Some day you'll thank me for all this scary love. - Homer Simpson

        Lina sat at the desk in Zelgadis’ room, crystal ball in hand, and concentrated her energies on Zhara Metallium. She was eager for news of Naga and that hot springs spa she was supposed to start with Xellos’ grandsons Ullan and Zellan in Marrigan. She hated the idea of hooking up anybody as sweet as those two boys with the world’s most irritating, conceited, fashion-challenged sorceress, but even Lina had to admit Naga was an expert on hot springs. In fact, Naga the White Serpent had no equal on that count. She could tell the ingredients of a spring just by smelling and tasting it and had an encyclopedic knowledge of the world’s finest spas. If Ullan and Zellan wanted their spa to be world-class, Naga would be the best thing to ever happen to them. If they didn’t kill her first. Lina had contacted Naga via crystal ball as soon as they’d reached Seyruun, and the curvaceous sorceress had been all gung ho to get to Marrigan and launch the new resort (which Naga assured Lina would be the finest in the world, thanks to her role in its development). Time to check in with Zhara to see if her sons had met Naga yet, and if they had, would they ever be able to forgive Lina for it.
        Lina’s concentration on her spell wasn’t helped any by the fact that Gourry and Zel were so comfortable with her after years of traveling together that they didn’t think anything of wandering around the room with nothing more than towels wrapped around themselves. Now Lina could understand Gourry not being modest around her, but Zel doing it was a bit much. Anyway, it wasn’t like the usually insecure chimera to strut around half naked in front of a girl, even a girl who was involved with one of his closest friends (if Zelgadis would ever admit to being close friends with anybody). Lina could only surmise that Zel had the munchies again and was trying to pick an argument with her.
        "Zel," she muttered under her breath, still trying to keep her mind on contacting Zhara in Marrigan, "I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t try to feed off of us."
        He stopped behind her chair and put his hands on her shoulders as he replied in an innocent voice: "What are you talking about, Lina? I’m not doing anything."
        "Since when do you run around half naked in front of a girl?" Lina shot back. White mist swirled inside the crystal, which meant Zhara had noticed someone was trying to get in touch with her and was charging her own crystal with magical energy. "You’re only trying to embarrass me so I’ll get mad and give you a snack. Well, it’s not gonna happen, so knock it off."
        Zelgadis did that annoying Xellos giggle that always raised the hairs on the back of Lina’s neck. "You’re imagining things…"
        "I’m not imagining you in a towel!" Lina growled as Zhara’s image became clear inside the crystal.
        Xellos’ horned, half-dragon daughter got one look at what was hanging around in the room with Lina, and her eyes bugged a little before she settled into a mildly amused chuckle. "What’s wrong, Lina? Can’t decide between them?" She joked, and Lina’s face turned bright red.
        While Lina searched her brain for a really searing come back, Gourry decided now was a good time to polish his magical replacement sword, which he’d named unimaginatively The Sword of Light. They’d tried to talk him out of buying a magic sword from some traveling vendor who couldn’t tell them anything about the blade, but that had done them no good at all. The sword in question looked so much like his old sword that Gourry had declared it was fated to be his. Lina had nothing against magical weapons. She’d used a few herself and had spent years begging for the real Sword of Light before Dark Star’s minions had commandeered it to keep their Lord from reentering the world. However, they knew nothing about the peddler (seedy peddler, in all but Gourry’s eyes) who just happened to cross paths with them just outside of Marrigan. In fact, the old man had claimed to have just come from Marrigan, himself, and that the sword had been made in that (wondrous, he called it) city. That had been the extent of his information about the sword. Having just spent a few less-than-wondrous days in Marrigan, Lina for one wasn’t eager to carry away a souvenir other than the one Zelgadis had had forced upon him by Xellos. But Gourry had said he’d been feeling pretty naked without his "real sword" (rather than the non-magical imitation Amelia had procured for him in Seyruun before that whole Dr. Sorez thing had come up). Furthermore, wasn’t it just too cool that this sword was magic and actually glowed? Next to the real Sword of Light, which was gone for good, a magical look-alike was ok by him. Anyway, it was his money, so Gourry bought it. Lina was still waiting for it to explode or something.
        Anyhow, he was polishing it in plain view of Zhara through the crystal ball, and she seemed mighty fascinated by the whole process, as if she’d never seen anyone do sword maintenance before. That was highly unlikely, considering her twin brother Urlich’s passion for sharp edged weapons. Therefore, Lina decided either Zhara was mistaking it for the real Sword of Light, or she knew what sword it was and couldn’t believe Gourry was being so casual with it (again with the fear of explosion).
        "Where did you get that sword, Gourry?" She asked curiously.
        Gourry was more than happy to show off his prize to someone who didn’t seem inclined to give him a hard time about it. He proudly set it on the desk in front of the crystal ball, then was told to pick it up again and hold it where Zhara could see it. Slightly deflated, he did as he was told.
        "Let’s see the hilt," Zhara ordered, "bring it up close. Ah. Uh-huh. Hmmm… I wondered what had become of that thing."
        "You recognize that sword?" The astonished Lina and Zelgadis asked at the same time. Then Lina added suspiciously: "It wasn’t stolen from Url, or anything, was it?"
        Zhara shook her head and got a distant look in her eyes as she took a little trip down memory lane. "It belonged to one of my first creatures, a warrior-priest named Dolgan Feitt. I made the sword for him, as well as a number of other magical items I’ve since recovered. He was killed in the War of the Monster’s Resurrection a thousand years ago, when everything went nuts for a while." She waved a hand that sparkled with a rainbow of jewels, as if the chaos in the world when Shabranigdo was reborn was no big deal. "We had trolls and goblins all over the place, along with lesser demons and low-level Mazoku, even after that piece of Shabranigdo was destroyed. Feitt was very powerful," she sighed sadly, "I’ve missed him." Then she perked up and grinned: "It’s good to see his sword in action again. Use it well, Gabriev. As it’s creator, I’ll take it back if you dishonor it, but, since you are the former Swordsman of Light, I suppose you can be trusted to respect Feitt’s blade. So!" She clapped her hands together sharply. "Do you know it’s name, or did you give it one of your own?"
        Lina and Zelgadis groaned. Even Gourry didn’t seem quite as proud of the name he’d picked. "Um, well, since it looks so much like the Sword of Light, I, um, just sort of called it, um," Gourry stammered and coughed, then spit out: "I called it the Sword of Light."
        Silence, then Zhara said flatly: "You must be joking."
        Gourry hung his head. Lina and Zel looked anywhere but at the crystal ball.
        Zhara sighed. "You’re not joking. Gourry, that name is unacceptable. That sword is nothing like the Sword of Light! So it glows, big deal, that doesn’t mean it has the same properties! Don’t you have any imagination?"
       Three voices replied: "Not really."
        Very sheepishly, Gourry told her: "Well, the guy who sold it to us didn’t think it had a name, so I just, um, gave it the first one that came to mind."
        She rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. "It’s called Firedrake, because I made it from the fang of an ancient drake. Have you been able to learn any of its properties?"
        Gourry shrugged. "It glows when I’m mad."
        "When—" Zhara hesitated. "When you’re mad? Is your anger directed at someone or something when the sword glows? I’m not sure I understand you."
        "When I think something’s wrong," Gourry explained with an embarrassed shrug. He hoped she wouldn’t get mad and take his new sword away. How totally cool that it had a storied past. "You know, like, um, I kinda hate to sound like Princess Amelia, but when I think whatever’s going on is unjust. Like if somebody’s being bullied—stuff like that. I haven’t gone into any battles yet, so I don’t know what else sets it off."
        Zhara considered that quietly for a few moments, seeming to consider whether or not to let him keep Firedrake, then she nodded to herself as if coming to a decision. "Ok, you can keep it. I have Feitt’s old journals here. I’ll copy the helpful bits and send them to you. Are you going to be in Seyruun long?"
        Lina nodded. "We’ve discovered something really strange in Dr. Sorez’ tomb," she began, then paused and changed direction, "but I wanted to ask you before I forget: Did Naga ever get there? I sent the message three days ago, and I know she wasn’t that far away from Marrigan."
        "I don’t know," Zhara replied thoughtfully, "what does she look like?"
        "Tall; long, black hair; always wears an indecently-tiny black leather bikini; great, big breasts; spine quaking cackle. You can’t miss the cackle. It’ll curdle your blood."
        Zhara shook her head. "Nobody like that in Marrigan yet. I’ll keep my eyes open, though. Sorceress?"
        "She thinks so," Lina muttered, then added more loudly: "Yeah, she’s a sorceress."
        "Anyway," Zelgadis interrupted, "we found these weird hieroglyphs—"
        "—and a painting of that battle between Seified and Shabranigdo," Lina broke in, "the one at the beginning of the world. It gave Amelia really bizarre visions." Lina proceeded to brief Zhara on the Princess’ visions, hoping the older woman might have some insight to offer. She was about to bring Lita Sorez into the story, when Zhara interrupted.
        "Can you describe the hieroglyphs in more detail?"
        Zelgadis started to but felt like he was slurring his words. The others were certainly looking at him strangely. Then his eyes lost focus, and his legs started to feel like rubber, forcing him to hang onto the back of Lina’s chair to stay upright. Soon, he lost that battle and crumpled to the carpet. As he blacked out, he saw Gourry go down, as well.
        Lina’s head was swimming. She saw Gourry and Zelgadis pass out and felt the sleep spell that had gotten them. It was Mazoku…felt like…like… "Xellos," she whispered to Zhara, still trying to fight the spell, "he’s here. Sleep spell. Oh gods," the room went dark, but she battled her way back to consciousness long enough to gasp Amelia’s name.
        "Lina! Lina!" Zhara shouted through the crystal, to no avail. She waited, frantically searching the room, expecting her father to appear at any moment (and when he did, he would be in big trouble). But Xellos didn’t appear, so Zhara let her spell fade away as she ran from her room to find her brother.

        Princess Amelia was having a very nice dream. She was picnicking with her friends, including a human Zelgadis and her father Prince Phileonel. The sun shone brightly in the clear, blue sky and filtered through the branches of the great oak tree under which they’d spread their blanket. They munched on sandwiches and fruit, while sipping fruit juice and wine and had a lovely time laughing and chatting together. It was a very pleasant dream, indeed, until Xellos appeared in a crook of a tree branch and started dropping acorns onto their heads for fun. The acorns turned into trolls when they hit the ground, and soon there were dozens of them, too many for Gourry’s sword and Phil’s fists. Amelia, Lina and Zelgadis found to their horror that they couldn’t use magic. Xellos, of course, was greatly amused by that and threw down more acorns to unbalance the odds even worse. Soon the only ones left standing were Amelia and the Trolls, then the Trolls turned back into acorns, and all that was left was the ruined picnic and the bodies of the only people Amelia really cared about.
        Xellos hopped out of the tree with a satisfied giggle and gave Zelgadis’ body a kick. "Oh, dear," he said with no shame at all, "I seem to have arranged for Zelgadis to die again. And the rest of them, too." He knelt beside Lina’s body and placed a soft kiss on her lips, then turned a wicked smile on Amelia, who found she was unable to move or speak. "Lina was supposed to be mine, you know, but then she met the idiot of her dreams and that was that. Ah well. Nothing a little murder couldn’t solve."
        He pulled Gourry’s sword from under the big blonde’s body and squinted at it. "Hm. Looks a lot like the original. Sentimental fool." He threw the sword onto the ground again with a disgusted snort. "Probably calls it The Sword of Light, too. No imagination…"
        Amelia watched in abject revulsion, as Xellos walked past her and trailed his fingers along her jaw. He removed his cloak and spread it on the ground, then peeled off his gloves and tossed them, along with his staff, onto the grass next to his cloak. With an evil grin, he motioned with his finger for the Princess to come close. Though her entire being screamed at her to fight him, Amelia found she couldn’t stop her legs from moving, carrying her around her father’s body to stand in front of Xellos. "Don’t you have any other clothes?" He asked her, going over her usual ensemble with a critical eye. "You’re a Princess. I always thought royalty had an outfit for every occasion." Then his grin returned, and he added cheerfully: "Well, you won’t need those for a while, anyway, so off they come!"
        And they did, garment by garment, peeled off her body like layers of an onion until they were all in a pile behind her and there was nothing left, not even her boots. Xellos walked around her, drinking in her rage and terror, her aching need to avenge her fallen friends by ripping him apart with her bare hands. Delicious. Then he was before her again, giggling, watching her with his evil gaze. "Your turn," he told her in a rough voice and snapped his fingers.
        Tears poured down Amelia’s face as her hands defied her will and undressed the Trickster, who amused himself by nibbling on her shoulder while she worked. She undid the ties on his pants and--
        Amelia awoke with a tearful, stone-shattering scream to find Xellos perched on the edge of her bed, cleaning under his fingernails with a metal file, an utterly bored expression on his face. A tiny, wicked smirk crept onto his lips but he didn’t look at her, just enjoyed the moment and waited for her to realize no one was responding to her scream. I didn’t take her very long.
        She threw off the coverlet, but didn’t get any farther. Xellos’ supernaturally strong hand latched onto her ankle and yanked her back onto the bed, face flat into the sheets. "Let me go!"
        "Pleasant dreams?" He asked innocently, and she froze. "No? Hmmm… I guess I’ll just have to try it again. Nitey-nite, Princess."
        Amelia’s eyes flew wide with fear, then drooped shut. Her whole body went limp as sleep overtook her, and she found herself back in the same dream, right where it had left off. No! She had to wake up! He pushed her to her knees, his fingers tearing at her hair. "NOOOOO!"
        Again she awoke in a cold sweat, screaming at the top of her lungs. She was still on her belly with Xellos’ hand around her ankle. His other hand was busy tickling the back of her knee. She twisted onto her back and planted her free heel into his crotch. "Take that, you pervert!"
        Xellos cringed ever so slightly, then a euphoric smile came to his face. "Ah…pain…do that again!"
        Gulp. Amelia struggled to free her ankle from his grasp, but it was like his fingers were welded onto her flesh. Then suddenly, she lay perfectly still. "Think happy thoughts," she coached herself. "He likes pain and suffering and fear—all those horrible, dark emotions. Give him sunshine!" The Princess closed her eyes and thought very happy thoughts. She conjured memories of playing Warrior of Justice with her daddy in the palace gardens, smiled as she remembered his booming laughter when she defeated a statue. She thought about Lina kicking Mazoku ass and grinned. Then they were all having a laugh at Gourry’s lack of imagination for naming his new magic sword The Sword of Light, just like the one Dark Star’s minions had taken from him months before. Gourry’s feelings had been hurt, but Amelia understood that Lina had made him feel a lot better later.
        Xellos frowned. "Do you really think that will work?" He got into her memories and changed them from happy to terrifying. Little Amelia ran her father through with her tiny sword and killed him. Gourry killed them all for mocking him one time too many. A new piece of Shabranigdo proved too much for Lina Inverse’s power and smashed the sorceress under his mighty thumb.
        Not to be outdone, Amelia imagined that was merely an illusion of Lina, not the real one, and the real Lina snuck up behind Shabranigdo and Giga Slaved him into oblivion. Phil wasn’t really dead, it was just fake blood he used to teach Amelia not to be afraid of a little blood, since true Warriors of Justice sometimes had to deal with such unpleasantness. Gourry’s swing actually missed, and they all laughed at his joke.
        Xellos’ eyebrow twitched in frustration. So, little Miss Sunshine thought she could win a war of wills with Beast Master’s most powerful servant? This mere human actually thought she could stand on the same playing field with him?! Ha! Time to bring out the big armaments. This was fun! He laid on the magic and sent her back into his fantasy where she was just getting his pants over his hips.
        Amelia retaliated by head butting him between his legs.
        Xellos gasped and begged her to do it again.
        She imagined he was a great, big, yummy ice cream cone, then rubbed him into the grass with much delight.
        He appeared behind her, grabbed her by the ankles, hung her upside down and shook her till she couldn’t see straight, then went back to his regularly scheduled raping.
        Amelia fantasized that his manhood disappeared straight off his body. Not to be outdone, Xellos imagined it appearing on hers. Amelia turned it into a snake that fell off and slithered away into the grass for a few feet, then turned into a flower. Then she turned Xellos into a great, big, cheerful daisy. He turned her into a bee that could do nothing but fly straight into his very center to find some pollen. Then he changed them both back into themselves, and they fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs, with him on top, grinning and giggling with glee.
        That is until he realized Amelia had resurrected her friends and restored their magical powers, and that said friends were poised to stab and zap him to death. He turned them into flowers. Amelia turned them back. He turned them into statues. Amelia turned them back. He made them disappear. Amelia made him disappear, then opened her eyes, only to find him still lounging on her bed with a solid grip on her ankle.
        "That was fantastic, Princess!" He cheered and gave her ankle a happy squeeze. "I especially like that bit with the snake. Great metaphor, that."
        Amelia wept. This was hopeless! He was getting off on everything she did. (And still no one was coming to the rescue, damn him.) She realized he’d always have the upper hand because there was no way she’d ever enjoy being touched by him, much less having him do anything else with her. So every time he pulled sex into it, she’d get scared, angry or sick (or all of the above), which was exactly what he wanted.
        …and just what in the bloody hell was he doing with his other hand?!
        "No more playing, Princess," Xellos drawled with a lazy smile. His other hand was feeling up her leg. "It’ll only hurt more if you struggle, so just lie still, ok?"
        Like hell she’d lie still! Amelia screamed and kicked, only to be picked up and thrown back down onto the bed. Xellos tore off his cloak, his gloves, his boots and threw them all, along with his staff, against the wall under the window. Amelia ripped out chunks of his hair and punished his stomach with her heels, all the while praying and willing someone—anyone—to come through that door and rescue her. She tried to chant a fire spell, but he covered her mouth with his lips and pinned her down, hand to hand, foot to foot in an unfortunate bit of deja vu from Zelgadis’ earlier attack.
        Suddenly, Xellos screamed and jumped off the bed and onto a crouch by the window, the ornate hilt of a very expensive dagger sticking out of his side. He pulled it out with a snarl, flipped it into a throwing position in his hand and summoned his staff into his other hand while he scanned the dim room for his attacker with both mundane and supernatural senses. The morning sun was just starting to stain the horizon in shades of pink, but it’s light wasn’t enough to illuminate the big bedroom through the window’s heavy curtains. Just as Xellos got a fix on the identity of his attacker, a quick movement and rustle of sheets drew his aim in the direction of the bed. The knife whistled through the air and stuck into a pillow where Amelia’s head had been just seconds before.
        All at once, the room flooded with light from dozens of will o’ the wisps that darted about near the ceiling and gathered around the small, gilded chandelier. In the middle of the room stood a grim-faced Urlich, rapier in one hand, his other arm wrapped around Amelia’s waist as she clung to him and sobbed into his shoulder. Url waved the rapier at his father. "Game over, Dad, call it a night."
        Xellos stood up and gave his son a defiant glare. "Do you really think you’re a match for me, son?"
        Url smiled and shook his head. "No, but I brought someone with me who is, and she’s breaking that sleep spell you put on the castle."
        Xellos narrowed his eyes as he searched the palace with his feelings to find the identity of Urlich’s companion. He came up with nothing and would’ve laughed in his son’s face, figuring the boy was bluffing, but he could feel his spell unraveling and that gave him a pretty good idea of who Url’s ally was. Yes, Jessica might pose a bit of a problem. Xellos gathered his belongings and turned to waggle a finger at his son. "Nicely done, boy. You make me proud. Until next time, Princess!" He blew her a kiss and disappeared just as Jessica arrived with Lina, Gourry and Zelgadis. Two seconds later Prince Phil showed up with a pack of Royal Guards.
        Amelia’s knees gave out as the night’s events hit home, and Urlich gently lowered her to the floor. He took off his coat and wrapped it about her shoulders as Prince Phil knelt on his daughter’s other side and boomed: "Amelia, did he hurt you?!"
        Everyone in the room cringed and rubbed their ears. Amelia shook her head and threw herself into her father’s arms with an agonized wail. "Daddy!"
        Phil looked over Amelia’s head and asked Urlich (loudly): "How can I ever repay you for saving my precious little girl’s honor—er…what was your name?"
        Urlich retrieved his dagger from Amelia’s pillow as he replied quietly. "My name is Urlich. I’m…an acquaintance of the Princess’."
        Lina knelt behind her weeping friend and gently stroked her hair. "He didn’t get far, did he, Amelia?" She asked in a frightened whisper, but that only made Amelia cry harder. This sort of thing was happening way too much to Amelia, Lina thought, then added sourly to herself: "So that’s where Zel got it." She vowed not to leave the Princess unguarded again, then realized that Amelia could have a whole army in her room with her, and Xellos could still put them all to sleep and have his way. Probably the only reason Urlich and Jessica hadn’t been affected by the spell as soon as they entered the castle was the fact that Xellos hadn’t expected them to appear and, so, hadn’t figured them into his spell.
        "He—he made me have a nightmare!" Amelia was sobbing. "He killed all of you, even Daddy, then made me—made me—sniffle—but I beat him, Miss Lina!" The Princess declared. She pushed away from Phil to shake a proud fist in the air. "I fought him, dream for dream, and showed him that a true heart will always defeat evil, even in a fantasy world!"
        Phil gave her a tearful bear hug and roared: "That’s right, Amelia! Evil will never triumph over a heart that’s pure and—"
        "He seemed to be making some headway in the waking world when I arrived," Urlich interrupted as he sat on the edge of the bed and sheathed his weapons. Everybody looked at him in horror, so he added hastily: "But hadn’t actually done anything to compromise Her Highness’…uh…honor."
        He did in that dream, Amelia thought miserably but kept that to herself. It was only a dream, after all, not for real. Anyway, it wasn’t like she’d never had those kinds of dreams before (mostly involving Zelgadis, though she once had a very weird one with Valgarv in it). It was as she remembered one of those dreams featuring Zelgadis that Amelia looked up to find the man himself standing over her, trying very hard to keep a serious, concerned look on his face. Her blood turned suddenly cold. He was feeding on her misery! That stony creep! And after he’d agreed not to do that to them anymore! How dare he? Did he think she wouldn’t know? Grrrrr! Just wait till Miss Lina found out about this!
        As if he could read her thoughts, Zelgadis blushed and took a step backwards. "I—I shouldn’t be here," he stammered and backed into one of Phil’s guards, who remembered the chimera’s earlier infraction and took hold of Zel’s upper arms to keep him from getting away. Zelgadis didn’t struggle. "Amelia…I—I’m so sorry. I’ll kill him. I swear it on anything you ask! I’ll kill him for what he did to you and for what he made me into that I would even think—that I would feed off—oh gods!"
        With a choking sob, Zelgadis tore free of the guard’s hands and tried to shove his way through the crowd that was packed into the Princess’ room. It was no use, though, and soon he was held fast by half a dozen royal guards. Zel hung his head and cried. He couldn’t believe any of this was happening to him. He actually envied Xellos for what he’d done to Amelia! And now he was sucking up her anguish and fear, not to mention Phil’s outrage and all the pity and confusion Lina and Gourry were feeling, and the guards’ anger. The only ones not providing him with a snack were Urlich and Jessica, who had spent enough time dealing with monsters to know to keep their emotions very tightly in check.
        A hand under his chin brought Zel’s head up until he was eye to eye with Urlich, Xellos’ half-dragon son. Url already hated him for almost getting his former lover, Jessica’s sister Sylph killed. Come to think of it, Urlich and Amelia hadn’t really parted on the friendliest of terms, either, because of the Princess’ fondness for Zelgadis. Well, that wasn’t something Url had to worry about anymore, Zel thought sadly, Amelia would never love him again after what he’d done to her that day and certainly not in his current condition.
        Urlich’s lavender eyes sparkled like ice, and his sharp, manicured claws chipped little bits off Zel’s chin. "You and I need to talk, asshole," he snarled, then released Zel’s chin with jerk. "I’ll see you in the dungeon. I know you can escape anytime, but do please stay put. I have information you need to—"
        "NO!" Amelia barked, startling Urlich out of his train of thought. The Princess pushed her father aside and pointed her justice finger at Urlich’s astonished face. "I said Zelgadis won’t have to go to jail and I meant it. Anything you have to say to him, you can say right here." She paused and looked around, as if noticing all the guards for the first time. "I mean, here in private—with me, and Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry, since Zel’s our friend and—"
        "And me!" Prince Phil roared and stomped his foot so hard the bed posts rattled. "If there’s something going on in this kingdom that might endanger its citizens, including my daughter, then I need to know about it!" He got in Urlich’s face and bellowed. "Is that understood, young man?!"
        Url paled. He took a silk handkerchief from his vest pocket and delicately dabbed at the sweat that sprang up on his forehead. He’d just opened his mouth to reply, when Phil shouted: "Well?! Answer me, pretty boy!"
        Urlich coughed. "’Pretty boy’?" He asked politely. "Your Highness, I must insist you calm yourself before you make matters worse. You see, it’s your anger that gives your enemy—Princess Amelia’s attacker, that is—his power. If you fill this castle, even just this room, with it, you’ll only make it more difficult to fight him when he returns to harass Her Highness again," Urlich tucked the kerchief back into its pocket and added with no small satisfaction: "And he will return, Your Highness, you can count on that."
        Phil narrowed his eyes and tried very hard to calm down. Being Phil, he failed. Fists balled at his hips, he growled: "So you’re familiar with this—" he stopped all of a sudden and made a puzzled face. "Who was he, anyway? I didn’t seen any strangers in my daughter’s room except for you and that woman!" He pointed at Jessica, who smiled benignly and twirled a lock of her raven hair about her finger, making the tiny jewels strewn through her tresses sparkle in Url’s magical light. "And just who are you, young—er—" Phil found he suddenly couldn’t concentrate on anything other than her sparkling hair, form-hugging silver gown and shimmering jewels. It occurred to him that she might be royalty of some sort, or at least a person of great wealth and possibly very high station. He decided to take a more subdued tack. "Might I ask your name, Lady?" He asked with a courtly bow.
        Jessica held out her hand for him to kiss it and dazzled him with a feral smile. "Queen Jessica of the kitsune," she purred, and Urlich rolled his eyes.
        Phil kissed her hand and managed a stammered welcome to his "fair city", then realized she’d claimed magical beasts as her people and dropped her hand. "Of the…?"
        "Kitsune," she repeated sweetly, "fox spirits, creatures of magic, shape shifters. Perhaps you’ve heard of us?"
        Urlich shook his head. Lina flopped onto the bed with an aggravated sigh and wished Zhara had sent Sylph instead of her former vampire sister. "Jaz—Jessica, this really isn’t the time—"
        "He asked who I am," Jessica cut in and bared her fangs at the sorceress, who wasn’t impressed, even though she knew the Queen was one of the oldest living things in the world and could probably fry her where she sat.
        "Fine, fine," Lina waved a dismissing hand at the kitsune, "he asked, you told him. Let’s ditch the guards and hear what Url thinks Zel really needs to know."
        "You know, I could just go home," Urlich grumped, "and leave you people to deal with Dad all by yourselves, but I’m feeling pretty generous tonight."
        "How much is Zhara paying you to help us?" Lina, Amelia, Zelgadis and Gourry asked.
        Urlich looked hurt. Jessica, on the other hand, thought that was pretty funny. "Do they know you, or what?" She teased her lover and gave him a playful jab in the arm.
        Prince Phil was even more confused now, though that particular banter had convinced him that Amelia knew the newcomers. He also surmised that Urlich, at least, was some kind of mercenary employed by some person named Zhara, whom Amelia and her friends also seemed to know. Jessica claimed to be a Queen and certainly looked like one (though he knew he shouldn’t make assumptions based on appearances, since that wasn’t just). Of one thing he was certain, however, Zelgadis Greywers was a threat to his little Amelia, and no matter how strongly the Princess felt about the man, Zelgadis’ place was in a nice, secure dungeon. Keeping him there posed a problem, since even Phil was aware of Zelgadis’ shamanist talent, and Amelia had apprised him of the changes in her beloved’s personality. A monster named Xellos had worked a great injustice upon Zelgadis, implanting him with a Mazoku nature against his will. Well, victim of cruelty or not, someone had to find a way to restrain him for his own good, someone with great magical powers. In Phil’s mind, only one person in the room fit the bill: Lina Inverse.
        Lina noticed Phil was staring at her with that look that said he wanted a favor she wasn’t going to enjoy. She also had a pretty good idea what that favor might entail and wasn’t so sure she was game for it, since it meant defying Amelia, who needed all the allies she could get just then. Of course, if Zelgadis was safely locked up in such a way that even his magic couldn’t free him, then Amelia would be safe from Zelgadis and Zelgadis wouldn’t be able to feed off his friends—oh wait. If he couldn’t get away, that meant Xellos could just have his way with him. Captive audience. Hm. But Xellos really hadn’t shown as much interest in hurting Zel as he had in hurting Amelia. No, no, no! It would never work. Xellos would free him, since Zelgadis was now sort of his protégé. Amelia’s plan was better: Keep an eye on Zel but leave him his freedom of movement. After all, he did seem to still have at least a little bit of his old conscience. She just hoped it would be enough to keep him from tripping off to the dark side for good.
        The first words out of Prince Phil’s mouth, however, had nothing to do with imprisoning Zelgadis. He pointed a thoughtful finger at Urlich and earned himself an impatient frown for it. "Who is…’Dad’?"
        Erk! Urlich turned an uncomfortable look on Lina, who laughed self-consciously at Phil, who stomped over to glare into the little sorceress’ face. "Well, Miss Lina?" He bellowed. "Who is his father? Is he the man who attacked my little Amelia?!"
        "Eh-heh-heh…" Lina gulped and nodded. "He’s, um, you see…*cough* Xellos is a monster—"
        "A MONSTER?!" Phil spun on Urlich, who ducked behind a guard. "YOUR FATHER IS A MONSTER?!"
        Gourry and Amelia each took hold of one of Phil’s arms in a vain attempt to keep him from chasing Urlich around the room while demanding at the top of his lungs to know why he should trust his daughter to the son of a monster. "Because he’s half dragon, Daddy!" Amelia squeaked as she was dragged between a pair of guards. "Scuze me! Sorry! Coming through! Daddy, stop!"
        Phil stopped, and Amelia and Gourry smacked into his back then rebounded into the wall of palace guards that had been following their liege around the room. "Monsters and dragons do not mix!" Phileonel shouted over his shoulder.
        Amelia straightened her nightdress and explained. "Xellos is the chief priest/general of Beast Master. He almost annihilated all of the gold dragons (after they annihilated the ancient dragons), but for some fruity reason only Xellos knows, he mated with a dragon and had twins with her."
        "The Queen Dragon," Urlich corrected her through his teeth. "She only agreed to it because he promised to stop killing her people if she did."
        Blink-blink.
        Lina’s wide eyes peeked between the arms of a pair of guards. "Did he stop then?" There were still gold dragons in the world, so obviously Xellos had stopped murdering them at some point. Lina just didn’t know at what point. Could Xellos have ended the slaughter under such romantic circumstances? No. It wouldn’t have been romance that had motivated Xellos. He’d probably just seen it as the supreme humiliation to dragonkind, worse than destroying them. Forcing their leader to bear his young would be for them a fate worse than death. And yet, while they’d all been in Marrigan together, Zhara and Urlich had talked about their mother as if she were still alive. In her place, Lina would’ve killed herself out of sheer mortification and shame after holding up her end of the bargain. Unless her end of the bargain included raising his children to adulthood. From what the twins said, they were closer to their mother than their father, so maybe the old dragon stayed alive because she genuinely loved her children, no matter who their father was. Or maybe she saw them as a possibility for revenge when their powers manifested. Lina could only imagine how that dragon must have felt when the twins had started working for the Mazoku—until Xellos killed Urlich’s son, turning his children against him.
        Which brought them to the present moment, in which Urlich had just rescued Princess Amelia from his father and now hesitated to answer Lina’s question. "No, he didn’t. Not until after we were born. That was the deal: She had to actually bear his live young and raise them to adulthood. He stopped the killing when we were born, but it was always understood he’d start up again if she killed us or herself before we were grown."
        "That black-hearted monster!" Phil cried and smacked his fist into his palm. "Forcing a woman—even a dragon woman—"
        "What’s that supposed to mean?" Urlich protested, but Phil sallied on.
        "—to bear his bastard children! Oh what a noble creature your mother was to sacrifice herself to save her race!" Phil threw his arms around Urlich’s shoulders and crushed him in a bear hug before Url even knew what hit him. "And now you oppose your evil father, thwarting his wicked plots at every turn! Forgive me for ever doubting you, Orrick—"
        "Ugh! That’s Urlich!"
        "—you brave, noble champion of justice and defender of my precious Amelia’s honor—"
        "Uh, Daddy—"
        Lina, Gourry and Zelgadis just shook their heads. Phil had no idea about Urlich and probably wouldn’t change his mind no matter what anybody told him. Jessica sat on Amelia’s bed and giggled. "’Champion of justice’! Teehee! Wait till Zhara hears about this! And Sylph! Heeheeheeheeeeee!"
        Phil held the battered and near-suffocated Urlich out at arm’s length and beamed at him with big, dewy, paternal eyes. "You wouldn’t by any chance be single, would you, Urlich?"
        "DA-DEEEE!"
        "BWA-HA-HA! JUST KIDDING! Amelia’s too young to get married!" The giantish Prince knocked the wind out Urlich with another bear hug, then almost knocked his teeth out by thumping him too hard on the back.
        Urlich met Amelia’s eyes with a furious snarl that made her cower into Gourry’s chest just as the swordsman pulled himself together after taking a ride around the room in Phil’s boisterous wake. "No reward is worth this! OOF!"
        "WHAT WAS THAT, MY BOY?!"
        Choke, gasp, wheeze. "Nothing!"
        With a wave of his mighty arm, Prince Phileonel ordered Zelgadis confined to the dungeon and wouldn’t hear anyone’s arguments against it, not even Amelia’s. He figured she still had feelings for the poor, cursed boy (oh what a generous heart his daughter had!). Add to that the trauma she’d suffered twice that day, and Phil decided his little girl’s judgment wasn’t entirely solid just then. After a while, everybody just gave up trying to convince him to change his mind about Zel and resigned themselves to clueing Phil in on the details of their latest adventure.
        Urlich noticed Jessica’s absence first and was ready with an excuse as soon as Prince Phil noticed it and waxed suspicious. "She’s a very powerful creature, Your Highness," Url explained calmly as he lit a cigarette and opened the window a crack to let the smoke outside when Amelia and Phil glared at him. "And Zelgadis is a powerful sorcerer—or so I’ve been told," he snorted at Amelia, who stuck her tongue out at him. "Your dungeon can’t hold such a man, so Jessica went to make sure he doesn’t use his magic to escape."
        Phil rubbed his chin as he thought about that, then addressed his next question to Lina. "Can this Queen Jessica be trusted, Miss Lina?"
        Lina nodded, though she wasn’t 100% sure Jessica could be trusted. If she’d still been the vampire Jaz that had helped save Amelia from becoming a vampire, then Lina would be more certain of her. But she didn’t know anything about Jessica, except what legends said of her people and their ancient queen. What the legends said was kitsune—especially that kitsune—liked playing tricks on hapless mortals, rather like a certain Mazoku Trickster Priest Lina knew. However, since Zhara had sent Jessica with Urlich, Lina decided she’d trust her for now and keep her doubts to herself.
        If Lina trusted Jessica, that was good enough for Phil.

        In the dungeon…
        "I don’t want company!"
        Jessica giggled. "Too bad. I’m going to make sure you don’t escape."
        Zel flopped onto his familiar bunk and laced his hands behind his head. "I don’t intend to try."
        "Then I won’t let Xellos bust you out," Jessica chirped as she sat on the chair in the corner and arranged the folds of her silken gown. "Or bother you."
        Zel smirked. "In that case, I guess you can stay."
        Giggle.

        While in Marrigan, Ullan and Zellan were meeting their new business partner.
        "OH-HOHOHOHOHOOOO!" Boing! Boing!
        Blink-blink-blink. "Holy…gods…" Ullan gasped.
        "She’s…" Zellan choked.
        "OH-HOHOHOHOHOOOO!" Naga struck a pose in the middle of the street, stopping midday foot traffic with her jiggling, mind-bogglingly huge breasts, microscopic bikini and spine splintering cackle. Even Marrigan’s more terrifying denizens shrank into the shadowed alleys to escape that terrible sound. "You must be Ullan and Zellan! I am Naga the White Serpent, world-famous expert on hot springs and sorceress of unrivaled power and beauty! OH-HOHOHOHOOO!"
        Ullan and Zellan gulped and paled. They exchanged worried looks and silently cursed the name of Lina Inverse (while wondering what they’d done to offend the little red-haired sorceress that she would send this scantily-clad monstrosity to plague them).
        The citizens of Marrigan found someplace else to be.
        Zellan looked from Naga to Ullan. The brothers nodded, and Ullan cried: "RUN!"
        Naga watched the boys disappear down the street in a puff of dust, then with an elated grin and mighty: "OH-HOHOHOHOHOOOO!" Took off after them.

        "I’m hungry," Zelgadis whined.
        "So you’ve said," Jessica grumbled back, "and said and said and said. What do you want me to do about it, Boulder Brains? I don’t scare."
        "Everybody scares."
        "I don’t."
        Zelgadis took that as a dare, cracked his knuckles and commenced to give his new Mozoku nature a good work out. Nothing like a big, healthy breakfast, that’s what his mother had always said. Even if you have to work for it a little.
        "Get away from me, you stony pervert! FIREBALL!"