Crazy Chapter 24

		CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE: Chapter 24

        Gin giggled as she listened to the conversation going on inside the condo. "Poor little Inu Yasha," she thought without the slightest pity whatsoever for the half-demon. "Tch! How will you get out of this one, I wonder? Or not!" The image of Inu Yasha as one of Hisui’s pretty boy employees was just too hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that Gin almost missed an important part of the indoors conversation because she was laughing so hard. Then she had an inspiration and rang up her boss to tell him about it, feeling pretty pleased with herself, indeed.
        Inu Yasha gazed at the sea through the glass patio doors and gently swaying trees and had a sudden realization: He was on Japan’s eastern shore, which meant there should be a Great Demon in charge of this territory, a demon who was being strangely complacent about two of his (her?) rivals and their lackeys in the neighborhood. "Hey, Shunusuke? We’re in the Eastern Lands, aren’t we?" He pointed out the door in the appropriate direction to make his point.
        Shunusuke guessed where he was going with that, but let Inu Yasha finish the question himself. "Yeah, why?"
        Inu Yasha sucked on a claw. "Hisui Oukami and Sesshomaru—the Great Demons of the Northern and Western Lands—are in his territory, and we haven’t heard a peep out of him. I’d think he’d have been here a long time ago, telling them to shove off."
        Shunusuke coughed and exchanged an embarrassed look with his sister. Inu Yasha missed that, since he was looking at the ocean, not the Asanos, and just carried on with his train of thought. "I figure if we can contact the Great Demon of the Eastern Lands, we can convince him that his territory’s being threatened and—"
        "Uh, Inu Yasha?"
        He turned to face Shunusuke for the first time and didn’t like the man’s expression at all. "Don’t tell me there’s no Great Demon of the Eastern Lands…"
        Shunusuke looked at Yuki again and the two of them shrugged in unison. "There was until few months ago," Shunusuke began.
        "But he got croaked by a magical girl," Yuki finished in a tone that was half embarrassed and half amused.
        "A what?!" Kagome and the feudal visitors exclaimed at once. On the couch, still wearing their rosaries, Shinnai and Tsurai chuckled. "There’s no such thing as magical girls," Kagome snorted, "they only exist in annoyingly cute shoujo manga and anime, like Sailor Moon or Magic Knights Rayearth." She gave Yuki a narrow-eyed glare and demanded to know what really happened.
        Yuki looked innocent. "No, really. I swear. It was a magical girl, just like in Sailor Moon! I forget what she called herself though…" she scratched her head thoughtfully, "Pretty Sailor something, I think."
        "No, that’s not it," Shunusuke corrected. "It was Demon Hunter Pretty something or other…"
        "Demon Hunter Pretty Mini—" Tsurai started to say, but his brother interrupted him with a derisive snort.
        "It wasn’t ‘Demon Hunter’ anything," he insisted, "it was Pretty Sailor Rainbow Moon."
        "You idiot!" Tsurai growled back. "You made that up! It was Demon Hunter Pretty Moon!"
        "Sailor Pretty Rei-Rei, actually," said Gin, who couldn’t take it anymore and materialized on the couch between Shinnai and Tsurai. She scratched the brothers behind their ears, getting nasty growls from both for different reasons, then started preening her furry, silver tail instead.
        Kagome’s eyes bugged as she looked the newcomer up and down, scowling at her tattoos and grungy surfer girl gear. "Another kitsune," she said with a deep frown, pinning each fox spirit in the room with a sharp glare (including Shippo, who blinked up at her innocently). "Another surfer kitsune," Kagome amended. "Oh, goodie. So which one do you work for? Hisui, Sesshomaru or Mikoto Asano?"
        Gin showed her fangs and giggled.
        "She works for Asano," Shinnai grumbled, "and she’s tailing me."
        Kagome clapped her hands in mock delight and exclaimed: "Great! Then she has nothing to do with us and can just go away!"
        Sango entered the conversation at that point. "I’m confused. You three," she pointed at the kitsune on the couch, "are kitsune, yet you allow yourselves to be employed by other demons?"
        Three nods.
        "So what’s your point?" Gin asked with scowl.
        Sango glanced at Kagome, who very casually stuck her hand in her pocket where her rosaries were and moved closer to Gin as she spoke. "Her point is: Kitsune are usually pretty independent. I was surprised to find some of you working as mercenaries, too, as a matter of fact."
        Inu Yasha figured out what she was planning and did his bit to distract Gin. "Kind of degrading, isn’t it? Kitsune working for other demons…"
        Gin growled at him, keeping one eye on Kagome. That girl was up to something. She was creeping, and humans only did that when they were up to something sneaky.
        The twins knew exactly what Kagome was plotting and were more than happy to do their part toward collaring Gin. Shinnai lay his head on Gin’s shoulder and batted his eyelashes at Inu Yasha fetchingly. "Aw, gee, Inu Yasha, that’s harsh. You know how important your opinions are to us full-blooded demons."
        Ok, this was definitely suspicious. Shinnai was being cute with her. Gin bumped him off her shoulder with an annoyed grunt. She pointed a claw at Kagome, who froze just as she was about to pull a rosary out of her pocket. "What are you planning, human?"
        Kagome smiled, the very picture of innocence. "I don’t know what you mean!"
       "You’re sneaking," Gin growled, "humans only sneak when they’re planning something devious."
        "Kagome is the most noble, honest, un-devious person I know!" Miroku vowed in Kagome’s defense. He shook his fist at the heavens and began to weep some very over dramatic tears. "Never in all my travels have I known a person of more honorable character and purity! She would never sneak or plot anything devious!"
        Gin’s jaw dropped as she watched him pose and weep in nothing but his swim trunks and a rosary-wrapped leather cuff on his right arm. "Uh…"
        "You are so weird…" Said Shippo, then turned on Yuki with a sharp: "What did you do to him?"
        Which turned Gin’s curiosity on Yuki, so Kagome made her move. Just as Gin felt the rosary drop onto her shoulders, Kagome cried: "BAD DOG!" Next thing she knew, Gin was face down in the carpet, uttering very colorful words in at least five different languages.
        The other rosary-bearers exchanged angry looks, then glared at Kagome. Inu Yasha snarled: "’Bad dog’?"
        "Yeah!" Shippo yipped angrily, "kitsune are foxes, not dogs! I can’t believe you used that for your spell, Kagome! Low blow!"
        "It was a spur of the moment thing, ok?!" Kagome shot back. "Gimme a break! It wasn’t personal, or anything!" She crossed her arms and mumbled in a huff: "Whose side are you on, Shippo?"
        "He’s on the side of his own kind," Gin grouched as she painfully eased herself off of the floor and onto the couch again. "Bitch."
        "Now who’s using dog references?!" Kagome snapped, then stuck her tongue out at the irritated fox.
        Shinnai grinned: "Don’t stick that out unless you intend to use it."
        Pause.
        Kagome and Sango turned green, Inu Yasha turned red with fury, Tsurai and Myouga sighed and rolled their eyes, but everybody else was amused.
        "That was so gross," Kagome muttered.
        Shinnai giggled.
        Desperate to change the subject, Sango asked a little too loudly: "So! What happened to this magical Rei-Rei girl who was able to kill the Great Demon of the Eastern Lands?"
        Shunusuke and Yuki grinned, and Yuki informed them with great pride: "Daddy beat her in honorable combat, confiscated her magic wand that she used to transform herself and sent her into exile in China."
        "So…who’s the Great Demon of the Eastern Lands?" Inu Yasha asked carefully, though he had a terrible feeling what the answer would be. The magical girl killed the Great Demon and Mikoto Asano defeated the magical girl. Unless the Great Demon had an heir, his position was left wide open to any demon strong enough to take it. Obviously, Mikoto hadn’t taken it, or he would’ve introduced himself as the Great Demon of the Eastern Lands. At the very least, Yuki and Shunusuke would’ve said their father was the Great Demon when Inu Yasha had asked about it earlier. That left three other candidates, assuming the Great Demon of the Southern Lands hadn’t succumbed to the powers of Sailor Pretty Rei-Rei, too.
        "Daddy’s acting as executor of Kouri’s estate, since they were business associates before he was killed by Sailor Pretty Rei-Rei," Yuki explained, "but he hasn’t assumed the title, since Kouri’s little boy is the real heir, and Daddy doesn’t have anything against him. Anyway, he’s too young to accept a serious challenge. So I guess you could say Daddy’s the acting Great Demon of the Eastern Lands and guardian of the true heir, Shiroi-yama."
        "Shit."
        Gin snickered: "What a tangled web we weave, eh, Inu Yasha?"
        "Shut up," Inu Yasha grumbled back. He sat down on the arm of the chair nearest the patio doors and once again turned his eyes to the sea while he contemplated his unhappy fate. Hisui wanted an answer by tomorrow at midnight at the Mermaid Ball—the night of the New Moon, when he was, for all intents and purposes, human. No demon powers or strength to help him fight her when he told her "no", and she followed through on her threat to kill everybody he cared about. Even with his allies at his side, they’d be no match for Hisui, Sesshomaru and Asano. Not to mention their servants—Hisui’s and Mikoto’s, at least, all seemed to be Ninja of some kind. There was no way he’d work for Hisui Oukami! There had to be a way out of this that didn’t involve his friends getting killed!
        He scratched behind one of his ears and asked the room in general: "What about the Great Demon of the Southern Lands?"
        The three rosary-wearing kitsune found that funny. "He’s kitsune," Tsurai said, "with old ties to the Asano family."
        Inu Yasha sighed miserably. "Sunnovabitch."
        Gin showed her fangs. "Sunnovavixen, more correctly."
        Inu Yasha cast a meaningful glance at Kagome, who casually said: "Bad dog."
        SPLAT!
        "That’s getting pretty old, sister!" Gin growled into the carpet. "You realize any of our employers can break your pathetic spell, don’t you? And when they do, you are one dead Priestess!"
        Kagome tossed her head and pertly replied: "I’m not a priestess. I’m a junior high school student, more correctly."
        "What-EVER!"
        Inu Yasha went out onto the porch to have a really good think and get away from all of the annoying fox-people in the living room. He didn’t realize Myouga was on his shoulder until the flea spoke up once the door was closed behind them.
        "Perhaps we could just take them all back in time with us, M’lord," he suggested in a dull voice. "No, that would never work." He groaned: "How can you defeat Hisui Oukami tomorrow night, of all nights? We’re doomed."
        Inu Yasha sighed and said nothing. He wasn’t so sure he could defeat a Great Demon of Hisui’s age and experience on a good day, much less when he was without his demon powers. Especially not with the kind of back-up she had on her side. And no hope for help from the South, either, if ever there’d been some for the half-blood son of the old Great Demon of the Western Lands. What about that magical girl? Maybe if he could get back her magic wand-thing and restore her powers, she’d help him out of gratitude. She’d killed one Great Demon, why not two or three more? Four, probably, if the Great Demon of the Southern Lands decided to avenge Asano’s death, since they were supposedly so tight.
        "Lord Inu Yasha?" Myouga prodded when his master didn’t answer him. "You do have a plan, don’t you?"
        "Too bad that magical girl’s in China."
        Myouga blinked at him stupidly, not sure if he’d heard him right. "You’re not serious…"
        Just then the door opened behind them, and Inu Yasha caught a waft of Patchouli and kitsune scent: Gin. Perhaps if he ignored her…
        "Phone call for you," she announced in a way-too-perky voice and held out a bright purple cell phone to him. "It’s my boss. He wants to make you a counter-offer."

Later…

        The gang sat on the beach in a very deep funk and watched the tide come in and the sun set. The kitsune trio had left them shortly after Inu Yasha got off the phone with Mikoto Asano. They vowed to have their respective masters remove Kagome’s rosaries, and Inu Yasha dared them to try. For the sake of not giving the Great Demons anything more to be mad at them about, Kagome had reclaimed her rosaries. No apologies, though, since Inu Yasha’s temper was a much more immediate threat, and she already had a headache.
        So, Inu Yasha had three unpleasant career choices before him: Work for Hisui Oukami, work for her son Mikoto Asano, or work for neither and have one or both of them kill him and everybody he cared about. Inu Yasha found it rather interesting that Sesshomaru hadn’t hopped on the Hire Inu Yasha bandwagon, since that just seemed to be the thing to do that day (and would really mess with his head). Hm, now that he thought about it, if he were to approach Sesshomaru for a job, that would screw the hell out of Hisui and Mikoto. Or would it? Maybe that’s what they were trying to force him to do. But why? He’d seen how Sesshomaru and Hisui interacted and was positive Hisui would have no control over Inu Yasha if Sesshomaru did hire him. Mikoto certainly wouldn’t. So what would they gain by it? Unless everything was exactly as it seemed, and nobody wanted him to work for his brother. Inu Yasha lay back and closed his eyes to think about it more deeply.
        Technically, he didn’t need to ask his brother for a job, since they were both the sons of the late Great Demon of the Western Lands. However, they’d had a bit of a falling out early in their relationship, and Sesshomaru had forced his little brother out of the castle. Then there was that matter of Sesshomaru always trying to kill him for the Tetsusaiga, in which he no longer seemed to have much interest. Either Sesshomaru had been lying about that, or he really didn’t want it anymore. Either way, hiring Inu Yasha was advantageous, since he’d get the Tetsusaiga and a powerful ally. After all, Sesshomaru had yet to defeat his younger brother in battle, which indicated to Inu Yasha that big brother wasn’t as strong as he was. Of course, Sesshomaru was a lot older now and presumably more powerful, so challenging him at this point would probably be bad. But seeking employment… He decided to bounce the idea off of his buddies just to watch the shock on their faces.
        "I was thinking of asking Sesshomaru for a job," he told them casually.
        Shippo: "That was joke, right?"
        Kagome: "Are you crazy? He hates you!"
        Miroku: "Hisui and Mikoto hate him, too."
        Sango: "That doesn’t make it a good idea."
        Yuki: "But he’s sleeping with Hisui. You’d practically be working for her!"
        Shunusuke: "Especially if they got married, heaven forbid."
        Myouga: "Actually, I think the idea might have merit…"
        All: "WHAT?!"
        Myouga jumped from Inu Yasha’s shoulder to his kneecap so he could get a better view of his audience. "Think about it this way: If Sesshomaru hires Inu Yasha, Hisui would be unlikely to make good on her death threats because it would be a direct insult to Sesshomaru. Mikoto Asano hasn’t made any threats, so he would presumably just accept Inu Yasha’s decision. Also, to anyone who doesn’t know them well, Inu Yasha and Sesshomaru working together seems a perfectly logical thing for them to do, being brothers. Most importantly, however, is the psychological effect such a move would have on our enemies. I think Lord Inu Yasha should try it." He shrugged. "The worst Sesshomaru is likely to do is laugh in his brother’s face and say no."
        "You don’t think he’ll kill Inu Yasha for insolence, or anything like that?" Sango asked suspiciously.
        Myouga thought about it. "No, I don’t think he will. That wouldn’t serve much of a purpose, and it would probably be more gratifying to him to watch Inu Yasha squirm in a pinch between Hisui and Mikoto."
        Now that Myouga mentioned it, Inu Yasha realized that was probably just what Sesshomaru would do. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Inu Yasha smirked to himself. Anyway, he owed his brother a little mind-twisting for that disgusting comment about where he’d found Hisui’s jewel shard.
        "I’ve decided," he announced, pointing a finger to the sky, "I’m going to ask Sesshomaru for a job."
        Kagome checked his forehead for fever. "I knew it, you’re delusional."
        Inu Yasha brushed her hand away with an irritated sigh. "Kagome, I’m doing this for you! If I don’t beat Hisui on this one, she’ll kill your family—and you and the rest of us, too!" He looked away with a hint of pink on his cheeks and added quietly: "Hisui was right: If I plan to stay here with you someday, I’ll need a way to support us, and since the only skills I have involve fighting and killing, bodyguard work is my best option."
        He could feel the astonishment from his companions but Inu Yasha refused to look at any of them, choosing to keep his eyes shut and hope Kagome didn’t say the worst: That she didn’t plan on hanging around with him anymore after they put the jewel back together and killed Naraku. His heart pounded in his chest as the sweat sprang out on his forehead, and his companions remained painfully silent.
        "Oh, Inu Yasha!" Kagome threw herself on top of him in a great, big bear hug and wept for joy on his chest. "Do you really want to stay with me?"
        Inu Yasha hugged her back, his face now a very deep shade of mortified red. Did she have to do this kind of thing in front of people?! "I said I did, didn’t I?!"
        The others watched them be warm and fuzzy with each other for a few moments, then Yuki sighed: "That’s so romantic!"
        Miroku put his arm about her shoulders and nodded. "It certainly is."
        Yuki snuggled closer and put her head on his shoulder with a contented sigh, and Miroku lay his head against hers. Together they watched the sun glisten on the waves, feeling the love in a really big way. Shunusuke glanced at Sango out of the corner of his eye and found she was looking at him, too—but the stiff set of her back sent a clear message: Don’t even think about it. He decided unhappily to keep his hands to himself.

        "You want to work for me?" Sesshomaru chuckled, pointing from Inu Yasha to himself. They sat across a table from each other in a corner of one of the Green Mermaid’s pubs, Inu Yasha with a beer in front of him, Sesshomaru with a Midori and soda. "Is this your big plan to get out of working for Hisui or Mikoto and save your friends?" He ran a long, well-manicured claw around the rim of his glass. "I must admit, you’ve got balls, little brother, and I do admire your ingenuity on this one. I assume you want to do something other than maintenance or clerical?"
        Inu Yasha glared. "I was thinking bodyguard, like what those damn kitsune do for Hisui and Mikoto."
        Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "They’re more than bodyguards, Inu Yasha. You’d need a great deal of training to do what they do—not the least of which involves making you proficient with modern technology and weapons. You’d need to understand modern culture, as well, of course, which will be the most difficult thing to teach, since you haven’t lived through the last four hundred years, as I have." He sipped his drink thoughtfully, studying his half-breed brother with glittering youkai eyes. "You’re not a full demon, but I’m sure I could find a way to use that to my advantage."
        Inu Yasha didn’t think it would be wise at that juncture to tell Sesshomaru that he could very well chose to use the power of the Jewel of Four Souls to become fully human for Kagome’s sake. The possibility of being a full demon was still open to him, of course, but that would mean he’d be immortal, and Kagome wouldn’t. He’d have to watch her grow old and die, and any children they might have would be half-bloods, just as he was now. He wasn’t so sure he could deal with either of those things. Well, regardless, he’d need some way to earn money in this world, and right now Sesshomaru looked like his best bet for employment. Amazingly, his big brother actually seemed to be taking his request seriously. There had to be a catch.
        "Inu Yasha," Sesshomaru was saying with a little smirk, "isn’t this a little humiliating for you, begging for a job in your own ancestral home?"
        He acknowledged their common bloodline?! Inu Yasha was at a loss for words, then Sesshomaru’s comment about how humiliating this should be sunk in and he frowned. "I’m not begging, Sesshomaru, I’m asking. Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I should just say: ‘I’m moving back in, Sesshomaru, prepare my room’. Is that better?"
        The Great Demon of the Western Lands grinned in a very disturbing way. "It’s more worthy of our father’s son, but I’m not our father and I don’t feel I owe you anything. Still, you are my father’s son, so I have two choices now that two other Great Demons are paying such careful attention to me: Treat you better, or kill you."
        "Oh shit," thought Inu Yasha, "here it comes." His claws dug into his palms as his muscles tensed for a fight.
        Sesshomaru flagged down a waiter and ordered Inu Yasha another beer. "You’re more useful to me alive," he told his brother after the waiter left. "Very well, you’re hired. You start immediately. We’ll inform Hisui and Mikoto together." He produced a cell phone from a pouch on his belt and dialed. "Jakan? Call Hisui and Asano, have them meet me in the Starfish Pub to discuss Inu Yasha’s employment situation. Call me if they’re not available." He switched off the phone and lay it on the table with a bland smile for his very stunned younger brother. "I’m feeling a bit peckish. Would you like something to eat?"
        Inu Yasha nodded dumbly.
        "We should discuss your salary requirements and training schedule before Hisui and Mikoto arrive," Sesshomaru went on. The waiter arrived with Inu Yasha’s beer, and Sesshomaru ordered Hot Pot from him. "I assume you haven’t a clue about the value of money in this time, so you can either trust me to be fair or demand a local to advise you. I would not recommend that little Higurashi girl. She looks too young to have ever been in the workforce and she certainly wouldn’t know anything about this line of work."
        Trust Sesshomaru, huh? Well, he wasn’t so sure who else he could trust. He’d call Shunusuke, but he was too close to Mikoto and Hisui. Then again, the guy didn’t seem to be on his family’s side in this affair, so maybe he wasn’t such a bad choice. He did seem to have a good head on his shoulders. Or would it look bad not to trust his new employer, especially since they were related? Shit, he didn’t even know the proper protocol for that! Since Sesshomaru suggested it, Inu Yasha decided it was ok for him to ask for a witness. "Call Shunusuke Asano."
        Sesshomaru handed him the cell phone. "Are you sure? He’s Mikoto’s son and Hisui’s grandson."
        "I know that!" Inu Yasha realized he didn’t know the phone number for the condo. How embarrassing. Fortunately, Sesshomaru knew it and was able to recite it to him. As he dialed and waited for someone to pick up on the other end, Inu Yasha took the opportunity to scowl at his new boss. "So what kind of training do you have in mind? Hello? Kagome? It’s me. Let me talk to Shunusuke." Pause. "I’m hired. I’ll tell you about it later. Get me Shunusuke." Another pause. "Damn Jedi Mind Tricks!"
        He switched off the phone and handed it back across the table to Sesshomaru, who was smiling at him in an odd way. "He’s already on his way over."
        Sesshomaru shook his head. "Is that any way to treat your girlfriend?"
        Inu Yasha looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"
        "I can see we need to work on your manners," Sesshomaru sighed. "You never end a telephone conversation with the woman of your dreams without saying ‘goodbye’ or some other polite phrase that conveys the same thing. Hanging up on someone as you did is very rude. You’ve probably hurt Kagome’s feelings." He pushed the phone across the table. "Push ‘on’, then ‘redial’ and apologize to her for being such a cretin."
        Embarrassed, Inu Yasha did as he was told. As Sesshomaru had said, Kagome was hurt and a bit upset with him for hanging up on her. Yes, indeed, this was a strange and mysterious world with all sorts of weird customs. What in the hell had he gotten himself into?

Chapter 25