This latest chapter of Crazy contains a songfic. May it be said at the outset that, 1) I’m not very good at songfics, 2) It’s been years since I’ve seen "Hard Day’s Night" and 3) I took lots and lots of liberties with that very amusing movie’s script. For starters, I omitted The Beatles. You purists, don’t hurt me. It’s just a damn fanfic, get over it.

        "Surreal…"
        Inu Yasha stuck close to Kagome as he tried to navigate his way through the crowd while colored lights pulsed all around and loud music throbbed in his very bones. His ears were plastered against his skull, but the decibel level was still giving him a headache. He’d be blind or hypnotized if it wasn’t for his dark blue sunglasses. The place was packed with mostly teenagers dressed much like himself and his companions, most of them gyrating in time with the music. Shunusuke’s band was on a stage at the far end of the room. Cute girls in bikinis danced furiously at either end of the stage, each girl’s body painted with strange words and symbols in bright colors. The girls were even more hypnotic than the lights—
        "OOF! Kagome!"
        "Stop staring."
        Inu Yasha rubbed his dented tummy and muttered bitterly: "Bitch. Why don’t you dance like that?"
        Kagome huffed. "You’ve never seen me dance, so how do you know I don’t dance like that?"
        His mouth twitched. "Do you dance like that?" He shot a quick glance at the wiggling, mostly naked dancing girls, then back to Kagome. She was wearing more clothes than those other girls but not much. He imagined her jiggling and wriggling and got a great big, happy smile on his face. "Really?"
        Kagome frowned. "Why? Do you want me to get up there and dance, too?"
        Inu Yasha gaped. "NOT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!" Then he coughed and gave her an embarrassed look. "I meant, just for me…if you want to…"
        "Maybe later," she purred with a playful wink, then grabbed his hand and dragged him in the direction of the bar.
        Inu Yasha’s heart jumped into his throat at the implications of that. She’d dance for him later…maybe? He imagined them in her hotel room, him sitting on her bed, her in that tiny bathing suit from yesterday…those long legs…curvy hips…jiggly breasts…soft, dark hair…
        "OOF! WHAT?!"
        "I asked if you’re thirsty," Kagome growled. "Quit thinking about those dancing girls." 
        He blinked. "I was thinking about you!"
        Blush. Giggle. "Oh. That’s ok, then. Want something to drink?"
        "Beer."
        She gave him a funny look, then ordered him a beer and got a Coke for herself. Drinks procured, they wandered back into the crowd. Inu Yasha scanned the room for familiar faces. He’d already located Shunusuke (big no-brainer, since the guy was on stage). The others, led by Yuki, had made a beeline for the dance floor, Shippo instantly hooking up with Rei. At a big, round table in the corner, Keiichi had a card game going. Karami stood behind him, leaning sexily on his shoulder like a cat. He wore a dark blue velvet suit with a white scarf at his neck and had a big, gold ring on his right hand that glittered in the light as he dealt the cards. She was in a blue velvet catsuit with high-heeled blue boots.
        Inu Yasha’s eyes roved from the card game, across the crowd, seeking anyone with white hair. He supposed he was curious to see if Hisui would attend this "forced fun" function, or if they were expected to carry on the pretense without her. But what he really wanted to see was his snotty, usually tasteful brother dressed up in a silly outfit. No, if Sesshomaru dressed up for this, it would be in whatever passed for high fashion in the era in question, which would also be interesting to see considering how outlandish the clothes seemed to be in general. Except for his own leathers, of course, and Kagome’s sexy little get up, which was very nice, indeed. Now that he saw them on her curvaceous body, he could see why those shorts were called Hot Pants. Hers were bright lemon yellow suede with a matching, equally short, barely there vest and tall, white, high-heeled boots. It was almost more than his already fragile libido could take. Especially watching her hips swing as she walked in front of him, drink in one hand, his hand in the other.
        Watching her butt put him in mind of all those "butt" comments he’d received upon his arrival at the beach, so he started slyly looking about to see if any of the girls were checking out his backside in his tight, leather pants. Come to think of it, Kagome hadn’t even tried to look at his butt, much less tell him it was cute! Maybe he just hadn’t seen her do it…
        "Looking butch, Inu Yasha," cooed a female voice in his ear, breaking Inu Yasha’s train of thought with a jolt.
        Ugh. Hisui. Inu Yasha stopped, forcing Kagome to stop with him and turn around curiously to see what was wrong. Her expression quickly went from happy to hate, then darkened even further when she saw Sesshomaru standing beside Hisui. Inu Yasha noticed his brother and sneered: "You look like a poof."
        Sesshomaru gave him a bored look. "You have no taste, brother. This was haut couture in 1968, which is when I first purchased this suit."
        "’Haut--?'"
        "High fashion, dolt."
        Inu Yasha bristled at the insult, but Hisui spoke before he could retaliate. The demon lord slunk close, reached around and gave Inu Yasha’s butt a little pat. "Nice ass for a puppy."
        Inu Yasha lowered his ears and growled at her, to no effect. "’Puppy’?"
        She giggled. Inu Yasha bit his tongue against telling her she looked slutty, since the only difference between her outfit and Kagome’s was the color: Hers was lavender, just a few shades paler than Sesshomaru’s velvet suit. Inu Yasha could just imagine Hisui and his brother spending an afternoon picking out matching outfits and taking great care to see that they didn’t clash with each other.
        And just why in the hell wasn’t Sesshomaru angry that his girlfriend was admiring some other guy’s ass?! If it had been him, Inu Yasha would’ve gone ballistic over anybody even looking at Kagome’s butt much less touching it! Didn’t the man have any pride? This was Sesshomaru, after all, the Great Demon of the Western Lands. You’d think he’d have the balls to stand up to—well, ok, maybe not stand up to Hisui Oukami the psychopath. Gods it hurt seeing his own flesh and blood so thoroughly whipped.
        "Get your hand off his butt!" Kagome snapped and jerked Inu Yasha out of the demon lord’s reach. She glared meaningfully at Sesshomaru. "Pat his butt!"
        "Are you saying you like my ass?" Sesshomaru teased.
        Kagome gagged. Inu Yasha turned purple with rage. "Come on, Inu Yasha," Kagome sniffed, "we don’t have to put up with this. Let’s go find Sango." As she dragged him into the crowd, Inu Yasha heard the demon lords having a good laugh at their expense.
        When she thought they were far enough away, Kagome stopped and turned to face him, trembling with emotion. "I can’t believe that cretin is related to you! He is such a jerk!"
        Inu Yasha found that comment rather interesting, since Kagome was usually calling him a jerk. "Does this mean you don’t think I’m a jerk anymore?" He asked and gave her exposed belly a teasing little poke with one of his claws.
        Much to his surprise and quivering delight, she seemed to like that and rewarded him with a shy, sexy smile. "Well," she told him with a blush, "not as much as I used to before you starting acting like I’m your girlfriend…" She moved in close and started twisting his prayer bead necklace around her index finger.
        That’s when Sesshomaru and Hisui took them by surprise again, each one patting a butt on their way past. Kagome and Inu Yasha jumped with startled yelps and almost spilled their drinks in their haste to get their asses out of smacking range.
        "Sesshomaru…" Inu Yasha snarled at the same time Kagome cursed Hisui for touching Inu Yasha again.
        "Ooooooh, I hate that woman!"
        The demon lords were greatly amused.

        Meanwhile, Miroku and Yuki were getting busy on the dance floor with Shippo, Rei and Sango, who was boogying with the best of them after no small amount of convincing from her friends. Miroku was sure he’d died and gone to heaven. Seeing mostly naked women walking or running on the beach was one thing, the same women sensuously wiggling their scrumptious young bodies on the dance floor was even better. And seeing Sango in an ultra-short, sleeveless dress of soft, body caressing, pink silk made it oh, so difficult to remain loyal to Yuki. However, Yuki’s dress was just as short and her body just as exciting. Well, the decision should really be easy, he thought, Yuki had already made her desire to share his bed very clear, while Sango seemed determine to put him off. The way Yuki was looking at him, Miroku was almost positive he’d be getting some after the party—maybe even before the party was over if he played it right. Ah yes, Japan in Kagome’s time was a truly wonderful place.
        Sango noticed Miroku was watching her dance, got embarrassed and decided it was safer to leave the dance floor and look for Kagome, making the priest’s decision to stick with Yuki much simpler. Conveniently, Kagome and Inu Yasha were looking for her, so they met in the middle of the room. Sango told Kagome Miroku was watching her dance, so she didn’t want to dance anymore if was just going to be a kinky show for the world’s most oversexed Buddhist priest. Kagome said she wanted to dance, Miroku or no Miroku, to which Inu Yasha added that he’d pound Miroku if he caught him watching Kagome dance, would Sango like similar insurance? Half-demon bodyguard in tow, the girls headed for the dance floor and gyrated right in front of Miroku just to see how effective Inu Yasha’s glares and growls were.
        Very.
        Miroku turned his back to Kagome and Sango and danced exclusively with Yuki, who was well pleased with his decision to give her his undivided attention. She rewarded his loyalty by hooking her arms around his neck and dancing against his body. Five minutes later, he and Yuki left the party in favor of the more private condominium.
        "That took longer than I thought it would," Shippo observed with a wry snort.
        Sango rolled her eyes. "With that outfit she was wearing, I’m surprised he held out as long as he did, right, Kagome?"
        Kagome and Inu Yasha were lost in their own boogie-oogie world, each one mesmerized by the other’s moves. Inu Yasha had a perfectly silly grin on his face. Kagome batted her eyelashes at him and wriggled her hips some more just for the fun of watching his head move with them like a snake following a snake charmer’s flute.
        Rei giggled. "I think he’s hypnotized!"
        Sango stopped dancing and crossed her arms with a disgusted snort. "He’s something alright!"
        "Oh, come on, Sango, lighten up," Shippo teased. "Have some fun! Just because your date is playing in the band doesn’t mean you have to be bored!"
        "SHUNUSUKE IS NOT MY DATE!"
        Everybody on the dance floor stared at Sango as the guitar hit a sour note in the middle of "Get Off Of My Cloud", not that anybody noticed that, since Keith Richards tended to be slightly off key back in the sixties, anyway (drugs’ll do that to you). The demon hunter blushed and ran from the dance floor, pushing partygoers aside in her haste to get someplace where Shunusuke couldn’t look at her—where nobody could look at her. Stupid party! Stupid idea! Who talked her into this, anyway?
        Kagome wanted to run after her, but Inu Yasha and Shippo stopped her. "She probably wants to be left alone," Shippo advised, but Kagome wouldn’t listen.
        "She needs a friend," Kagome argued as she broke free of Inu Yasha’s hand on her arm, shoved her drink into Rei’s hand and ran after Sango.
        Inu Yasha and Shippo exchanged puzzled looks. "I thought we were her friends…" Inu Yasha muttered, pushed his glass into Rei’s free hand and followed Kagome, Shippo on his heels.
        Rei felt totally left out and wasn’t sure whether it would be right for her to follow them, since she didn’t really know Sango. Furthermore, what in the world did Inu Yasha expect her to do with a beer? She didn’t drink that kind of stuff! Ugh. Not sure what else to do, she just stood on the dance floor, not dancing, and getting stared at for it until someone showed up to rescue her.
        "Uh, hi, Rei…are you here alone?"
        Rei turned around to find a cute boy in striped pants, silk shirt and cravat standing behind her, looking really nervous. He tugged at the cravat, as if it was choking him and gave her a charming, if shaky smile.
        "Hojo!" Rei shoved the beer into his hand, earning herself an odd look for even possessing such a beverage. "I am soooo glad to see you! Where’ve you been?"
        Obviously not believing his good fortune in having a cute girl elated to see him (and notice he hadn’t been around all week), Hojo’s face locked up in dorky smile mode. He wanted to ask where Kagome had got to, but didn’t think that would be a very polite thing to ask his dancing partner. (Anyway, he distinctly saw Kagome leaving with that martial artist/demon everyone was talking about—and did that little boy they were with have a tail?)
        Finally, he said: "I came down with a cold the first night I was here, so I stayed in my room so I wouldn’t infect anybody. It sounds like I missed some excitement."
        "Did you ever!" Rei gushed, and pulled him off the dance floor and over to an empty corner to fill him in on the week’s activities.

        Meanwhile, back at the condo…
        *pant-pant-pant-pant*

        Uh, never mind the condo. Out on the beach, Sango was on her knees in the sand, crying, half of her hoping nobody would follow her, the other half wishing somebody would. But not a male somebody, that would be too embarrassing. Unless it was Shippo, of course, since he was to young to count. Ok, or Inu Yasha, since he was sort of taken and, therefore, "safe". That fickle creep Miroku was such a sex-crazed jerk! He’d spent weeks going on about how beautiful she was and wouldn’t she please bear his child, then a total stranger says she wants to sleep with him, and suddenly good ol’ Sango is chopped liver! For a while there, he actually (almost) had her believing he wanted more than just sex from her, but after the way he acted on the dance floor, she knew better. What a total creep! And it wasn’t as if she really liked him that much, anyway. Not really. Except when he was putting his life in danger for the rest of them…or making a joke to cheer her up…or smacking Inu Yasha with his staff when that big, demonic butthead was making an ass of himself again. Those good feelings lasted until he rubbed her butt or chased after another woman…again.
        Sniff! "Too bad Naraku’s curse didn’t make Miroku’s grandfather’s thing fall off, then I wouldn’t have to deal with his stupid, womanizing descendant!"
        Behind her, Shippo and Inu Yasha smacked their hands over themselves and cringed. "Harsh!" Shippo squeaked.
        Sango startled at the sound of his voice and hastily wiped the tears from her face. "Wha—what are you guys doing here? Can’t you see I want to be alone?" Sniffle.
        Kagome didn’t buy that. She sat down next to her friend, put her arms around her and gave her a gentle hug, sending Sango into a renewed fit of sobs. "I didn’t know you felt that way about Miroku…"
        "I don’t!" Sango snuggled into Kagome’s shoulder and added: "He’s a shameless womanizer! I hate him!"
        "Don’t say that," Kagome chided her quietly, "you don’t really hate him, do you? I know he’s creepy sometimes, but he’s not a bad man at all. Not like Naraku’s a bad man, I mean, or Sesshomaru’s a bad man. I’m saying he’s a nice guy inside, he’s just a bit…um…"
        "Horny." Inu Yasha flatly filled in the blank for her.
        "Very," Shippo agreed with a scowl.
        Suddenly Myouga hopped across the sand and onto Inu Yasha shoulder in a royal fit of outrage and declared at the top of his voice: "He’s a disgusting, kinky, pervert! You should see what he’s doing to that girl! And that brazen hussy is enjoying it!"
        *blink-blink*
        Everyone else’s jaw dropped, then they gasped as one: "YOU WATCHED THEM HAVE SEX?!"
        "Now who’s the pervert?" Inu Yasha added under his breath.
        Myouga hurried to defend himself. "Well, I couldn’t help it, since they were doing it in the bed next to the table upon which I was sleeping! All that grunting and groaning woke me up—and what did I wake up to? A couple of humans mating!" He wrung his hands and shook his head. "Not a pretty sight when one first awakens, let me tell you! I mean, she’s a lovely girl, of course, but that priest! Has he no shame?"
        All together now: "None."
        "Well," Kagome blushed, "you sort of have to be naked to do that…um, don’t you?"
        "I meant he’s shameless because he’s a man of the cloth, not because—oh, never mind!" The Flea grumbled. "I don’t even want to talk about it. I’m traumatized." 
        Inu Yasha tried very hard not to laugh at his poor servant, though when he thought about it, he had to admit waking up to a naked Miroku would probably traumatize him, too. Yuki naked might not be such a bad thing to wake up to… Kagome would be lots better, though. Heh. Oh yeah.
        Myouga noticed the tears on Sango’s cheeks and asked: "Why are you crying?" Then glared at his master. "What did you say this time, Lord Inu Yasha?"
        Inu Yasha flicked him off his shoulder with an indignant sniff. "It was Shippo this time, not me."
        "Hey!" Shippo protested as he reached out his hands to catch Myouga. "It’s not my fault! It’s Miroku’s for dumping Sango for Yuki!"
        "HE DID NOT DUMP ME!"
        Inu Yasha gave Myouga a meaningful look. "See? Shippo. Last time he called Shunusuke her ‘date’, now he says it’s Miroku. I didn’t do anything!" He crossed his arms and tossed his head. "Hmph! Why’s everybody blame me all the time?"
        "Because you’re an ass?" Shippo offered and got his palm bit. "OW!" The kitsune shook his injured hand, sending Myouga flying into Kagome’s hair.
        Kagome plucked him out and set him down on the sand in front of her and Sango, realized that would give him a great view up Sango’s dress, moved him to her shoulder, realized that gave him an eyeful of her cleavage and set him next to her in the sand instead. Then she felt stupid for thinking a flea (even a demon flea) would care about panties or cleavage (especially after he was so traumatized by full nudity).
        "Stop it!" Sango growled. She jumped to her feet, turned on her heel and was just about to head off down the beach away from the condo and the hotel when she spotted Shunusuke standing a few yards behind Inu Yasha and froze.
        He stood with his hands dug into his pockets, an awkward expression on his face and a perfectly ridiculous short wig on his head. As soon as Sango thought that, he pulled off the wig and stuffed it into his pants pocket, leaving his hair to tumble down about his shoulders.
        The others noticed him, looked from him to Sango and gulped. While they were deciding what to do, a group of girls emerged from the hotel, spotted Shunusuke, then Inu Yasha and screamed. "IT’S THEM! AHHHH!" And ran for the two thoroughly startled men, who could only stare at them in shock until the groupies were almost upon them. They exchanged terrified looks, then took off down the beach.

Crazy Songfic to the tune of The Beatle’s "Hard Day’s Night".

<George Harrison chord…>

I found some shards last night, and I been fighting like a dog
I found some shards last night, I could be sleeping like a log

        Inu Yasha and Shunusuke run through the sand, the gang of screaming teenage girls hot on their heels, headed in the direction of a boardwalk of shops that runs south from the end of the hotel.

               But when I give them to you I'll find the things that you’ll do
              Will make me real uptight

        The hysterical girls run down the boardwalk, past a park bench where two men are reading newspapers. Once the girls are past, the guys let down the newspapers, and it’s Shunusuke and Inu Yasha. Sango, Kagome, Shippo and Myouga catch up to them.

            You know I work all day to keep the demon lords at bay
           And it’d be nice just to hear you say "gee, Inu Yasha, you’re so brave"

          Looking rather cross, Kagome exclaims: "Inu Yasha, you wimp! I can’t believe you’re afraid of a bunch of girls!"

         The girls in question hear his name, turn around and come screaming back the way they came. Inu Yasha and Shunusuke jump up and start running again. Kagome and the others look from the groupies to them, then back again, then take off after Inu Yasha and Shunusuke.

<guitar solo!>

         The groupies, Kagome, et al tear past a couple of phone booths, not noticing it’s Shunusuke and Inu Yasha placing calls. The guys drop the receivers and run in the opposite direction as soon as they’re past.
        Still shot of Shunusuke grinning and waggling his eyebrows.
        Still shot of Inu Yasha snarling.
        Still shot of Shunusuke popping a bicep, then Inu Yasha comes into frame, flexing his arm, and they compare muscles.
        Still shot of Inu Yasha swinging around the Tetsusaiga.
        Still shot of Shunusuke doing Aikido moves.

             When you’re home I feel really uptight
            When you’re home taking those tests can’t be right!
            Right! Yeah!
            WAAAAAAA!

        Then the girls catch up to them outside a magazine shop, chase them inside, around the racks, then back out again just in time to almost crash into Kagome and the others. Inu Yasha throws Kagome over his shoulder and Shunusuke does the same with Sango, scooping up Shippo (with Myouga clinging to his kimono) with the other.

           And so I bitch and I moan, 'cause when you want to go home
           You know I whine all day

        They’re stopped by Ho jo and Rei as they charge back into the Green Mermaid.
        Hojo looks at Inu Yasha: "Say…aren’t you--?
        Inu Yasha: "No, I’m sure I’m not him."
        Hojo says: "Are you quite sure?"
        Inu Yasha: "You must have me confused with somebody else…"
        Hojo: "No, I know it’s you. It’s the ears!"
        Inu Yasha: "Are you sure?"
        Hojo looks at Inu Yasha very closely as the demon lays his ears down flat enough to hide behind his tousled bangs. The human frowns, then takes Rei by the hand and heads back into the party room. "You’re not him at all!"
       Inu Yasha exchanges a puzzled look with Shunusuke. "I think he looks more like him than I do."

           You know I whine all day
          You know I whine all day

<George Harrison guitar riffs out>

        "Inu Yasha! Put me down this instant!"
        As he put Kagome down, Inu Yasha glared after Hojo and grumbled: "I can’t believe that idiot didn’t even notice I had a girl over my shoulder!"