The Queen of Swords is siting in her office, drumming her fingers on the table.

Queen of Swords: Where is Dathon? It's not like him to be this late!

Xellos pokes his head out the bathroom door. He is wearing...uhhh...ever mind.

Xellos: Are you just going to wait out there?

Queen of Swords: Get lost, Fruitcake! I told you I am waiting for Dathon to show up. He's doing the next fic.

Xellos: Well tell him to knock off with that Psi-Storm. It gives me a headache.

Queen of Swords: I'll give YOU a headache in a...what on earth are you wearing???

Xellos just wiggles his finger and is about to deliver his trademark line, when the Queen's Secretary interrupts. The Mazuko ducks back into the bathroom.

Secrectary: Incomming transmission from Executor Dathon. It's kinda fuzzy.

Queen of Swords: Dathon, where the hell have you been?

The videoscreen image cleans up a bit and a rather bedraggled Protoss appears.

Queen of Swords: Hey! What happened? Is that a bruise?

Dathon: Sorry I couldn't make our meeting. My convoy was attacked at Taraz IV. A whole *^%#@ Zerg Swarm was waiting there. This campaign is going to take a while, I'm afraid. And I'm not going to stop until every %$@#* bug is dead!

Queen of Swords: Well, who's going to do the next fic then?

Dathon ponders that a moment.

Dathon: Well, you could ask one of David's other game personnas.

Queen of Swords: Other ones?

Dathon: Sure. Let me see if I can get a hold of someone.

The screen fades to black.

Xellos: Are you done yet?

Queen of Swords: I'm not in the mood right now, Xellos.

Xellos: Oh, but I wore this just for you! Come one, you'll enjoy doing it.

Queen of Swords: Are you sure you brought some protection?

Xellos: Of course, my Queen. That's important for things like this.

Queen of Swords: Ok, Xellos, you win.

Xellos: giggle Let's get to it then!

Later on...

Lina: So what's up now? Why did the Queen call a meeting?

Xellos: I don't know. It's something important I guess. She wouldn't even tell me.

Zelgadis: That's good. You can't tell us it's a secret then.

Xellos: Oh...but it is!

Everyone groans, and the Queen arrives on the scene.

Queen of Swords: Hello everyone. Xellos, did you put everything away?

Xellos: Yes Queen, including the dropcloths protecting your faux marble floor. Thanks for letting me fix the plumbing in your bathroom.

Queen of Swords: Just don't wear that stupid handyman outfit again.

Xellos (pouting) : You didn't like it?

Gourrigan: Plumbing?

Queen of Swords: What did you expect? This is a family series! Now then, Dathon was going to write this episode, but he's been called away to go kill some more of those Zerg things.

Everyone groans.

Queen of Swords: What's with all this groaning? But...nice form on the "in unison" thing.

Amelia: So who's going to write this fic, Queenie?

Michael and Firia emerge from their hut.

Michael: Not me. I just wrote a whole bunch of them.

Firia: Yeah! We haven't even had time for our honeymoon.

They kiss in the way newlyweds do, and then Firia morphs into dragon form and flies off with Michael riding along.

Everyone groans.

Lina: Ok, ok. The groaning bit is the running gag, I get it. Can we move on now?

Queen of Swords: Dathon said he'd find someone else to do it. Another of David's game personalities.

Rezo: Another one? What, does David spend all his time playing games?

The Queen shrugs.

Queen of Swords: I don't know who is coming. But put on these nametags.

The Queen hands out those geeky "Hello My Name Is..." nametags.

Zelgadis: Hopefully we'll not have to explain everything all over again to this guy.

Queen of Swords: Oh not at all. I've been keeping David well stocked with anime.

Suddenly, a voice booms: LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

Everyone: Huh??

Amelia: At least we did something other than groan, Miss Lina.

A dock appears on the beach, and everyone scrambles on to it.

Rezo: Maybe we're saved at last!

Queen of Swords: No one is leaving this island! David knows the rules!

A boat appears on the horizon and steadily makes its way to the dock. It silently swings alongside. The only apparent passenger is a short elf calmly sitting by the mast.

Elf: Wow! That boat ride is longer that the trip through the Ocean of Tears!

He disembarks quickly, and the now-empty boat sails off and disappears on the horizon.

Elf: Greetings, I am Aleyann of Kelethin, son of Landric, Ranger of the 19th Circle of the Emerald Champions. I seek the lady known as the Queen checks a parchment of Swords.

Aleyann bows.

Queen of Swords: I am she. Welcome to my island.

Aleyann bows to the Queen, and then takes her hand and kisses it lightly.

Aleyann: This is how Humans greet each other, if I'm not mistaken. I greet you in the Name of the Mother of All, Queen of Swords.

Queen of Swords (blushing): Such a gentleman.

Martina: And so handsome! I just LOVE those ears! And he looks like he keeps fit! Oooh..that's sexy.

Xellos: Ok everyone, knock it off! It's just the new writer.

Zangulus (grumbling) : So it's an elf.

Aleyann consults his parchment again.

Aleyann: Ok, let's see. Two warriors. That would be a Gourrigan and a Zangulus.

Zangulus just glares at Aleyann.

Gourrigan: I'm him, I mean, he! Hey, is that chainmail you are wearing?

Aleyann: Banded chain, actually. Now. A few clerics. Rezo the Red Priest. Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun.

Amelia: Ooooh...he knows my full name! Yet another shining example of a holy warrior of Justice, no doubt! Yes...shining in his armor, sword at the ready, ever willing to destroy the forces of evil with what ever means he can use!!! FINALLY A WRITER WHO WILL UNDERSTAND ME!

Aleyann: Sounds more like a Paladin than a Cleric. And an assortment of Wizards and a Shaman. Zelgadis Greywers.

Zelgadis: I guess you could call me that.

Gourrigan: Yeah, and Lina is more like a Witch than a Wizard. You should see her fireball me when I talk about her boobs being so small.

Lina: You want a demonstration, dunce-boy??? FIREBALL!!!

Gourrigan is toasted a nice even brown.

Naga: OH HOO HOO HOO! What about me? Nothing about Naga the White Serpent? Lina's closest rival!

Aleyann: Hmmm....some Human woman with an oversized chest and a laugh that would make a Sand Giant cringe.

Naga: OH HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO that's me!

Aleyann covers his ears.

Aleyann: You'd better watch out lady, you'll get ignored.

Lina: Doubtful. You just don't "ignore" Naga.

Naga: OH HOO HOO HOO....

Aleyann: Hmph. Just use slash-ignore.

Keyboards appear in front of everyone but Naga. They try it.

Naga: .....

Lina: IT WORKED! PEACE AND QUIET!

Martina: Oooh you are so smart and handsome too! That is sooooo sexy!

Queen of Swords: I must admit I'm impressed. And though I hate to agree with a nutcase like Martina...

No one sees Xellos grab Zangulus and jump into a small pocket dimension.

Xellos: This sucks. He's flirting with all our women!

Zangulus: I thought the Queen wasn't your "woman".

Xellos (blushing): She's not! Ummm...what about Martina draping herself all over that elf?

Zangulus: Hmph.

Xellos gets an evil glint in his eye.

Xellos: I know just the way to deal with Aleyann. Then you'll get Martina back and I'll...well...let's just do it cause it's mean and evil!

Zangulus: Cool! Can I fight him?

Xellos: If he's anything like Gourrigan, you are dead meat. And he seems a bit smarter.

Zangulus watches as Xellos opens a gateway to another world. After getting the soap opera on accident, he tries again, giggling the whole time.

Xellos: Anyone who knows anything about anime knows who you call to deal with elves....

*** To be continued... ***