Amelia: "Ah! Wouldn't that be the clearing where I found the Funky Fruit at first?"

FeatherFall: "Ping-pong! Bull's eye princess! ^_^"

Lina: "Amelia, what have you done, you turned him into a Funky Fruit addict!"

FeatherFall and Xellos: "Nothing wrong with that ^_^"

Lina gives them a disgusted look and walks down the beach without waiting to see if anyone was following or not.

Amelia: "Uhh, thank you Miss Filia, Miss Lina wait up!" *runs*

Xellos: "Thanks a bunch, Filia-chan, I'll make sure to remember you on my bridal bed..."

Seeing Filia's large blue eyes well up with tears, FeatherFall gives Xellos a swift kick in the butt.

FeatherFall: "Believe me you will..."

Fast forward to the juicy bit...

The trail is winding and covered with branches, but they can hear the sound of the waterfall in the distance, guiding them towards the goal.

As excitement grows, Lina and Amelia have decided to take bets on who Xellos married.

Amelia: "Miss Sylphiel, no doubt about it."

Lina: "Naga for sure, she's twisted enough for his tastes..."

Amelia: "Yes, true, but Miss Sylphiel is, uhm, er..."

Amelia's heart sinks as she realizes that she'll most likely lose her bet...

Lina: "Look! The waterfall!"

Amelia & Xellos: "Finally!!"

Everyone rushes forward. Upon arriving at the clearing, all note with relief that Zelgadis is there, lounging in the cold pool, head laying back on the rock. A few bits of Funky Fruits are still lying scattered around his head and mouth, a damp cloth is spread on his forehead.

Amelia: "Mister Zelgadis!"

At the sudden sound of voices, Zelgadis does a fantastic 5-meter leap in the air, thus confirming FeatherFall's affirmation that he was still naked.

Amelia: "Eep!"

Lina: "Yowza!"

Xellos: "Ooer..."

FeatherFall: "Hmmm...."

Valgarv: "Bah, no big deal."

Zelgadis: "Wha-wha-wha-what the hell are you doing here?"

Lina: "We're looking for you, dope! Now hurry up and come on, we have to get back to the girls at the hot spring, see who Xellos married!"

Zelgadis: "Who Xellos married? What are you talking about?"

He looks at Xellos and sees the ring woven of coconut fibers on his finger, gets a slightly repulsed look and shudders. Then he suddenly notices that Xellos is staring at him in a most disgusted way. He looks down at his own hands...

Zelgadis and Xellos: "Oh no..."