The Resurrection of MtRP
by Michael the Red Priest

Before reading this story, read Shizuka's story "Wish for You", or you won't know who Shizuka is.

It’s been almost a month since the ultimate clash between siblings occured, and Michael the Red Priest fell. We find a still grief-stricken Firia standing in front of Michael’s grave, accompanied by the Queen of Swords.

Firia: Has it really been a month Queen?
QoS: Yes, it has.
Firia: Wow, it almost seems like an eternity. But then again being anything would seem like an eternity without Michael.

She places a flower before the grave.

Firia: Oh Michael, If I could just be with you one more time...
Michael the Red Priest: You called?

The Queen and Firia slowly turn to see Michael standing before them, decked out in a red 19th century Japanese police uniform, and clutching what looks like a Sakaba blade. He smiles warmly as he looks into Firia’s eyes--which seem to posess a glare of anger.

Firia: XELLOS!!! THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!
Michael: Oro?
Firia: CHAOTIC DISENTEGRATION!!!
Michael: FIRIA-CHAN, WAIT A MINUTE!!! AIEEEEEEEE!!!!

The ground beneath Michael lights up, and he promptley enveloped by the spell. Xellos soon appears to find out what all the commotion was about.

Xellos: Was that the chaotic disentegration I just saw?

Firia looks at Xellos, then at the unconscious and slightly charred figure of her husband. She points to Xellos.

Firia: But if you’re here, then who’s that?
QoS: I dunno, but we better get him back to the village.

The three pickup Michael and carry him back to the village. Hours later, the Red Priest slowly awakens to consciousness. He looks around to see all of the castaways, the Queen, and two new additions standing over him. He recognizes one to be his good buddy and classemate, Shizuka, and the other to be Shizuka’s girlfriend, Haki. Michael sits up.

Michael: Ugh, did anyone get the liscence number of that truck that hit me?
Lina: Michael, is that you?
Michael: No, I’m Famous Amos, here to deliver you some cookies.
Gourrigan: Really? All right!!! I love your chocolate chip pecan cookies.

Lina bonks Gourrigan on the head to shut him up.

Lina: Baka. He’s being sarcastic. Of course he’s Michael. (Looks at Michael) You are Michael, aren’t you?
Michael: Well, yeah, who else would I be?

Gourrigan prepares to suggest Famous Amos, but a cold glare from Lina silences him before he could speak.

Firia: I don’t buy it.
Michael: Wha???
Firia: I won’t believe you’re my Michael-chan until you can prove it.
Michael: How?
Firia: Tell me something that only Michael and I would know.
Michael: Oh, okay.

Michael gestures Firia to come closer. She leans down and he begins to whisper something in her ear. The more he whispered, the more flushed Firia became with embarrasment. When he finishes, he flashes a grin, to which Firia responds with a giggle.

Firia: It’s him alright.
Zelgadis: But how could he be here? Most of us here watched him die.

All who were there produce a mental image of Michael killing Cyber-Freeza, and then collapsing to the ground in extreme pain.

Michael: Zelgadis my good chimera, the answer to that is quite simple: I’m still dead.
All: What?

Michael grins and points to the halo hanging above his head.

Michael: The only reason I’m here is because I snuck past Earth’s Spirit World Checking station without Demon Lord Daio spotting me. I had come up with an idea for a way to bring me back to the physical plane, and I needed to tell you guys.
Lina: So, what’s the plan.a
Michael: Dragonballs.
Xellos: You mean the ones you used to wish dead music stars back for our party?
Michael: Yep.
Shizuka: Um, Michael?

Michael looks at Shizuka. Gee, thinks Mike, it’s been a while since I last saw him. Come to think of it, the last time I saw him was when he was recalled back to the heavens after completing his earth training. I can’t believing I was hanging around a god. He really doesn’t look like one, you’d never suspect it.

Michael: Yes Shizuka.
Shizuka: Did you use the earth dragonballs?
Michael: Yeah, what else would I use? I’d need a spaceship to get the Namek ones.
Shizuka: Have you forgotten about the rules?

Michael facefaults.

Michael: Shit.

Michael calmly stands up and picks up a rock. He grip on the rock begins to tighten, and the rock soon crumbles to gravel.

Michael: Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!!!
Firia: What’s wrong?
Michael: I forgot about the rules regarding the dragonballs.
Lina: Rules?
Michael: Yes, rules. The eternal dragon Shenron has great power when the balls are active, but after a wish is made, the balls go into a state of dormancy. The balls require a full standard earth year before Shenron can be called back to grant another wish. That means we’d have to wait another 8 months before we can call him back. Damn.

Michael slumps back down on the sand.

Xellos: Oh, I remember now. I recall finding one near your grave and throwing into the ocean.
Shizuka: Impossible. It must have been a fake.
Michael: Looks like I’ll have to wait.
Firia: No!!!

She grabs her husband by the collar, picks him up, and shakes vigorously.

Firia: No, no, no!!! I can’t wait that long! You don’t know what hell I’ve been through this past month!
Michael (still being shaken): Oro?
Firia: Do you have any idea what it’s like to go a month without the sex we had?!

Blink-blink. All (including Mike) stare at Firia, who begins to go scarlet.

Firia: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS LOOKING AT???
Guys and Girls: Oh, um, nothing.
Firia: Good.

She unceremoniously drops her husband on the ground, who dusts himself off and goes back to pondering.

Michael: Okay, so the dragonballs are no longer an option now. I guess we’ll have to look at some other options. What else can bring back the dead?

Shizuka suddenly realizes he could be in trouble, so he begins to try and put as much distance as he can between the group. Haki turns to see her boyfriend creeping away.

Haki: Shizuka-san, where are you going?

Shizuka freezes in his tracks, and slowly turns to see everyone looking at him in a suspicious manner.

Shizuka: *sweatdrop* Um, ha ha...nowhere.

Lina: Wait a minute! He’s a god! He could--
Shizuka: BYE!!!

Shizuka spins on his heels and runs as fast as his legs can carry him.

Firia: AFTER HIM!!! HE MUST NOT ESCAPE!!!

All start to run after him, but it’s apparent that none of them could catch up. So Zel trys a better approach.

Zelgadis: SHADOW SNAP!!!

Zel chucks his sword at Shizuka’s shadow, to which it sticks to, stopping Shizuka in his tracks. But Shizuka simply grins, grabs the sword, and yanks it out of his shadow. He continues to run.

Zelgadis: Hey!!! Come back with my sword you bastard!!!

Shizuka chuckles as he continues to run. At least I’m better-equiped, he thinks. He chuckles, but once again, is stopped in his tracks. Oh great, another shadow snap. Shizuka turns to pull out whatever is stopping him and face faults.

Shizuka: That’s...not...fair.

He finds himself staring at a multitude of weapons being used as shadow snares: Lina’s sword, Naga’s sword, the Sword of Light, the Demon Howling Sword, the Hammer of Justice, Firia’s mace, Michael’s Sakaba, Rezo’s staff, Xellos’ staff, Sylphiel’s strange-looking wand, and what appears to be a hairpin.

Shizuka: Et tu Haki?

He begins to start yanking out the weapons as fast as he can. Everytime he pulls one free, the group comes closer to catching him.

Shizuka: HA! Those fools actually thought they could restrain me. I only have three more of these to pull out and--AIEEE!!!

Shizuka gets tackled, and is quickly buried beneath the mass of people. He blasts them all off with his powers, and then continues to pull out the weapons from his shadow. Lina reaches into her tunic and pulls out a chocolate bar,which she throws at him. The chocolate bar connects, and Shizuka passes out.

Shizuka wakes up to find himself in Michael and Firia’s hut, tied up from head to toe in every binding material you could think of. He looks in front of him to see Firia shining a big spotlight in Shizuka’s eyes. A concerned Michael is behind her, looking at his friend to see how he was holding out.

Michael: Firia-chan, is this really necessary? We’ve already got him restrained.

Firia looks at her husband in an impatient way.

Firia: Yes...it’s necessary. (Eyes narrow) Is there are problem with that?
Michael: Um, no, not at all...Heh.

Firia redirects her attention to the god.

Firia: We know you can bring back Michael-chan, so you’re going to do it, or suffer the consequences.
Shizuka: There’s nothing in the world that you can do to phase me. So go ahead, do your worst.
Firia (evil grin): Okaaaayyyy. Haki, you can come in now!!!

Haki enters the hut wearing a very skimpy nurses outfit, and carries a suitcase in with her. Shizuka just stares at his girlfriend in awe as some blood begins to trickle out of his nose.

Shizuka: What’s going on here?
Firia: Well, you’re right. I can’t do anything to phase you, but she certainly can. So I explained to her what’s going on, and she agreed to help. Well Shizuka, were going to leave now. Enjoy your time with her.

Firia takes her husband by the arm and the two walk out. As they close the door, Haki opens the suitcase and pulls out a whip. Shizuka’s nosebleed goes from a mild trickle to a full-scale gush. The next day, Haki emerges from the hut, dragging a zoned-out Shizuka from behind. She drops him on the ground for all to see. Firia is the first to speak.

Firia: So Shizuka, what have you decided?

Silence.

Firia: Shizuka?

Still nothing.

Firia (becoming irate): Shi...zu...ka?

Yet again nothing. Firia pulls out her mace and gets ready to smack Shizuka, when he snaps out of the state and begins to cry.

Shizuka: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!!! I’LL HELP HIM, JUST LET ME BE FOR A MOMENT!!!

Shizuka curls up into a fetal position and begins to cry his eyes out.

Zelgadis: Damn. Haki what did you do to him?

Rezo: Well, she is a succubus. Did you seduce him?

Haki smiles and opens the suitcase. Inside are various instruments of pain-inducing torture. Rezo gets as good "look" at what’s inside and takes a few steps back. Haki smiles yet again.

Rezo: Tools that can even break the souls of the gods....
Haki: Remember, I’m a demoness. Torture is not only hobby, it’s a profession. (displays a look of concern) Gee, I hope I didn’t overdo it... I’ll to apologize when he comes back to his senses.

Later...

Michael: Are we ready Shizuka?

Shizuka looks up at his buddy to see him dressed up in his red priest garbs. They look different though. Michael ditched the inner robe and replaced it with his red police uniform.

Shizuka: The robe got to you didn’t it?
Michael: Yeah. That, and I kinda freaked out after hearing the joke about Rezo (See "The Zone" episode for reference).
Shizuka: I know that feeling. I tried doing the robe thing once, and it ended up a disaster. Don’t ask.
Michael: Okay. (Realizing they’d fallen off topic) Anyway, are we ready?
Shizuka: Just about. I had Lina make a magic circle, and Haki has talked to you about the procedures, right?
Michael: Yeah. So what’s missing?
Shizuka: Well, bringing back a loved one must nothing but extraordinary, so I asked for candles and insense for dramatic effects. Xellos and the other guys are getting some right now.

In the guys hut, we find Xellos and the other men staring at the ‘Trunk O’ Tricks’. None dare to touch it, fearing being blasted to bits.

Gourrigan: Xel, are you sure that’s the only place we can get what Shizuka asked for?
Xellos: Unfortunately, yes. Hmm... There must be some way to open that thing.

Xellos eyes every curve of the Gothic trunk, and notices that there’s a blocky surface sticking out of the side that he never noticed before. He carefully examines the texture, and grins.

Xellos: Well imagine that. She really thought she could keep secrets from the great Xellos?
Zelgadis: What are you talking about fruitcake?
Xellos: It’s an interface to the photon cannon inside the trunk. We might be able to disable this thing. Zel, pass me some pliers and a wire cutter.

Zel hand Xellos the tools, and Xel pries the lid to the interface open. He clips a couple wires, and crosses other ones. He closes the lid.

Xellos: That should do it. So, who’s going to open it? (Looks a Zelgadis) Zel, would you care to do the honors?
Zelgadis: Actually, I think you should do it Xel. After all, it is your trunk.
Xellos: No really, I insist.
Zelgadis: But I don’t want to.

The two begin to glare evily at each of other, but Rezo interjects.

Rezo: Look, before this gets out of hand, why don’t we just play rock, paper, scissors to solve this.
Zel, Xel: Okay.
Rezo: Okay, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors.

The three make there choices.

Rezo: Okay, I picked rock, and rock beats...

Rezo looks at Xellos and Zelgadis to see them making some ridiculous poses.

Rezo: Well Xel, what the hell did you pick?
Xellos: Shabranigdo. Shabranigdo smashes rock and everything else below it, so you lose Rezo. So Zel, what did you pick?

Zelgadis flashes a sly grin.

Zelgadis: L-sama. L-sama puts the smack down on rocks, papers, scissors, planets, and even the power-hungry lord of all Mazoku. I win.

Xellos and Rezo facefault, and Zelgadis snickers.

Xellos: Well Zelgadis, it seems you’ve actually been paying attention to my tricks. *Sigh* Very well, I’ll open it.

Xellos walks over to the trunk and opens it. The camera focus on the outside of the hut as it illuminates inside and big plumes of smoke and fire blast out from every hole of the abode. The Queen enters the hut to see all sprawled out across the floor.

QoS: You guys tried to tamper with the photon cannon, didn’t you?

Xellos meekly nods, and the Queen rolls her eyes.

QoS: If you guys needed something from there, why didn’t you just ask?

The Queen pulls out a remote and pushes a button. The distinct noise of an engine powering down can be heard. The trunk opens, and the Queen walks over and pulls out the candles and insense.

Xellos: Wait a minute, you mean to tell me you had a remote for that blasted thing?

The Queen nods.

Xellos: Then why do you have an interface running into the trunk?
QoS: What interface?
Xellos (shocked look): You mean, you didn’t install that? Then who did?!

Meanwhile, up in space...

Kodos: Kang, we have a problem.
Kang: What is it Kodos?

The green, one-eyed alien looks to his counterpart.

Kodos: Someone has deactivated our probe. I’m no longer getting a reading from it.
Kang: Blast! The humans must have found it and used their ultimate weapon against it...
Kodos: *Gasp* You don’t mean...THE BOARD WITH A NAIL???
Kang: Precisely. As long as the humans have boards with nails, our conquest of Earth must be delayed. But hopefully, they’ll just make a big enough board and nail to crush themselves. Then we will be supreme rulers of the universe!!!

The two aliens laugh maniacally as we change scenes back to the islands.

QoS: I don’t recall giving Matt Groenig any permission to have his characters make a cameo. I’ll have to call my lawyers and talk about this...

It is now dark, and we find all of the castaways assembled around the magic circle Lina constructed. The candles burn brightly, and the insense wafts through the breeze. In the center, Michael and Shizuka stand in front of each other. The time has come.

Shizuka: Are you ready Michael?
Michael: Yep.
Shizuka: Before we begin Michael, I have a question.
Michael: Sure, shoot.
Shizuka: This puzzles me. When I was introduced to the castaways, you were alive, but you’re dead here. You do realize that this a massive breach in continuity with the other stories, and thereby constitues--WHAM!!!

Michael pulls his staff out of Shizuka’s face.

Michael: Geez. You give a guy a spot in your fan fic, and this is how he repays you.
Shizuka: Sorry. I am after all, the god of mass analysis.
Firia: WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH THE #@%?&!!! PROCEEDINGS ALREADY!!!
Michael, Shizuka: EEEP!!! Yes ma’am!!!

Shizuka and Michael snap to attention, and Shizuka starts to grant the wish. His eyes close and an aura begins to surround him. In an instant, Shizuka’s marking illuminates and a transmission beam of white light shoots into the air. In a moment, the response returns.

Shizuka: Here it comes.

The beam returned toward the surface, but it did not hit Michael. It instead hit Shizuka, causing a massive explosion that rocked the island. When the smoke clears, we see an extremely pissed Shizuka hobble up and look at the surroundings. While the explosion was large, its blast radius stayed within the vicinity of the circle, so no others were harmed. Wait, Mike was in the circle too.

Shizuka: Michael, are you all right?
Michael: I will be, once I find an asprin the size of the Noonza. What the hell happened?
Shizuka: I have no clue.

As if on cue, a red beam lands next to Shizuka, and forms into the shape of a letter. Shizuka picks up the stationery and begins to read it aloud.

Shizuka: To my DEFINITELY FORMER secretary, Shizuka. If you ever use a devil’s star to cast a spell directed at Yggdarsil again, I will personally be the one to kick your scrawny ass and demote you back to earth trainee. Sincerely, your favorite head god, Kame-sama.

Shizuka’s eyes narrow as he slowly turns his head to face Lina. His hand crushes the note, which then begins to burn. Lina gulps and takes a step back.

Shizuka: Devil’s....star?
Lina: Er, well, you did say to make a magic circle; so I made one.
Shizuka: But did you have to make a devil’s star for a white magic spell???

From out of nowhere, a deck of cards appeared in Shizuka’s hand, and began coming together to make a large sword out of the blade-like cards. Lina responds by preparing a dragonslave.

Lina: Well you didn’t specify.
Shizuka: Did I have too? You of all people should know that ressurection is white magic. I thought you’d be smart enough to make a rune star.

The two glare at each other for a moment, then the Queen intervenes.

QoS: All right you two, knock it off this instant. I don’t want any more fatalities, understand?

The two get their lasts glares in, and power down from their moves.

Michael: So what do we do now?
Shizuka: We try again. And this time, I’ll make the circle.

Lina sticks out her tongue.

Rezo: Damn, the tension here is thick enough to cut with a knife.

Xellos produces a knife from thin air, and begins to cut a piece of the script off. He places it on a plate and hands it Rezo.

Xellos: Do you wanna taste?
Rezo: Sure, don’t mind if I do.
Shizuka: Knock it off you two, we have work to do.

Hours Later....

Shizuka: Okay guys, are we ready?

All except Michael take a couple of steps back from the circle, and signal OK.

Shizuka: Alrighty then, let’s try this again....

Shizuka closes his eyes again and sends his requests up to the heavens. The beam returns and nails Michael, who is promptly vaporized. All stare quietly at the smoldering spot where Michael’s spiritual body was. Firia is the first to freak out.

Firia: Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-
Amelia: HOLY!!! He-he-
Zangulus: He’s been vaporized!!!
Firia: Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-
Gourrigan: OH COOL!!! THAT WAS JUST LIKE STAR TREK!!! DO IT AGAIN SHIZUAKA!!!

BAM!!! Lina withdraws her fist from Gourrigan’s face.

Firia: Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-
Lina: Shizuka, what the hell happened? I thought you had everything under control?
Shizuka: I DID!!! Well, I thought I did. It might be that Yggdarsil is still on the fritz. It’s probably just some computing error. He’ll be all right. I hope.
Firia: Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-
Haki: Oh dear. Shizuka-san, has anything like this ever happened before?
Shizuka: Not to my knowledge. If it has, then it happened well before my time.
Firia: Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-

Xellos puts his arm around Firia and brings her close.

Xellos (in a comforting tone): There there Firia, everything will be all right. And if not, you’ll always have me to help you forget what’s-his-name.
Amelia, QoS: XELLOS!!!

Xellos flashes a grin and shrugs his shoulders. Just then, Shizuka’s face lights up with a sudden realization.

Shizuka: Of course!!! That’s what I forgot to do!

Shizuka sends yet another beam into the heavens again, and crosses his fingers. Immediately after transmission, a red beam comes sprialing toward the magic circle in response. The beam begins to take the form of a body in a brilliant flash of light. When the light dims, the castaways can make out the features of the person. The guy is wearing a red gi that is not buttoned up, and is wearing red pants to go with it. from what it looks like, anything lower than the guy’s upper chest has been wrapped in bandages with the pants covering most of it. The guy was also sporting a bandanna tied around his forehead, and the mighty Zambaa sword was in his hands. He flashes a grin at the castaways, exposing his fangs. He then opens his mismatched eyes, and looks at Firia, who is staring in awe for all of two seconds. She rushes toward the man and wraps her arms around him.

Firia: Michael! You’re back?
Michael: Yep.

Xellos nervously grins, and takes a step forward to greet Michael.

Xellos: Well Michael, welcome back to the mortal realm. I-
Michael: Not so fast Xellos.
Xellos: Eh?
Michael: I watched from the heavens as you tried to put the moves on my wife. And altough I could have executed my punishment from the heavens, (evil grin) I wanted to wait till I had this in my hands to deilver the punishment personally.
Xellos: *Gulp*
Michael: Now hold still, otherwise this going to REALLY hurt....
Xellos: YIPE!!!

Xellos turns and runs just in time as the Zambaa sword comes crashing into the ground, leaving a massive imprint, and breaking the earth below it.

Michael: Come back here Xellos!!!

Michael pulls the Zambaa out from the ground and continues to chase after him.

QoS: Hoo boy. I’m gonna go call his sister and tell him he’s back.
Lina: Okay. What should we do with those two?
QoS: Let Mike have his fun for an hour. If he hasn’t stopped beating the shit out of Xellos by then, you can stop them yourselves.
Lina: All Right.

The Queen disappears to go make her call, and the others continue to watch as Michael chases Xellos.

Zelgadis: Do we really have to wait an hour?
Lina: Nah, let’s make it two. That way I can eat as slowly as I want.
Gourrigan: But Lina, you never it eat slowly.
Lina: What did you say?!
Gourrigan: ACK!!! NOTHING, HONEST!!!
Lina: FIREBALL!!!

As the smoke clears, a singed Gourrigan runs out of the plumes of smoke, with Lina close behind him.

Lina: Come back here Gourrigan, and fight me like a man!!!
Zelgadis: *Sigh* So are we ready to eat?

The remaining castaways nod in agreement, and head back to the village and leave the others to their quarrels. Just another day here on the island.

^_^ -THE END- ^_^