The Queen and the rest of the cast are having a little party with Aleyann so he can get to know everyone. However, she notices that Xellos and Zangulus are missing.

Queen of Swords: Hmmm...should I mention to the others that Xellos and Zangulus are gone? smirks Naw...this will be fun. Poor guys, they should know just how charismatic elves are.

Aleyann is definitely the center of attention. Everyone is listening to him talk about his home city in the trees, Kelethin.

Aleyann: I haven't been back in a while really. There's just so much in Tunaria to do, and there is a Ranger Guild in Qeynos if I need it. laughs I'm old enough.

Amelia: Old enough? Mr. Aleyann, just how old do elves get?

Aleyann: My grandfather lived to be 403 years old before he returned to the Mother.

Collective gasp.

Lina: Shit. I'm only 15! I can't even imagine what it's like to be 400 years old.

Amelia: Think of all you could do for the cause of Justice!

Zelgadis: How old are you, Aleyann?

Aleyann: Well...I'm into the season of...hmmm...which translated into Human years is....oh, around 70 or 80 I think. Pretty young. Equivalent to your age, I suppose, Lina.

Queen of Swords: Figures. All the guys I meet have to be older.

Gourrigan: How old is Xellos? He's gotta be ancient.

Queen of Swords: That's a secret.

Lina: I swear, Queen, you sound more like that Trickster every day.

Zelgadis: Oh shit.

Slyphiel: What's wrong, Zel?

Zelgadis: Speaking of President Mischief...he's not anywhere around. You know what that means...

Everyone listens intently for a big explosion or something. Nothing but the waves crashing onto the shore and the occasional seagull.

Martina: And where is Zangulus?

Funny question, Martina. Zangulus and Xellos are sitting in the Mazuko's pocket dimension, simmering for 20 minutes and getting ready to season to taste.

Zangulus: What the hell are you doing anyways, you creepy Mazuko?

Xellos: Oh shut up. I'm looking for some people that might be able to help us. Be patient.

Zangulus: Well, I'm not going to just sit here and let that stupid elf charm Martina away from me! I'm outta here!

Zangulus gets up, but then realizes he has no idea in hell how to leave.

Xellos: Fine...do what you want.

Zangulus suddenly shifts back into normal space. Upside down and floating above the group. Momentarily.

Zangulus: Ooof.

Martina: Zangulus baby!

Zangulus: Martina, I'm here to save you from the charms of the elf!

All: Huh??

Zangulus: I challenge you, Aleyann, to single combat! The prize, the lovely and enthusiastic Martina!

Martina: Oh, Zangulus, you're crazy. I'm not a set of tupperware you can auction off or something!

Zelgadis: So Aleyann, you're a fighter, right?

Aleyann: In a manner.

Zelgadis (smiling): Well...if you are any good at it , go for it. This could be fun.

Gourrigan: Yay! Zangulus doesn't want to fight ME for once!

Aleyann looks towards the Queen.

Queen of Swords: I'm curious too...

Aleyann: Very well, Zangulus, I accept your duel! Prepare to die!

Everyone's attention is drawn to the until-now unnoticed scabbard at Aleyann's side. It is fashioned out of a hard leather, and appears to have two separate sheaths with two swords. Aleyann draws both swords and holds one in each hand. They appear to be of exquiste craftsmanship, and a faint glow makes them look almost alive.

Zangulus: gulp Hey! That's not fair! You have two swords.

Aleyann: Just my trusty Combine Longswords.

Gourrigan: Combine? You mean you put them together?

Aleyann (rolling his eyes): Why does every newbie ask that? No...they are magical relics from an ancient civilization called the Combine Empire.

Gourrigan: Heh...come on, Zangulus. It's not like you don't have a magical sword, too!

Zangulus: Fine! Let's go!

Zangulus charges at Aleyann.

Zangulus: Have at thee....huh?

Aleyann begins to cast a spell...

Zangulus singes as the Burst of Fire hits them.

Zangulus: SPELLS!?!?!?!

Aleyann begins to cast a spell...

Zangulus is caught in a tangle of vines.

Aleyann charges and the two begin the swordplay.

Zangulus: grunt Ooof...you're good.

Aleyann: Not bad yourself.

Aleyann continues to slash at Zangulus with his twin swords. He dodges and parries in a whirl of motion.

Zangulus: Dammit! Stop moving so fast!

Aleyann begins to cast a spell....

Zangulus convulses as lightning courses through them.

Zangulus: DAMMIT!

A feint and a mighty swipe sends Zangulus' sword flying.

Aleyann begins to cast a spell...

Martina: NOOOOO!

Martina runs in between the two combatants.

Aleyann's spell is interrupted.

Martina: You dunce! Why are you acting like this?

Zangulus: You were falling all over him! I can't compete with an elf!

Martina: Oh, stop it. We're married remember? Til death do us part. And if you don't stop that's what's going to happen!

Aleyann: Is that why you're so mad? I'm not interested in Martina in any way!

Martina: What's that supposed to mean?!?!?!?!

Aleyann (blushing): Ummm...I mean...not interested because...umm...you two are mated already. I think.

Naga: OH HOO HOO HOO! "Mated" is the right word!

Aleyann: You want to get ignored again, Naga?

Naga: Hmph.

Aleyann walks over and picks up Zangulus' blade, then offfers it to him hilt first.

Aleyann: You're pretty good, you know that?

Slyphiel: That was amazing, Aleyann! You can fight and cast spells just like Lina.

Aleyann: Well...I'm not as good a fighter as a true warrior, and my spells are only a shadow of the Druid's real power. Rangers are a hybrid class.

Lina: Not bad though. We should duke it out sometime, Aleyann.

Gourrigan: That's easy. Just tell Lina her boobs are too small.

Aleyann begins to cast a spell.

Gourrigan singes as the Burst of Fire hits them.

Lina: Hmmm....can I learn that spell?

Meanwhile...

Junpei: So you know where there is an elf that has the rest of the spell on him?

Xellos: That's right! I heard of your awful plight and rushed here as soon as possible.

Airi: You aren't another one of Celsia's dumb disguises are you?

Xellos: No...I'm just a mysterious priest, an invincible general of the God L-Sama with a fetish for secrets.

Junpei: Whatever! Get in the tank and tell us where this elf is. Japan here we come!

Xellos: Why is everyone looking for Japan, anyways?

Ritsuko: You know...anime...Japan...they kind of go together.

Xellos: Of course.

Back on the island, the Queen has left Aleyann with the rest of the cast. Martina is taking care of Zangulus in their hut.

Lina: Taking care of, huh?

Amelia: Let's just leave that one alone, shall we?

Everyone nods. Everyone has also convienently forgotten about Xellos. The sounds of the island are broken soon afterwards by the sound of heavy machinery and folliage being trampled.

Aleyann: What in the name of Tunare is THAT??

All look at a tank plowing its way across the beach.

Lina: Now what?

Rezo: Looks like Those Who Hunt Elves are here. Cool...another crossover.

Junpei: There's the elf! Get him!

The cast rushes to the scene. Lina tries blasting the tank with a fireball while Sylphiel puts up a barrier.

Xellos (appearing out of the hatch): I don't think so, guys!

Suddenly everyone but Aleyann freezes in place, trapped by Xellos' spell.

Lina: DAMN YOU XELLOS LET ME GO YOU FRUITY BASTARD!!!!

Xellos: You're going to get what's coming to you now!

Aleyann begins to cast a spell...

a tank resists the Burst of Fire spell.

Xellos: Oh, your spells won't work on this baby! pats the side of the tank

Junpei: Ok Elf...give me the rest of the spell!

Aleyann: Huh? What spell?

The tank's cannon swivles into position, pointed right at Aleyann's head.

Aleyann: gulp

Xellos: Isn't being evil fun? Aleyann will be gone and the Queen will be mine!

Aleyann: That again? Sheesh....what a bunch of paranoid, perpetually horny, dysfunctional madmen!

Xellos just giggles. The wind begins to pick up, and bright bubbles of magic energy start to form above Xellos.

Zelgadis: What are you doing now, Xellos?

Xellos: Huh? This isn't me! What's going on?

Two female elves appear floating in the air above the tank. One is garbed in simple leather and animal pelts, holding an orante wooden staff covered in runes. The other elf is dressed from head to toe in ruby colored plate armor, wielding an enormous two-handed sword.

First Elf: You are such a magnet for trouble, Aleyann!

Second Elf: Don't worry, you're safe now!

Aleyann: Rhe! Celestria! WOOOHOOO!

Rhe: Whatever this unntaural beast is, it's mine!

Rhe takes her sword and brings it crashing down on the tank's hull. The tank falls neatly in two, revealing four very shocked occupants. Celestria casts a spell and glittering blue light dances around Lina and the rest.

Lina: FREE! KILL THAT MAZUKO PIECE OF #$^!*&!

Xellos: Hmm...this didn't work very well.

Xellos tries to cast a spell on Rhe, but nothing happens.

Xellos: HUH?

Rhe walks over to the Trickster and levels her sword at him.

Rhe: Get lost...whoever you are.

Xellos gulps and disappears with the two tank halves and the three very confused people inside it.

Aleyann: Thanks Rhe! Thanks Celestria!

Rezo: Holy shit! You just beat Xellos!

Everyone realizes what happened and stares at the two in wonder.

Aleyann (snorts): You are looking at two certified Level 50's here. Rhe is a Warrior and Celestria is a Druid. There's very little they can't handle.

Rhe: Pleased to meet you all.

Gourrigan: Nice....umm...sword.

Lina elbows Gourrigan.

Lina (hissing): Stop staring you idiot!

Celestria: Sorry Aleyann, but we've got a group in Lower Guk to get back to. Keep out of trouble, okay?

Aleyann: Sure! Thanks again guys!

Celestria begins to cast a spell.

Celestria's group fades away...

Later, in the Queen's office...

Queen of Swords: You know...I should be very mad at you. You almost killed another of my writers!

Xellos (whining): Well, he was flirting with you!

Queen of Swords: I'll flirt with whom I choose! You really have a problem with that don't you?

Xellos squirms.

Queen of Swords: You really have a problem with that don't you?

Xellos (squirming again): Why do you keep saying that?

Queen of Swords (grining): To see you squirm.

Xellos: You are incorrigable.

Queen of Swords: You too.

Lina walks up to the Queen's office to give her an earful about Xellos' latest exploit, but turns away quickly when she sees a sign hanging on the doorknob.

"Do Not Disturb"

*** The End ***