Well, the secret is out. The Queen of Swords now knows what Firia and Michael the Red Priest were up to during their leave of absence. She has now merged with Karla and has gone off to "rectify" the problem. That is of course, if she can find the two in the crowd of Manga characters.

QoS/Karla: This is what I get for inviting so many people.

Lina is trying her best to keep an eye on the Queen’s movements.

Lina: She’s REAL close to finding them.

Xellos: I can’t believe Firia married Michael. What does he got that I don’t?

Lina: Good looks.

Rezo: A superb taste in clothes.

Gourrigan: A caring personality.

Zelgadis: And the fact that he’s not a certain Mazoku that nearly annihilated her race.

Xellos: OKAY! OKAY! I see your point. sigh Well, at least I still have the Queen.

All shudder. Then Lina returns to searching for the Queen.

Lina: Um, guys. I suggest you prepare yourselves.

Xellos: Why?

Lina: She found them.

Michael and Firia are standing near a palm tree, both with drinks in their hands. Firia is wearing the pink mid-driff again, but Michael is still in his robes.

Firia: Michael, why didn’t you change?

Michael: I did. It’s all underneath.

Firia: Can I see?

Michael: Not until the party is over.

Firia (blushing): Oh. Hey, isn’t that the Queen?

Michael looks over to see the what looks like an irate Queen walking toward them. He notices that she’s wearing Karla.

Michael: Well hello Karla. I see you found a more suitable body than Wood. Care to join us in a drink?

Karla decks Michael in the jaw, knocking him over.

Michael: What the hell was that for?

Karla: The Queen knows your dark secret, and she’s not pleased with it one bit. I’m here to "resolve the matter".

Michael: Oh shit.

Karla: You have two choices: Surrender and suffer the severe consequences, or refuse and die in a senseless attempt to save yourself.

Michael (grinning): I think I’ll take my chances with you Karla.

Karla: If this is what you wish, then so be it. FIREBALL!

She fires it point-blank at Michael, who takes the full brunt of it, sending him flying into Xellos.

Xellos: Why the %*^@! am I always the one who has something fall on him?

Lina and the others begin helping up Xellos, then Zelgadis looks over to Michael.

Zelgadis: Shit! Lina, Mike’s not breathing!

Firia recovers from her temporary shock and goes ballistic. She changes into her dragon form and hits Karla with her tail, sending her off deep into the jungle. She then rushes over to Michael.

Firia: Mike, speak to me!

Nothing.

Firia: Lina, do something!

Lina: Alright. Gourrigan, try to keep the party going, the last thing we need right now is mass hysteria. I’ll try and heal Mike. Rezo and Xellos, take point and keep an eye out for the Queen. Zelgadis, go find the others, we could use their help.

Gourrigan: Um, Lina?

Lina: WHAT!?

Gourrigan: How should I keep the party going?

Lina: I don't know! Streak for all I care!

Gourrigan: Okay.

Gourrigan takes off all his garments and runs through the crowd of people and succeeds in distracting everyone from the events that occurred. Lina rolls her eyes, and starts to perform a healing spell. To her surprise, it doesn’t take that long. Michael coughs up some blood, and starts to breathe again.

Firia: Thank L-Sama, you’re alive!

She kisses him, then slaps him across the face.

Firia: What the hell were you thinking, taking a fireball like that? You could’ve gotten yourself killed! Why didn’t you dodge it?

Michael (in a weak voice): Because if I did, others would be hurt.

Lina: That was brave, but pretty stupid. I am however, impressed at such little damage was inflicted on you from a spell that would roast normal people. How did you manage that?

Michael: That’s a trade secret of mine.

Xellos: Here she comes again!

Karla is indeed back, and she doesn’t waste time in continuing what she started. She lets out a flare arrow, which all dodge easily.

Michael: So she wants to play that way does she? (grinning again) I’m game.

Michael throws off his robes to reveal what’s underneath. He’s wearing a red body suit, complete with top-of-the-line Saiyan armor. The armor in the front of his chest is slightly burnt, and there are a few cracks where contact was made.

Michael: Aw shit, she messed it up. I spent three hours playing against Vegeta in DBZ Legends to get this armor. Ooo, she’ll pay for this.

Lina: Why the hell are you wearing that anyway?

Michael: You know the rules, Lina.

Lina: Oh yeah. I forgot. Nothing bad like this has happened since Dick Clark was here.

Michael: Right. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a sorceress to combat.

Michael levitates himself up into the air, and stands poised for combat. Zelgadis comes back with the rest of the group.

Lina: He doesn’t have a chance against her. We’ve got to help.

Xellos: Speak for yourself Lina. I refuse to help you hurt the Queen.

Lina: What about the rest of you?

All but Xellos: We’re in.

Up in the sky, both wait for the other to strike. Karla has a powerful aura around her which continues to grow.

Karla: DIL BRANDO!

Michael dodges this time, but the brando hits the stage, blowing it to pieces.

Xellos: Oh my Gods, she killed Marley...again!

Everyone on the ground panics and start running toward the ocean or the jungle. Now the battle field is clear. Lina and the group hide behind an overturned buffet table.

Lina: Gourrigan, put some clothes on and get ready to strike on my mark.

Just then a flash of light illuminates the sky, and Michael runs by and grabs Firia by the arm.

Lina: Hey! Where are you going?

Michael: I’m running away from Karla, which is what I suggest you guys do too.

Lina: Huh?

She looks at the Queen, whose eyes are now glowing with an evil light, shooting a volley of fireballs in their direction.

Lina: RUN!!!

All start to run away from the Queen while the explosions go off all around them. About an hour later, all have regrouped at Martina and Zangulus’ hut, and begin to plan.

Gourrigan: Why are we hiding in here?

Lina: Because this is the last place she’d look, especially after I do this.

Lina pulls out a tape recorder. She pushes the play button, and the sounds of Martina and Zangulus in bed start playing. All shudder.

Zelgadis: That’s sick. Where did you find that?

Lina: In Xellos’ trunk. For once that plot hole has been put to good use, that is, if you really consider this “good”.

Amelia (trying to change the subject): So what do we plan to do?

Lina: What we normally do: You guys put up a good fight, you get your butts kicked, and I do the Giga Slave and make the world a safe place again.

Michael: We can’t Giga Slave her.

Lina: Why not?

Michael: If we kill Karla, we’ll kill the Queen as well. Besides, the Giga Slave is an overkill move in this case.

Lina: So, what can we do then?

Michael: Karla cannot function on her own. She needs a host. All we have to do is separate Karla from the Queen, and she’ll go look for a host back in Lodoss. The problem is getting close enough to her to remove the crown.

Zelgadis: Why don’t we use Michael’s barrier to get close enough and just pull it off?

Michael: Won’t work. I dropped my staff somewhere out at the party, and there’s no way I’m going out alone without backup.

Rezo: It may be best if we just attack her from different angles. One of us is bound to reach Karla.

Zelgadis: That’s suicide! I’m not going to get myself killed trying a stunt like that. Isn’t there anything else we can do?

Lina: Hmm....What if we combine the two plans together? You know, attack from different sides, but have barriers up still.

Michael: That’s good. But we still need a protective barrier.

Firia: Michael dear, are you dense or something? Have you forgotten that Sylphiel can project some of the best protection barriers around?

Michael: Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

Lina: Then it’s settled. We’ll have two groups. One will be the distraction. While Karla messes with that group, the other will come from behind and get Karla off the Queen. Alrighty then people, let’s move out.

The group leaves the hut, and heads back to where the party was. A couple of minutes later, all are hiding behind the table again.

Michael: I don’t see her.

Rezo: She could be anywhere. We need her to come out onto the field.

Lina: But how?

Michael: What we need is a person to lure her back here. The person must be a character that can provide comic relief, and doesn’t really matter to us if they get blasted. Any suggestions?

Zelgadis (grinning): I’ll give you two.

All look at Naga and Amelia. The two realize what is about to happen, and try to run, but are seized by the by group and thrown out in the open.

Amelia: Zelgadis my love, sniffle this is how you treat me?

Zelgadis: What can I say, I have a heart of stone.

Lina: That was a really lame pun.

Naga: OH HO HO! I’m Naga the White Serpent! I don’t have to do such things! I’m outta here!

Naga begins to walk away, but stops when Michael shoots a freeze arrow just short of her feet.

Michael: You will as long as I’m writing. Now you and Amelia start looking for Karla.

The two scouts run into the foliage to search for Karla. Minutes pass. All is quiet. Too quiet.

Gourrigan: It’s too quiet.

Michael looks up from his laptop.

Michael: I JUST SAID THAT YOU NITWIT!

Gourrigan: Gee, I’m sorry. But I get so nervous when it’s like this.

Michael: Oh good grief. Rezo, do me a favor and rattle your staff or something.

Rezo: Okay.

Rezo begins to rattle his staff, but the sound is covered by an ear-splitting explosion. All look up to see smoke rising from the jungle, followed by a couple of beams shooting out of the foliage. Soon they see the charred figures of Naga and Amelia running out of the bushes, followed by Karla, who is shooting what looks like “ki” blasts at them.

Michael: Here they come! Get ready!

Amelia: huff! I can’t believe this! pant I get only two lines in this bit, puff! and then I get blasted by--AHHH!!

Another explosion goes off, and we see Naga and Amelia blasted over the table.

Michael: Now!

The red priests, Sylphiel, and Zelgadis run toward the Queen. The priests and chimera provoke her by firing a couple of fireballs, and get the desired response. Karla retaliates by firing a brando, and Sylphiel brings up her protective barrier. That’s Lina’s cue. Her and Gourrigan hop on a transformed Firia’s back and fly toward the Queen from her blind side.

Lina: Hey! This is actually going to work!

Firia banks onto her side and starts on a path that will allow Lina to pull the crown off. Lina can only try this once. Soon she finds herself right in front of the Queen. She reaches out and--

Lina: SHIT! I missed.

Karla turns around and fires an Almekia lance at Firia, knocking her and her passengers out of the sky. Sylphiel drops the barrier in shock, and Karla uses this opportunity to let out another volley of fireballs, blasting the others to the floor. Michael gets up and drags an unconscious Sylphiel back behind the table, and Rezo and Zelgadis crawl back on their own. Once back behind the table, Zelgadis looks to Michael for suggestions. He screams

Zelgadis: AHH!!

Michael: What!

Zelgadis: Your eyes!

Michael: What about them?

Zelgadis: They’re not mismatched.

Michael looks at Rezo’s orb to see what Zel is talking about. Both of his eyes are brown now.

Michael: Shit. My contact fell out. That explains the blurred vision. And here I was thinking I had a concussion. DAMMIT! That was our only chance at doing it the easy way. We’ll have to use plan B.

Zelgadis: What’s plan B?

Michael: I have no clue, but I’m thinking of it as fast as I can. (winces in pain) Damn, I think I re-injured my ribs.

Michael feels his chest, and feels something pressing against his armor. He reaches into the armor and pulls the object out. His eyes flash a sign of hope. Their problems just might be solved.

Rezo: Is that the--

Michael: Yep. The remote trigger for the photon cannon.

Rezo: Well what are you waiting for man, use it!

Michael: Okay. I just hope the others can get out of the way.

Michael begins to repeatedly push the button, sending wave after wave of photon blasts. Meanwhile, Lina and a half-dazed Firia are trying to drag Gourrigan back to safety.

Lina: Damn, he’s heavier than I thought.

Firia: Oh no! Lina, she’s spotted us!

Karla begins to charge up a fireball, but a photon blast whizzes by and nearly hits her. She stops to see where it came from, giving the girls only matter of seconds to hide behind something. They decide to hide behind one of the knocked over speakers. They get behind it just as more photon blasts begin to litter the field.

Lina: He’s using the photon cannon? He’s crazy!

Firia: It’s probably the best he could do on such short notice.

Karla continues to dodge the photon blasts while trying to see where they’re coming from. She traces the path of one of the balls, aims, and fires a fireball in that direction. Seconds later, an explosion is heard, and smoke begins to rise in the distance.

Michael: Aw, man! She roasted the photon cannon! Well my friends, we’re screwed.

Xellos: Not yet.

Michael: Xellos!

The guys look up to see Xellos levitating over their heads, with two staffs in his hands.

Michael: My staff! You found it.

Xellos drops the staff into Michael’s hands, and joins the team behind the table.

Michael: I thought you weren’t gonna help us?

Xellos: I changed my mind when she killed my favorite Reggae artist. You should be able to walk over and take the crown now with no problem.

Michael: Hold on a sec, let me check and see how much power this thing still has.

Michael unscrews the orb from the top of the staff and pulls out a AA battery. He checks the charge.

Michael: Crap! There’s not enough power here for the barrier to take the abuse that Karla will give it. For any plan to still work, someone has to turn it on just before reaching her.

Xellos: What if we use Zelgadis’ demon speed? I’m sure he’ll get close enough.

Zelgadis: That’s a good idea, but there’s a problem.

Zelgadis points to his bloody ankle. Michael buries his face into his hands.

Michael: We’re not going to get out of this one. It’s all over. We-- huh?

Michael stops when he hears a sucking noise. He looks down at his orb and sees Chibi-Chibi Gourrigan trying to consume his orb again. Michael prepares to backhand him, but then gets an idea.

Michael: Zelgadis, how’s your throwing arm?

Zelgadis: Good. Why?

Michael: I need your golem strength to throw my staff, but not yet. looks over to Chibi-Chibi Gourrigan Come here little guy.

Michael picks up Chibi-Chibi Gourrigan and whispers in his ear. Chibi-Chibi Gourrigan nods in agreement, and hops onto the staff. Michael reattaches the orb and hands Zel the staff

Michael: Zelgadis, I want you to throw the staff at Karla.

Zelgadis: But what about the runt?

Michael: Don’t worry, he’s part of the plan. Now throw it!

Zelgadis gets up and throws the staff as hard as he can.

Zelgadis: Go little fella, be free!

The staff zooms at Karla like an X-11, but Karla senses its approach and launches a counterattack with a fireball. The fireball is about to reach it’s target, but Chibi-Chibi Gourrigan flips the switch to the barrier on, deflecting the fireball, and allowing the staff to continue its approach. Soon it becomes impossible for Karla to dodge it, and the staff smashes into Karla, knocking her and her host to the floor. Chibi-Chibi Gourrigan turns off the barrier and pulls off Karla while the Queen is still dazed. He then chucks Karla into the air, and she flies off.

Zelgadis: We did it!

Many cheers come from those who are still conscious. Then Martina and Zangulus come out of the jungle, both shriveled up like prunes.

Martina: Whose idea was it for us to make out in the hot springs?

Zangulus: Yours.

Martina: It was? (looks over at our cheering heroes) Hey guys! Did we miss anything?

The warriors simply roll their eyes in response.

We then cut scenes to the next day, where we find Michael and Firia in the waiting room of the Queen of Swords. Firia has her arm in a sling, and there’s a bruise on her face. Michael is holding crutches instead of his staff, as well as his cracked Saiyan armor. The door opens, and Naga and Amelia walk out of the office. Both look like Zolf did, wrapped in bandages from head to toe.

Michael: So King Tut, how did things go?

Naga: She gave us a month off with pay to heal. She’s not happy at all.

Michael: groan Great.

Secretary: Michael, the Queen will see you now.

Michael and Firia get up and enter the Office. We find the Queen taking some aspirin, and trying to massage the migraine she has. One side of her face is black and blue. Hmm, Michael thought, maybe I should’ve thrown the staff myself. The Queen looks up at them.

Queen of Swords: Sit.

Michael and Firia sit.

Queen of Swords: I don’t remember much about what happened last night, but from what I understand, I believe I owe you an apology.

Michael: Don’t worry about it. It’s not the first time someone tried to kill me.

Queen of Swords: I’m also sorry about the armor. But don’t worry about that. I talked to Vegeta this morning, and he said he can have it fixed in no time.

Michael: Really? That’s great! I’m glad I brought this with me then.

Michael puts the armor on the table. The Queen examines the damage to the armor, and whistles in disbelief.

Queen of Swords: Wow. I did this?

Michael: Yep. You were pretty pissed off.

Queen of Swords: And I haven’t forgotten why either.

Michael and Firia look at her as if she’s about to execute them.

Queen of Swords: I don’t approve of this marriage, but I cannot tell my cast members what to do either. But let me ask this: Firia, are you truly happy now that you’re married to him?

Firia looks at the Queen, and nods.

Firia: I’ve never been happier. Michael seems to have filled a gap in my life. We love each other’s company, and we never have anything to complain about. What’s not to like about it?

Queen of Swords: I see. Well, let be one of the first to congratulate you two. Now, about the ring--

Michael: I’m terribly sorry about that Queen, I never intended to--

Queen of Swords: It’s all right really. I’ve already found a way for you to make it up to me.

Michael: Really?

Queen of Swords: I’m taking the photon cannon.

Michael: You mean, it wasn’t destroyed?

Queen of Swords: No. As we speak, Dathon’s crew is repairing the damage.

Michael: Great. But what are you going to do with a photon cannon?

Queen of Swords: It’s a secret. Well you two lovebirds, I have to let you loose now. I have to start interviewing people to write next week’s fan fic.

Michael: Oh no! I completely forgot about mine!

Queen of Swords: Don’t worry. The stuff that happened to us the past few days is better than what you were writing. Let’s say that that was your fan fic.

Michael: Okay.

Michael and Firia leave the office and return to the island. There, they get a wonderful reception, seeing as to how they didn’t have one at the impromptu wedding.

Firia: Thanks for the wedding gifts guys.

Lina: You’re most certainly welcome.

Sylphiel: You know, I never thought you would get hitched Firia.

Firia: Well, neither did we. And we owe it all to Xellos.

Xellos: Me?

Michael: Sure. If you had not been so jealous, we would’ve never been stoned with funky fruit.

Xellos (tearing up): I’m touched. I feel bad now, seeing as to how I was the only person who didn’t get you a gift. (light bulb) I know! My trunk may have something I can give you guys.

Xellos runs to the hut to search his trunk. It’s quiet for a moment, then a flash of light illuminates the hut, and Xellos comes out, charred and smoldering.

Lina: What on earth happened?

Xellos: I don’t know really. I opened the trunk, and I got hit with what looked like a photon blast.

Michael and Firia look at each other and start laughing, and soon all but Xellos are laughing. Where did the mysterious blast come from? Well, it’s a secret.

^_^ End ^_^