"I’m really sorry about this, Lina."
        "Don’t worry about it! You were upset. It’s not your fault you cried all over me. Brrrr!" Lina shivered and wished for the buhzillionth time that she hadn’t loaned Zelgadis her cloak (now destroyed). He’d had undies on, after all, so it wasn’t like he was naked, or anything at the time. Oh well, if she’d had her cloak when Ullan cried on her, it would be soaked through just like the rest of her clothes, and she’d still be cold.
        Ullan unhooked the fastens on his breastplate, took it off, then pulled his shirt over his head and handed it to her. "This’ll keep you warm till I can break mum’s code."
        Lina took it, fearing it would be smelly or something after being on a giant Son of Chaos, post-drinking binge, but it actually smelled kind of nice: Spicy, masculine. Lina stopped that line of thinking right there. She had to tell Ullan the truth about her and Gourry before this date thing went too far. She’d only agreed to it to get him off the battlefield and save her friends, but who could’ve known Ullan the bad-ass Mozuko-Dragon-Human warrior guy would turn out to be such a cupcake? She put on his shirt and was instantly warm. Mmmm…still warm from his body heat! Nice. "Ack! Snap out of it, Inverse!" Lina chided herself. "Uh, Ullan? There’s something I gotta tell you…"
        "You’re in love with the big, blonde haired guy and only agreed to go out with me so I’d leave the battlefield and not kill anybody, right?"
        He wasn’t upset? Or hurt? Didn’t think she was a trollop? "Uh, er, yeah… I still think you’re cute, though," Lina added quickly, "well, ok: Gorgeous. And really nice!"
        Ullan smiled and blushed at her. "Gee, Lina…"
        She giggled. "Do you think you can break Zhara’s wards? I gotta get out of these wet clothes before I catch a—a—ah—ah—CHOO! A cold. *sniffle*"
        He raised an eyebrow at her. "Too late. Don’t worry, Lina, it’s nothing a shot of whiskey can’t fix! And mum’s got plenty of booze, if I remember correctly!"
        Gee, he even talked different! No more the rough and tumble hoolie who sang dirty songs about drinking, raping and pillaging. What was with this guy? "Hey, Ullan?"
        "Yeah?"
        "What happened to your accent?"
        "URK!" Ullan blushed again, cleared his throat, started to say something in his old manner of speaking, then changed his mind.          "You caught me," he took a deep breath and sighed. They arrived at Zhara’s house and stopped on the front doorstep. Ullan put his hand on the doorknob and closed his eyes, his lips moving in a silent incantation. In a few seconds, the door creaked open, and they were inside.
        "Cool!" Lina crowed. Of course, he was Zhara’s flesh and blood, so maybe it wasn’t so surprising that he could break her wards that easily.
        He rolled his eyes. "Mum’s gonna shit a brick when she finds out." Ullan led Lina through the parlor and up the main stairs (not the tiny staircase hidden behind a door that Sylph had led them through when they’d first arrived) and down a long hall that connected with the hallway Lina was used to using. "I assume she put you up in one of these rooms? That’s where guests usually go—I mean, they did when I was around before." He blushed again, and Lina tried not to laugh. He sure was shy for a pillaging Mozuko-type.
        Lina went to her room to change her clothes. Outside the door, Ullan asked: "Can I get you anything?"
        She opened the door a crack and handed him his shirt. "Thanks. I could go for some tea, if it’s not too much trouble."
        Ullan beamed. "No trouble at all! Honey and lemon? For the cold, I mean."
        "Sounds great!"
        He put his shirt on and headed off to make some tea. Lina watched him go with a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling in her tummy. "What a nice guy. I wonder how he got into the pillaging business?" Then she closed the door and went back to changing into something dry.
        Later, as she sat in the downstairs parlor sipping tea with Ullan and toweling her hair dry, Lina asked how her erstwhile enemy had gotten into the business of destroying things. Not unexpectedly, the first thing he did was blush, then he explained: "Well, that Sons of Chaos thing…it’s just these personas we created to make mum happy. We didn’t really wanna get into the family business, but, well…she’s our mum!"
        "So, what did you want to do instead?" Lina asked, then sneezed. Ullan handed her kerchief number three. "Thanks." She tried to be ladylike about blowing her nose, but since delicate little snorts weren’t doing the job, she figured "the hell with it" and gave it a good blow.
        Ullan chuckled. "Good one. Uh, I mean, uh, nevermind. Sorry." He ran a hand through his hair and blushed again. "Me and Zellan. Right. Promise you won’t laugh?"
        Lina nodded emphatically. "Promise."
        "Ok," Ullan took a deep breath. "We wanted to open our own hot springs resort—you know, like the ones on Mipross Island, only here. I would handle all the creative bits, and Zellan would handle the business end. We had it all planned out!" He grinned, gaining confidence, since Lina really seemed interested and nowhere near mocking him for his dream. "I, uh, really want to be a hairdresser. I figured I could have my own salon at the resort—I’d offer other beauty treatments, too!"
        Lina grinned. "Really?! A resort?! That is so cool!"
        "You really think it’s cool, Lina? Really?"
        "Yeah! I can even recommend a friend of mine if you need an advisor on hot springs," Lina’s grin got even wider as she imagined her old traveling partner Naga of the enormous breasts and tiny bikini’s (and infinite hot springs expertise) hooked up with the Sons of Chaos in a business venture. "Her name’s Naga. Naga the White Serpent. She’s a sorceress and the best expert on hot springs anywhere! I went to Mipross Island with her once, and she could actually tell by smelling and tasting the water where the mix came from and what percentage it was blended at. She’s that good."
        "Wow!" Ullan was awed. His face lit up with hope, then abruptly fell. "Mum won’t let us—"
        "You’re, what? More than a thousand years old?" Lina argued, took a moment to sneeze and blow her nose again, then continued. "I think you’re old enough to decide your own destiny, Ullan." When he didn’t look convinced, she growled: "Don’t be such a pansy!"
        Ullan’s eyes got shiny at that, and Lina instantly regretted saying it. He was so sensitive! No wonder Zhara was able to push him around. She wondered if Zellan was anything like his brother, then remembered how he’d made fun of Ullan for wanting Lina to go out with him and figured she wouldn’t like him as much. Seemed like a bit of a bully to her. Or maybe that was just that sibling dynamic she hated so much between herself and her sister Luna.
        "I wasn’t being mean," she apologized, "I just meant, you’re an adult, so you should stand up for what you really want. Unless you like this Sons of Chaos racket you’ve got going?"
        He shook his head and sighed. "I hate it. I hate killing people and burning villages! I don’t think it’s right. Zellan can deal with it better than I can, but he’s more like mum. I think I got a lot of grandmother in me—she’s a dragon."
        "Yeah, I know," Lina smiled at him, liking him more and more with everything he said. "I really think you should stand up for yourself, though. She’s your mother, she loves you, so even if she’s unhappy at first, I’ll bet she’ll be your first and best customer!"
        Another blush. "You’re even cooler than I thought you’d be, Lina."
        Now why couldn’t Gourry say stuff like that? All she got out of him was how under-endowed she was, or that she was a glutton (oh, like he wasn’t), or couldn’t dress, or something like that. So far, Ullan had told her she was pretty and really cool. (Of course, she could be a lot nicer to Gourry, too.) "You’re a lot nicer than I thought you’d be, Ullan."
        "Well, I was sort of threatening to kill you before…"
        They laughed, quaffed more tea and generally had a delightful time until Zhara and the others showed up. They were not laughing, not at all. In fact, Lina thought they looked a little glum for a group who’d just gotten out of being annihilated. Zhara had a white-haired young man she assumed was Zellan on her arm (whoa, he was gorgeous, too), Urlich and Sylph were right behind them, followed by Amelia and Zelgadis, Xellos and Zellas Metallium, then Gourry bringing up the rear. Zhara and Sylph were crying, and the men on their arms were trying to comfort them. Zelgadis and Amelia looked pretty somber considering the dire fates they’d escaped. Xellos and Zellas looked unusually glum, as well. Gourry was just plain pissed and seeing Lina and Ullan enjoying a nice pot of tea together didn’t help any.
        Lina decided to nip that problem in the bud. Her words spilled out in a hyper-fast tumble: "Gourry, it’s ok. It’s not a date, Ullan doesn’t think it’s a date—he knows I was just getting him off the battlefield, so he wouldn’t kill you guys, only he doesn’t like killing people and really just wants to open a hot springs resort, don’t you think that’s cool, Gourry, where’s Jaz?" Lina finally realized the vampire was missing. The looks on everyone’s faces when she asked about her explained a lot.
        "She’s gone," Urlich said in a voice that closed the subject right then and there.
        Lina gulped. "Oh. I’m sorry—"
        "Got any more of that tea, son?" Zhara asked Ullan as she collapsed into the chair next to his. Zellan sat down by Lina and lifted the lid on the teapot to check its contents. Finding it was nearly empty, he said he’d brew more, took the pot and left.
Okay, we’re not talking about Jaz. Period. Lina sat back and sipped her tea. "Gourry, sit down." She patted the place next to her that Zellan had just vacated. He sulked but obeyed. "I told you—"
        "That really hurt, Lina."
        "So what was I supposed to do? Let him keep attacking?" She turned to Ullan: "Wouldn’t you have just kept attacking?"
        He looked nervously from Gourry to Lina and nodded. "Oh, yeah, sure. Absolutely. I’d still be going after you guys if it wasn’t for Lina."
        Pause.
        Gourry said: "You’re not a very good liar, Ullan."
        "I’m not a very good Mozuko, either."
        Lina waited for Zhara’s reaction to that, waited for her to dispute Ullan’s ability to be a contributing member of the family business, but Zhara was off in her own little world, staring with empty eyes at the ceiling. What had happened with Jaz, she wondered? Beast Master said she’d restored Jaz’s memories. Were they too much for the vampire to bear? Lina tried to imagine losing all of her power and thinking she was going to die, then somebody changing her into something else and making her forget everything—then remembering it all in an instant. In Jaz’s place, she’d hate Zhara. Well, in light of that, it wasn’t all that surprising that she’d left.
        "Do you really want to open a hot springs resort?" Amelia asked, sitting down in the side chair Zelgadis pulled up for her from one of the far walls. He got another for himself. Urlich and Sylph found their own and sat as near to Zhara as they could, each one holding one of her trembling, pale hands. Ullan offered his chair to Beast Master, then knelt at his mother’s feet and lay his head on her knee, for all the world like a little boy. He didn’t answer Amelia’s question. Embarrassed, Amelia took to looking around the room instead.
        "I’m sorry, mummy," Ullan said with a sniffled, "it’s all my fault. If we hadn’t taken Zeris’ challenge, then there wouldn’t have been a fight, and Jessica would be ok now."
        Zhara blinked. She freed her hand from Sylph’s and stroked her son’s hair. "It’s not your fault, Ullan. It’s L-Sama’s fault. If she wanted Xellos dead, she should’ve just done it herself, not involved you kids."
        Ullan’s fingers tightened around her leg as he cried. "I wish I knew why she was doing this to us," he sobbed quietly, then sat in silence and let his mother play with his hair.
        "I shouldn’t have pushed you into this business," Zhara sighed. "I know you boys hated the idea, but…well, we have this reputation. In retrospect, that was a stupid reason to force my children to kill when they thought it was wrong." She shrugged. "I got a lot of your grandfather in me, Ullan. I’m sorry."
        Xellos bit his lip and looked away, wisely refraining from making a cute comment about how being like him wasn’t anything to be sorry about. Lina figured he should be happy Zhara was actually acknowledging him for once. Beast Master wandered off in the direction Zellan had taken, and nobody stopped her, though Xellos watched her go.
        Out in the kitchen, the water was just boiling, and Zellan was pouring it over tea leaves in the pot. He looked up briefly when Zellas walked in, then concentrated on his task.
        Beast Master took a big sniff and smiled. "I love the smell of fresh-brewed tea! It’s so cheerful, don’t you think?"
        "Yippee-skip."
        She frowned. "Ok, I’ll cut to the chase, then: What do you mean, you want out of the family business?"
        Zellan put the lid on the tea pot a little harder than necessary and set it amidst the cups and saucers on a large bamboo tray. He picked up the tray and made a point of bumping Zellas in the shoulder on his way to the door. "This isn’t a good time to discuss it, Zellas."
        She jumped in front of him. "Ok, then let’s discuss something else. Let’s talk about us, Zellan. We had a thing, and then you take a job to kill my favorite minion."
        He closed his eyes and sighed. "Your ‘favorite minion’ took a job to kill me, remember? And if you didn’t notice, Ullan and I had no real intention of killing grandad, or anybody else. But it’s been eight hundred years, Zellas. Kinda hard to just pick up where we left off after that long, don’t you think?"
        Zellan tried to get around her, but she wouldn’t budge. "I want to pick up where we left off. Are you saying you don’t?"
        "I’m saying I can’t think about that right now!" He snapped back. "I’m a lot more concerned about my mother. Now get out of my way, please, and let me bring her the tea she asked for! We can discuss us later."
        "Make it a promise, and I’ll let you pass," she said sweetly.
        Zellan rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Incorrigible. I promise."
        She stepped aside and followed him back into the parlor, grinning smugly to herself. The only thing that could ruin her mood now was if L-Sama showed up to do the job the former Sons of Chaos refused to do. (Maybe that’s what they could call their spa: Sons of Chaos Hot Springs. Nah. Didn’t have a good marketing hook to it.) She imagined Zellan giving her a full-body mud pack, his strong hands smoothing the herbed mud onto her skin… If L-Sama would just give up her little crusade against Xellos, Zellas’ nice dreams could come true! What was her problem, anyway? Xellos was Mr. Secrets, always had been—why get all bent out of shape about it now? Ok, eight hundred years ago, but the Lord of Nightmares had had all that time to devise a way to kill him between then and now and hadn’t tried anything! Unless that business with Phribrizio was supposed to have gone differently…and with Dark Star… hmmm. "I wonder what secret in particular has got her almighty panties in a such a nasty bunch?" She decided it was time to quiz her servant on the matter, so after she’d got herself and him all nice and settled with steaming cups of tea on their knees, she asked the million gold piece question:
        "So, Xel," she began casually, "I think it’s time you came clean about your little problem with L-Sama. It is my humble opinion that you know a secret she doesn’t want you to have. Am I close?"
        Xellos choked on a mouthful of tea and had to cough for a while before even trying to answer her. By the time he recovered, every eye in the room was on him, except for his master, who was delicately sipping tea with her well-manicured pinky extended. She said: "You’ve already got a death sentence on you, Xel, so you just as well spill it."
        He gulped. "There are worse things than death, you know."
        Beast Master showed him all of her fangs and let her eyes go lupine, just for effect. Xellos gulped again. "Of course there are, dear," Zellas said in very sweet voice, "and I’ll be more than happy to demonstrate a few of them for you if you don’t answer the question."
        Xellos bowed his head and sighed. "She had an affair with Lei Magnus which produced a child. The child is the secret. There. That’s it. I hope you’re happy, Boss, because now that everybody in this room knows it, L-Sama won’t let any of you live, either."
        "Bullshit." Unflustered, Zellas continued to drink tea with a charming expression on her face. "You mean the Red Priest’s grandmother? That child? Everyone knows about her. That can’t be the secret, Xellos, try another one."
        "Wait a minute!" Zelgadis interrupted, not believing his ears. That would explain so much: Why she cared what happened to him, why she let him create a new body for his spirit, why she didn’t just make him stay dead… "I’m her descendant! I’m related to…*gulp*…god."
        Xellos, his boss and his relatives all rolled their eyes at that declaration. Amelia looked upon the object of her affection with wide, worshipful eyes. Gourry’s and Lina’s jaws dropped. Lina said: "No way! So Rezo not only hosted a part of Shabranigdo, he was also related to the Lord of Nightmares?! That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever."
        "Truth is stranger than fiction," Beast Master quipped. "I never understood what she saw in him, personally. I mean, he was gorgeous, but he hosted Shabranigdo. I never understood the allure for her."
        "Maybe that was the allure," Zelgadis theorized. "What if she thought she could end Shabranigdo right there? No, wait, that’s not right. A piece was still sealed in—" All of a sudden, Zel had a major epiphany. "Shabranigdo made a back-up…she was doing the same thing! She wanted to make someone who would balance that thing I was going to become! It makes so much sense! We would’ve been the next generation of powers in this world, only L-Sama sucked that spirit out of me! Does that mean I’m her back up now?" He looked with wide, astonished eyes at Xellos and his master for confirmation and got nonchalant shrugs in response. He frowned: "Well, I’d think that would merit a little more excitement…"
        "Whatever," yawned Beast Master. "What does it have to do with Xellos’ current predicament?" She turned to her minion, who was busy staring into the depths of his teacup. "Cough up the secret, Xel. Is it the girl? Saiya? Do you know what’s become of her? Is that the big secret?"
        His shoulders slumped. "She’s dead. Shabranigdo ordered me to kill her, and I did."
        Hollow silence followed his confession. Even Beast Master was stunned and actually set her teacup and saucer on the coffee table to give him 100% of her attention. She lay a hand on his arm, forcing him to look into her face. "Xel… why? I thought you and Saiya…?"
        He looked away with a little shrug. "That was supposed to be a secret." He sighed. "We were over by the time I got the order from Shabranigdo. I was still angry with her, so killing her didn’t hurt too much."
        "Oh, gods," Zelgadis gasped, "please tell me we’re not related."
        "I thought you already were?" Gourry asked and pointed at Zhara. "Through her," then at Ullan and Zellan in turn, "through one of them."
        Zellan shook his head. "Not through me. I don’t have any kids that I know about."
        Ullan shrugged. "I had three kids. Dunno what happened to them, though. Their mother was mortal, but I got sealed up before I found out if they were, too." He looked to his other relatives to see if they knew.
        Urlich said: "Two mortal, one immortal, but the immortal died in Phibrizio’s service about five hundred years ago. No kids for him. The other two had kids, but I lost track of them after four or five generations. Zhara?"
        "I think Zel’s mother is descended from Ullan’s daughter Kirin."
        That didn’t make Zelgadis feel better at all, since it meant he was related to Xellos twice, not to mention that added bonus of genetic material he got with that lock of hair the Trickster had put into the copy machine with Zelgadis’ hair. "Great. Wonderful. So what am I now? The Lord of Trickster Shabranigdo Nightmares Priest?"
        Everybody blinked at him, then Xellos sort of snickered a little, which made Zellas laugh. Amelia gave Zel a very strange look. "You’re kind of weird since you got a new body, Zel. I don’t mean to be judgmental, or anything, but your sense of humor has become sort of…Xellos-y."
        "That’s mean, Amelia!" Gourry scolded her. "You’re just saying that ‘cause Xellos put some of his hair in the copy machine with Zel’s! Zel said he didn’t feel any different, right, Zel?"
        Zelgadis nodded, then sort of shrugged. "Well, a little different, but not a lot. I think I’m more powerful."
        "And have a sense of humor," Ulrich teased. "I don’t know if I can deal with you having a sense of humor, Stone Boy."
        "What ‘deal’?" Zelgadis shot back. "This is the most time you’ve ever spent with me!"
        Sylph made a time out sign with her hands to shut them up, then asked Xellos: "So, you’re saying she wants you dead because she found out you killed her daughter?"
        Xellos coughed. "And any of her children I could track down."
        Gasps all around.
        "Only, I missed one," he admitted sheepishly. "Shabranigdo wanted Rezo spared for reasons that became clear when it was discovered he was carrying a piece of the Dark Lord in his eyes. Self preservation, I suppose."
        Lina growled: "Boy, you’re just The Exterminator, aren’t you? First the dragons, now L-Sama’s children!" She slammed down her teacup. "Are you nuts?!"
        "I think we’ve already established that," Zelgadis muttered under his breath and got dirty looks from Lina and Xellos.
        "This isn’t funny, Zel!" Lina all but shouted at her old friend. Amelia’s observation was starting to sound more and more on the money every time Zelgadis opened his mouth.
        Zellan buried his face in his hands and asked through his fingers: "Grandad, exactly what possessed you to cross the Lord of Nightmares?"
        "Same thing as possessed you?" Xellos retorted. "It was her family or mine. I picked mine. Anyone here think that was a stupid idea, please speak now while I’m still alive to hear your objections."   
        No one objected, but Zhara had a question: "Where did we come into it?"
        Xellos set his cup down on the table and leaned over to pick up the pot and pour himself another cup. He then poured a little honey into it and stirred it, the silver spoon making little clinking noises against the china. It was that dragon tea service Zhara had used when Lina, Gourry and Amelia had first arrived. Xellos’ cup had a red dragon on it. Finally, he sat back and took a sip, his eyes closed, savoring the flavor and enjoying the fragrant steam on his face. "If I didn’t obey, Shabranigdo would have killed you and Urlich and Zellan and Ullan and Zeris. Even Sylph. And your mother." He met his daughter’s eyes with a sharp look. "You may not believe this—and I know she never would—but I actually love your mother in my own way, just as I love you." He paused, then looked at Zelgadis. "That was your cue to make a stupid crack about my sanity, Zelgadis. You’re already losing your touch."
        "As are you," Beast Master drawled. "Going all human on me, are you, Xel?" She sighed prettily, not looking at all unhappy with him. "I told you having a family would give you a weakness, but no! You thought it would be fun. And making a dragon bear your young would be a nice bit of icing on your victory cake after killing most of her people. Xel, Xel, Xel… I tried to tell you—"
        "Shut up, Zellas," Xellos told her abruptly. "What’s done is done, and I regret nothing. Kill me for my insolence, I don’t bloody give a damn anymore."
        Beast Master sputtered her outrage, raised a hand with a nasty little spell in it, changed her mind and powered down. Nobody flinched, especially not Xellos. She folded her hands in her lap with an embarrassed look, then collected her pride a little. "When did you kill them?"
        "When do you think? Right before she cooked up her little scheme to have my own grandsons kill me." Xellos downed the rest of his tea in a single gulp. "Pretty appropriate, if you ask me. Nice touch."
        Zellas put her teacup down again and reached over and took Xellos’ away, too. Then she took both of his hands in hers and squeezed. "I won’t let her get away with whatever she’s planning for you, Xellos. You’re my favorite… I won’t let her do this."
        Still can’t say you care, Xellos thought sourly. That would’ve been nice to hear but perhaps too much to hope for from a woman who had never been anything but Mozuko and was usually an animal of some kind. Still, the hand holding thing was close to caring, wasn’t it? Was it her own pride and reputation that made her determined to save him? That would be typical.
        Her gentle touch on his face startled him. "Xel? Are you crying?"

        The Lord of Nightmares intercepted Jaz just as she was leaving the Plain of Despair. The vampire walked straight up to her with a cold, determined, deadly set to her face and an overload of rage and pain in her eyes. Her fists were clenched tightly at her sides and trembled a little as she stood and locked gazes with L-Sama. "Why?"
        L-Sama blew smoke in her face, but Jaz didn’t sneeze. Vampires don’t breathe. "Why what?"
        "This is your fault!" Jaz raged. "Why did you set Xellos against Ullan and Zellan that time?! Why?! Why didn’t you kill him yourself?"
        "I can give you back your proper form and power," L-Sama said with another casual drag on her cigarette. "Just say the word, and it’s yours."
        That wasn’t the answer Jaz had expected. She didn’t know what she expected, but the offer of her dreams wasn’t it. There had to be a hitch. "What’s the catch?"
        The Lord of Nightmares smiled most unpleasantly. "Finish the job."