Just Another Boring Day
by The Silver Sorceress

It was another boring day on the island.

Lina: Ugh. Another boring day. Can't these stupid authors ever start the story with 'it's another wild party on Gourrigan's Island'? It's always so predictable.

The girls are hanging out in their hut, enjoying their boring day.

Amelia: It's not always predictable. We've had plenty of interesting adventures.

Amelia's gaze drifts to outside, where she can see Zelgadis talking to Gourrigan. She sighs.

Amelia: Oh, Zelgadis, my love. Why can't you see that-

Lina, Naga, Sylphiel, Filia (mimicking along with Amelia): Our love is eternal.

Amelia puts her hands on her hips and glares at them.

Naga: OH HOHOHOHO! Foolish girl, it is obvious that Zelgadis doesn't want you. It's no wonder, when a woman as beautiful and talented as I is on this island as well. How can any of these men think of anyone but me? OH HOHOHOHOHO!

Lina (rolls her eyes): Amelia swoons over Zelgadis, Naga gives her annoying laugh and brags. Predictable!

Outside, Xellos is informing the guys about something that's a secret, Gourrigan is acting stupid, Zelgadis is depressed, and Rezo is ironing all of his red clothing with an iron that Xellos made out of coconut.

Martina and Zangulus are no where to be seen.

Lina (whining): Predictable, predictable, predictable! Why can't we have a little variety, a little change?

Lightening flashes and thunder crashes in the background. Evil maniacal laughter is heard echoing throughout the island. Smoke fills the hut, and a shadowy figure appears in the midst of the smoke.

Amelia and Sylphiel cower behind Lina and Naga. Filia raises her mace threateningly at the intruder. The guys plow into the hut.

Then the smoke clears. And everyone stares in shock.

A short, brown-haired teenager is standing before them. She's dressed in jeans and a white tank top with a blue button-up shirt over it. She's holding a clipboard and a pencil is tucked behind her ear.

Silver: giggle Hi there everyone! Cool entrance, a? I'm The Silver Sorceress, but you can call me Silver!

Filia: You're today's author?

Silver nods. Everyone groans.

Gourrigan: Wow, you're as short as Lina!

Lina starts to reach out to smack him, but Silver beats her to it.

Silver: I am not short! I prefer the term 'vertically challenged'.

Gourrigan (rubbing his head): Temper as short as Lina's, too.

Lina glares at him, but Silver chooses to ignore the comment.

Silver: Anyway, today's show is gonna be great! I thought about what Lina has been saying-

Zelgadis: Just what has Lina been saying?

Silver: She's been complaining about everything being so predictable. So I've decided to take away all of the usual jokes.

Rezo: All of the usual jokes? I have a bad feeling about this...

Silver (shrugging): It's no big deal. Just things like Lina not being able to fireball and beat up anyone and no more Funky Fruit.

Filia: NOOOOO! You can't take away our Funky Fruit!

Xellos (snickers): I thought you were off the stuff.

Filia (flushes): Well, uh... gee, I was um just worried about er everyone else.

Xellos: Suuuuuure.

Filia (glares at him): Shove it, Mazoku trash.

Silver: Well, as much as I'd love to stay, I must be going.

Silver disappears, leaving the castaways to worry about what Silver has planned for them.

*****

The gang decides on playing a rousing game of Go Fish for the rest of the afternoon. Only Rezo, who's taking a nap, and Zangulus, who's sharpening his sword, are absent.

Naga: Sylphiel, got any 2's?

Syl: Go Fish.

Naga picks up a card from the fish pile.

Martina: Xellos, got any 6's?

Xellos (smirks): It's a- augh!

Xellos pulls out a six and throws it at Martina with a disgusted sigh.

Everyone looks at him curiously.

Zelgadis is the first one to figure it out. He snickers.

Zel: You can't say 'it's a secret', can you?

Xellos pouts.

Amelia: Maybe Silver's changes won't be so bad, after all.

Filia (giggling wickedly): So, Xellos, tell us, just how old are you?

Xellos (pales): Er... it's a... sora... um... I'm over 1000 years old! Damn dragon girl!

Lina (smirks): Xellos can't keep a secret!

Naga (prepares for a big laugh): AH HA- ack!

Naga's chest as shrunk to a size even smaller than Lina's.

Lina starts laughing so hard that she falls off her chair and starts rolling around on the ground.

Naga: My babies! NOOOOO! And you stop laughing, Lina Inverse! You're still a flat-chested little sorceress! Stop! Grrrrr... EXPLOSION ARRAY!

The ground under Lina explodes and Lina flies into the air, then drops back down, landing on the table they were playing cards on. She jumps to her feet and glares down at Naga.

Lina: FIREBALL!

Nothing happens. Crickets chirp in the background.

Amelia: Remember, Miss Lina? Silver said that you can't fireball anyone or beat them up.

Lina storms off to the closest hut (which happens to be the unoccupied hut of Martina & Zangulus), mumbling something about stupid fanfic authors. Gourrigan follows her.

Everyone turns from Lina to stare at Naga.

Naga: Take a picture, it lasts longer.

Naga storms off into the forest.

Zel turns to Xellos.

Zel: So, Xellos...

Xellos: That's it, I'm out of here, too.

Xellos sets off for the beach.

The remaining castaways exchange wary glances, wondering who will be the next victim of Silver's evil.

There question is soon answered.

Rezo screams. He races out of the guy's hut, waving his arms around frantically. But most importantly, he's wearing... green?

Rezo: You guys have to help me! All of my clothes are green!

Filia (raises an eyebrow): How can you tell? You're blind.

Rezo: So?

Filia (shakes her head): Never mind.

Rezo: Anyway, you have to help me! I can't wear green! I'm the red priest! I'll go mad!

Zel: But you're blind! Why does it matter?

Rezo (starts to sob hysterically): None of you understand.

He storms back into the hut.

Meanwhile, Gourrigan is trying to comfort Lina.

Lina (sniffs): I can't believe she did that to me!

Gourrigan: Maybe some food will help you?

Lina: If I can't fireball people, what is life worth living?

Gourrigan adorns an apron and starts making some soup.

Lina: What am I without-giggle- what in the world are you doing?

Gourrigan: Making you soup.

Lina: You look like Martha Stewart.

Gourrigan: You're ungrateful. Soup's on.

Gourrigan pours them both a bowl of soup. The two start to eat.

Lina: Hey, this is pretty good. Where did you get it?

Gourrigan: Silver gave it to me. Said it was Sauteed Mushroom Soup.

Lina: Silver gave it to- uh-oh...

Gourrigan: What's wrong?

Lina: I'm feelin' kinda funky...

Gourrigan: Whooooooa. Me, too, man!

Lina: The room's swirlin' with all these funkadellic colors! Sashaying mushrooms, you say?

Gourrigan: Sashaying mushrooms, teeheehee.

Lina: Thiss iss funky!

Gourrigan: Hey, I thoughts Sliver said no more funky fruit.

Silver materializes in the room.

Silver: Indeed, I did say no more funky fruit, but that wasn't funky fruit. They're Magic Mushrooms.

Lina: Sashaying Mushrooms.

Silver (raises an eyebrow): Whatever. Enjoy!

Silver disappears.

Lina (giggling): Wuss that cool or what? She went poof. Teeheehee.

Gourrigan: This iz great. I mist that funky fruit.

Lina: Hey, Gourrigan, thats a nise lookin' sword you got there.

Gourrigan (patting the Sword of Light): Thiss baby slicez and dicez.

Lina (grinning mischievously): Not that sword.

Gourrigan stares at her blankly. Then the lightbulb goes on.

Gourrigan: Oh, *that* one.

*****

*****

Amelia, Zel, Zangulus, Martina, and Sylphiel continue in the rousing game of Go Fish. Only it was now Strip Go Fish because we all know that all games are more fun when they're strip. Sylphiel was the only one who hadn't removed a single garment, while all of the others sat around in their underwear.

Filia had found the game dull and retreated to her hut.

Zangulus and Martina suddenly realized that all of this stripping was getting them turned on and they headed off for their hut. Only to find that it was already occupied.

The two stormed back to the table.

Martina (whining): Lina and Gourrigan stole our hut!

Amelia & Zel: EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Sylphiel (darkly): Well if you can't eat food, why not eat your friends?

Everyone: NANI?!

Sylphiel giggles nervously and a sweatdrop appears on her forehead.

Zangulus: Sylphiel's dark side is revealed.

Amelia: Hey! I figured out why Lina and Gourrigan are in *your* hut!

Zangulus & Martina: Why?

Amelia: Because that's your predictable joke. You two are always off in that shack of yours, doing L-sama knows what-

Zel: Screwing around, Amelia, they're screwing around.

Amelia (glaring at Zel): Thank for pointing that out, Mr. Zelgadis. Now, as I was saying, the authors are always shacking Mr. Zangulus and Mrs. Martina up, so notw they can't er... you know... for the rest of this episode.

Sylphiel (thoughtfully): You know, I think the reason the authors always have Martina and Zangulus off in their hut is because they don't want to write about them.

Zangulus & Martina: Hey!

Zel (thoughtfully): I think you're right. I mean, Martina and Zangulus are rarely actually in the stories. They're always off doing their couple thing. But when they actually make an appearance, they have barely any lines. Zangulus is always 'Gourry fight me' this and 'Gourry fight me' that. And Martina... blech!

Zangulus and Martina: Hey!

Zel and Syl nod at each other thoughtfully.

Amelia (thoughtfully): You two raise a good point.

Zangulus and Martina storm off into the woods.

And then there were three.

Zel looks over at his two companions.

Zel: More Strip Go Fish?

Syl: Nah. I was beating your butts. Let's do something else.

Amelia: What?

Zel: How about a swim?

Syl & Amelia: Sure.

The three castaways head off for the lake with the waterfall. They dive into the water.

Zel watches Amelia swim. Amelia does the slow-mo thing where she stands up in the water and shakes her head, sending her hair loose and little slo-mo drops of water fly all over the place.

Zel (thinking): Wow, she's hot! Wait a minute...

Amelia (thinking): Why do I suddenly find Zelgadis so repulsive?

Sylphiel (thinking): Damn flat-chested little witch stealing my Gourrigan...

*****

Xellos had taken a long walk along the beach and had finally decided to return to the castaway's village. He found that there was no one there. Upon further investigation, he found that Martina and Zangulus's hut was occupied and Rezo was in the guy's hut, crying about the color green. Xellos decided to retreat to the girl's cabin. He stepped in and flopped down into one of the hammocks.

Filia: What are you doing here Mazoku garb- lovely person. Ugh. I hate Silver.

Xellos: I'm here because I have nothing better to do than bother you and see if I can get a rise out of you and feed off of your anger.

Xellos's hand flies over his mouth.

Filia sighs.

Filia: Go and bother the Queen.

Xellos: Hm, that sounds tempting. But right now I'd rather annoy you ^_^

Filia shakes her head and sighs again.

Zel: Amelia, come back, I love you!

Amelia: Stay away from me!

Filia and Xellos race to the window and watch the little drama unfold in front of them.

Amelia is running through the village, ducking around the huts and looping behind trees. Zel is chasing after, using his demon speed, but Amelia is so freaked that she is outrunning the crazed chimera. Sylphiel is leaning against a palm tree, watching the spectacle. Rezo comes out of the hut to watch the show, too. Soon, Naga, Zangulus, and Martina come out of the forest to see what all of the ruckus is about. Gourrigan and Lina also appear, now sober from their mushroom experience.

Zel: AMELIAAAAA! Our love is forever! Don't fight it!

Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis, get away from me!

Sylphiel: Now there's something I never thought I'd see...

Amelia: Miss Lina, Miss Lina! Save me!

Gourrigan: Maybe we should stop them...

Gourrigan and Lina exchange a look.

Lina and Gourrigan: Nah!

Silver chooses that moment to appear in the castaway village.

Silver: Hey, guys, how are you all doing?

Everyone's eyes turn to Silver. They all glare at her menacingly.

Silver: Er, heh heh, something wrong?

Xellos exits the hut, walks right up to Silver, and smacks her in the head with his staff.

Silver: You scup.

Silver passes out.

Suddenly, Naga's chest returns to its regular size. Rezo's shirt turns red. Zel finds Amelia unattractive again and Amelia is madly in love with Zel again. Zangulus and Martina skip over to their hut.

Xellos turns to Lina.

Xellos: Ask me a question!

Lina: Um... where were you born?

Xellos: It's a secret! Ha ha HAHAHAHAHA!

Filia (mumbling): Fruitcake.

Amelia: Oh, Mr. Zelgadis! I didn't really mean all of the horrible things I said! Come here!

Zel takes one look at Amelia and bolts.

Sylphiel: Wow, Rezo, that's a great color on you.

Naga: AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Xellos: It's a secret, it's a secret, teeheeheeheehee!

Lina sighs happily.

Lina: It looks like everything is back to normal.