Curiouser and Curiouser
I have a very bad feeling about this. - Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, C3PO
"So *chomp-munch* you’re not
buying Lita’s story, either, huh? *munch-gulp*" Lina tore off another bite from
the enormous chicken leg she’d bought from a street vendor and devoured it with the
same enthusiasm she used when killing bandits. She had a bulging sack of uneaten chicken
and dinner rolls over her shoulders and a flask of wine under the arm not occupied with
the chicken leg. Though she badly wanted to talk to someone about the holes in Lita’s
story, Lina decided to leave certain parties out of the discussion. Lita, for obvious
reasons, Amelia because she’d swallowed Lita’s story hook, line and sinker,
Zelgadis because…well, frankly she didn’t entirely trust him anymore, much as
she hated to even think it. She wanted Gourry to stay at the castle to watch over Amelia
(even though he sort of dropped the ball on that before, she figured he’d be more
suspicious this time). Phileonel was out of the question because she honestly didn’t
think she could deal with him after the excitement of the past few hours. That left
Jessica, who could read the hieroglyphs in the tomb and was L-Sama's former High
Priestess, and Urlich who was just skeptical and paranoid enough to really discuss her
suspicions with. Jessica said she wanted to be there in case Xellos tried anything funny
with Zelgadis or Amelia again. That left Url, who Lina found irritating most of the time
but generally thought was a like-minded individual, though he’d never admit to thinking
like Lina Inverse. Ever.
Urlich looked down his nose at her with a
disgusted snarl. "Pig," he accused, then deftly jumped out of the way of her
boot as it flew up to kick him in the nuts. He’d gotten good at that during his food
finding expedition with the sorceress through the streets of Seyruun. Since Jessica had
declined Lina’s invitation to join them for a private chat, Url was left alone with
Lina, an arrangement he was finding less than enlightening at the moment. They had managed
to get some discussion done before Lina had found the chicken vendor. The most important
thing they’d established was that Lita Sorez’ story had more holes in it than a
sponge. For instance: Why would she want to paint nice pictures in the tomb of the woman
who had allegedly sent a monster to kill her? And why would she even want to get into
Lara’s tomb, in light of that and the fact that Lara’s family didn’t
accept her and she and Lara hadn’t been speaking to each other? Urlich and Lina
agreed that it was highly unlikely a Mazoku would have that much trouble killing someone
as meek as Lita seemed to be. That, too, could be an act, they realized, but even so, a
monster probably could’ve finished her off, given a couple years to do it in, which
this monster supposedly had had, if Lita’s timeline was to be believed.
Another thing Urlich learned during his morning
chat and chow with Lina was that following up his dodges with a good swat to her rear with
his cane was good for a laugh, so he whacked her with it again. "Can’t you dodge
that by now?" He teased. "I think you actually like me spanking you. Is that
what Gourry does?"
For that, he got the chicken bone up the nose
that he rightfully deserved. "Bitch."
"What’s the matter, Url?
Couldn’t you dodge that one?" She snickered around a new chicken leg.
"You’re slip—YEOWCH!"
Urlich sheathed his rapier, plucked the chicken
bone from his nostril and cast it over his shoulder. "Don’t worry. I used the
flat of my blade. You were saying?"
Lina glared at her chicken leg where it lay in
the dust after being spat from her mouth when Url spanked her. Then she turned her look of
death upon Urlich, who gulped and put his hand on his rapier hilt, ready to draw again.
"I said…" Lina growled menacingly, "FIREBALL!"
"Yipe!" Urlich threw up a protective
shield just in the nick of time for the fireball to wash harmlessly over its surface. Just
as he thought about letting down the shield, Lina threw another fireball at him. She kept
up the assault until she had him backed up against the side of a crowded restaurant.
Luckily, the customers had already been terrified into leaving by Lina’s relentless
incendiary attack, but in Urlich’s mind that was hardly important. What was occupying
his attention just then was his father, who floated above and behind Lina’s head, a
big, happy grin on his face and a half-eaten chocolate soft-serve ice cream cone in his
hand.
"Dad!" Urlich shrieked. "Get
down here!"
"Eh?" Said Lina and Xellos at the
same time and got the exact same puzzled look on their faces. Lina looked over her
shoulder, then bent backwards a bit to see if Xellos was really there. He giggled and
waggled his fingers at her, so she fireballed him. "You rat! This is all your fault!
If you hadn’t mated with a dragon, I wouldn’t have to deal with your jerk of a
son!"
Urlich sighed and set about putting his attire
back in order with a bored scowl. "I can’t talk to you," he grumbled at
Lina. "I’m going to find someplace nice to sit and have a pleasant meal, then
I’ll go back to the castle where the sensible—urk!"
Lina wrapped his cravat around her fist until
Urlich was blue in the face. "I wasn’t the one hurling insults!"
Urlich held up a hand between himself and Lina
and gasped: "Lightning!" The bright flash of light startled the sorceress long
enough for Urlich to get his knee into her gut and break her hold on his neckwear. The
cravat tore and came free in her hand as she sailed backwards into a table, toppling that
and smashing the plates and glasses that had been on top of it. The food that was on the
plates and the wine that was in the glasses wound up on her. Urlich’s hand flew to
his throat, his horrified gaze on the remains of his cravat in her right hand. With a
roar, he drew his rapier and charge. "You bitch! That was expensive!"
Lina’s eyes went wide and she drew her own
blade just in time to block Urlich’s down stroke. "It’s a scarf! Get a new
one!"
"Pay for it!"
Clang! Clang! Parry! Swipe! Clang!
Lina rolled out of the way of Urlich’s
stroke and jumped onto a chair to give herself the advantage of high ground. "Geez,
Url, relax!"
"Pay for it, damn you!"
"Fine! I’ll pay for your stupid
scarf!" Lina grabbed her money bag and jingled it at him to display her intent to
extract coins if only he’d quit attacking her. "How much can a scarf possibly
cost?"
Urlich trembled with rage and wiped sweat from
his upper lip with the back of his gloved hand. "It’s not a scarf, you
uncultured cretin, it’s a cravat! And it cost me an entire gold piece!"
Lina’s jaw dropped. "You got ripped
off, Url."
"ARGH!" Urlich raised his sword and
charged again.
"Ok! Ok! Ok!" Lina jumped off the
chair and landed on another one. She dug up a gold piece and threw it at Urlich, who
managed to catch it and still complete his lunge.
In her effort to avoid being skewered, Lina
lost her balance and fell over into a fountain. Her sword flew from her hand, twirled in
the air a few times, then stuck itself into a nearby table top.
Meanwhile, Urlich used the momentum of his
charged to flip onto the fountain, then flip backward and crash into his father. He
wrapped his arms around Xellos, startling the Mazoku straight out of his float and sending
both of them crashing to the ground. Urlich then pinned Xellos to the ground with a
restraining spell designed especially for his father. "Gotcha!"
Xellos’ face turned purple with rage.
"What was that for?!"
Urlich sat on Xellos' stomach and grinned.
"The Princess."
"Yeah, right," Xellos snorted.
"Like you care."
Urlich executed a brilliant Xellos chuckle as
he chirped: "You’re right, I don’t. I just felt like embarrassing you in
front of your favorite mortal." He shifted his weight, causing his father great
discomfort, and added: "I lie. Actually, that was for what you did to the Princess.
She’s just a kid. Shit, Dad, let her grow up at least."
"You’re missing the point,
Urlich…"
Lina sloshed over, paused to blink at Urlich
and Xellos in utter confusion, then dripped over Xellos to go find her sack of food.
"I think he gets the point of what you were trying to do to Amelia," she told
Xellos as she retrieved her breakfast, then sloshed back. "You were trying to make
her act like she did in Marrigan that one time, right?" She sunk her teeth into yet
another chicken leg and actually chewed and swallowed before speaking again. "Well,
forget it. She’s onto you, Xel. It won’t work." Lina sat down next to the
Trickster Priest with a smirk. "So, Xel? What’s up with Lita Sorez?"
"I wish I knew," Xellos giggled.
"Okayyyy…Who’s after Lita?"
Chomp, much, gulp. "She said a monster’s chasing her with orders from Lara to
kill her. I thought that was pretty fishy, since Mazoku don’t take orders from
mortals, right?"
"Very true."
"And anyway, that monster’s had
something like two years to croak her. Either Lita’s lying, or that’s one sloppy
monster." Lina threw the bone over her shoulder and laid into another plump chicken
leg with gleeful vengeance. "So is there a monster assassin after Lita, Xel?"
"How should I know?" Xellos grinned,
happy to be annoying her so thoroughly.
She looked to Urlich for support, but he just
rolled his eyes and shook his head. Typical Xellos. "Anyway, I figure you should know
since you were the one who assumed Lara Sorez’ identity to mess with Zel. And
don’t think I believe you when you say you didn’t kill Lara. You’re still a
suspect."
Xellos snorted: "You’re still harping
on that? Ok, I’ll level with you, but only because of our past relationship:
Lara’s copy killed her. There. Happy?"
"Lita?" Lina exchanged a victorious
glance with Urlich. So she was right: Lita was lying! So much for one of the holes in
Lita’s story.
The Trickster giggled.
Lina and Urlich glared at him.
"What’s so funny?" Url snarled.
"Nothing," Xellos giggled, "I
just do that…you know, giggle. It’s just this thing I—GASP!"
Lina ground her foot into his neck to shut him
up. "Look, Xel, quit screwing around! We’re serious!"
"I love it when you get like this,
Lina…" Xellos choked. "You’re so sexy when you act like a
monster."
He will not get to me, he will not get to me,
he will not get to me… Lina chanted that over and over in her head.
"You really were enjoying that,
weren’t you, Dad?" He asked Xellos with a disgusted frown. "I know you
could’ve gotten away any time."
Lina blinked as if coming out of a trance and
gave Urlich a stunned look, but she knew he was right. Xellos could’ve disappeared,
leaving Urlich sitting in the dirt, no matter how strong Url’s restraining spell was.
Xellos was Xellos, and Lina doubted even one of his own children could hold him for long
against his will.
Xellos chuckled as he got to his feet and
brushed himself off with a happy giggle. "I told you what you wanted to
know—"
"No, you didn’t," Lina growled,
finally finding her tongue again. "You haven’t told us if a monster is trying to
kill Lita and if so, which monster, or if Lita really is the copy that killed Lara. Nor
have you told us why you can’t get into Lara’s crypt."
Xellos’ smile evaporated and he opened his
eyes to give Lina a cold, level stare. Lina smirked, knowing she’d hit the mark. It
had only been a guess, but in her mind nothing else could account for the fact that Xellos
hadn’t joined them in the mausoleum earlier but instead had sat outside at a distance
and just looked really frustrated about something. Urlich had brought it up to her at the
beginning of their food quest and had suggested the idea that something was preventing his
father from entering Lara’s tomb. Url suspected it was the ancient spell of
L-Sama’s Priestesses that was painted on the walls. Lina hoped that was it, though
she had this awful feeling in her gut that it just might have something to do with
whatever the stone vines were supposed to keep in that sarcophagus. She shuddered just
thinking about it again.
"Why do you think I couldn’t get in,
Lina?" Xellos asked her carefully.
Lina didn’t flinch, even though it gave
her goosebumps when Xellos made that face. "You looked pretty frustrated, just
sitting on your little tombstone this morning," she told him smoothly. "I’d
think if you could’ve joined us, you would’ve done it. Especially since Jessica
and Urlich had just finished stealing Zelgadis from you, which must’ve spoiled your
fun. He was with us, you know. Think of the jollies you could’ve had if only you
could’ve gotten into the crypt."
Xellos’ evil stare got even darker and
more wicked. "Maybe you can tell me what the problem was," he hissed in a voice
that was like an icy dagger.
Urlich moved closer to Lina. He knew that look
and tone of voice well enough to know it usually prefaced an attack. He only wished he
could use magic offensively, like Lina could; all he could do was put up a defensive
barrier against whatever his father chose to throw at them. The gathering bystanders
worried him, since they could easily get caught in the crossfire, especially with
Lina’s reputation for recklessness when throwing around fire spells.
Lina saw Urlich take up a defensive stance out
of the corner of her eye and braced herself. So, Xellos didn’t know what was inside
the mausoleum, she thought. That meant whatever kept him out also kept him from seeing
inside. Interesting. "I don’t know what could possibly be powerful enough to
keep out the chief servant of the mighty Beast Master, do you Url?"
He was thinking exactly the same thing she was,
so he just grinned and shook his head. "I have no idea. Far as I know, there’s
just a dead human and some really tasteless statuary in there."
Xellos’ mouth twisted into a very unamused
sneer. "Very well. I’ll get the information from someone else." With that,
he disappeared.
Lina and Urlich cursed and ran like hell for
the castle. "That jerk! I didn’t even get to press him on the copy thing!"
Lina complained as they ran.
"What copy thing?" Urlich shot back.
"He said Lara’s copy killed her, and Lita’s Lara’s copy. Case
closed."
Lina shook her head. "Something in the way
he giggled when I said ‘Lita’, as if I had the wrong copy."
Urlich thought about it and decided she had a
point. His father’s giggle did seem suspicious when she put it that way. Then
again… "He might have done that just to make you think you were on the wrong
track."
Her jaw set, then she nodded. "I know, but
my woman’s intuition tells me that’s not it."
Url gaped at her. "Are you serious?!
That’s your whole reason for believing there’s another copy of Lara out there?
Woman’s intuition?!"
She winked at him. "Yup!"
"Oh gods, we’re screwed…"
Back at the castle, Princess Amelia was
getting chummy with Lita over a nice pot of tea while Zelgadis tried to use the
opportunity to ascertain how much like his Lara Lita was—without Amelia suspecting
that’s what he was doing. It was tricky, since she seemed predisposed to believe
he’d make a play for this woman who looked so much like his lost lover (ok, ok, it
had been Xellos, but Zel wasn’t going there). Then again, Amelia’s jealousy was
kind of fun, almost like…hmm…cotton candy. Delish’! Now that Url and
Jessica had pretty much absolved him of responsibility for his appetites, Zelgadis was
doing his best to get a decent meal. If his buddies couldn’t control their emotions,
that was their problem. He frowned to himself at that. Hm, those opinions weren’t
quite as palatable when he actually fessed up to them. Being part Mazoku would be a lot
easier to deal with if he didn’t have a conscience.
Gourry sat on the couch next to Zelgadis, with
Jessica sitting in a nearby chair, watching the big swordsman get more and more bored. She
noticed Firedrake hanging off his hip and had just decided upon the perfect conversation
starter to prick his attention when Xellos appeared, snagged Gourry, tea cup and all, then
disappeared again.
For a few seconds, all they could do was stare
dumbly at the empty spot where Gourry had been moments before. Then all at once they
jumped to their feet with startled gasps and ran for the door. "I’ll tell Lina
and Urlich!" Jessica exclaimed and disappeared.
"Guards!" Amelia barked as she dashed
into the corridor. "Guards!" As soon as she got a good group of guards around
her she briefed them on what had happened and ordered them to search the castle and the
rest of the city. "I’ll inform Daddy!" With that, she charged off down the
hall to find her father, Lita and Zelgadis hot on her heels.
"Why would he take Gourry?" Zelgadis
mused aloud. He figured Xellos would be more interested in him, not Lina’s boyfriend.
Waitaminit…Lina’s boyfriend…
Suddenly, Zelgadis grabbed his companions’
wrists and screeched to a halt. "You won’t find him in Seyruun," he told
Amelia. "You won’t find him no matter how hard you look. Anywhere."
Amelia twisted her arm in his grasp, but he
wouldn’t let go. It scared her more than she thought it would to have him restraining
her like that again and it almost brought her to tears. "Let go," she begged,
"please?"
Zel released her with an impatient glare.
"I know why Xellos took Gourry."
The Princess composed herself in a snap and
gave him a sharp look. "Why?"
"Lina."
Lita and Amelia raised their eyebrows in unison
and said: "Eh?"
Zel sighed. "Come on, Amelia, you know
this. Xellos been trying to get Lina to join him for as long as we’ve known him
because he’s drawn to her power."
"But Miss Lina will never serve the
monster race!" Amelia exclaimed with her fist upraised and proud tears streaming down
her cheeks. "Miss Lina might be a little crazy sometimes but deep down inside
she’s a true champion of justice!"
Lita stifled a giggle at that, and Zelgadis
rolled his eyes. "Reality to Amelia. Helloooo." Zel rapped the top of
Amelia’s head with his knuckles and told her dryly: "Justice to Lina means
stealing bandit treasure and Dragon Slaving people who tell her she has small breasts. Get
real, Amelia. She’s more suited for the monster race than any human I know."
"That’s not true!" The Princess
protested hotly and rolled up her sleeves, ready to punish her old comrade for saying such
a terrible thing. "You take that back, Zelgadis, right now!"
"Oh, like you’ve never thought it
before…"
Gasp! "I never thought anything of the
sort! Miss Lina didn’t destroy Shabranigdo or Phibrizio because there was gold
to be had or because they called her flat-chested! She did it to save the world! What
could be more just than that?"
Zelgadis smirked and playfully poked her in the
nose. "Actually, she only destroyed a piece of Shabranigdo, not the whole monster,
and yes," he sighed resignedly, "she did it to save the world, which I guess is
a pretty noble cause. But on an ordinary day, justice and Lina Inverse don’t have
much to do with each other."
Lita tapped Zelgadis on the shoulder and asked
timidly: "Um, you guys? Shouldn’t we be doing something about finding Mr.
Gabriev?"
Amelia smacked her hand into her palm and
exclaimed: "Right! We have to find out where Xellos took Mr. Gourry! Let’s go
find my Daddy!"
"Like Phil has a clue," Zelgadis
muttered disgustedly as he trotted after the Princess and Lita. "Geez, Amelia, grow
the hell up already!"
Jessica appeared in Lina’s and
Urlich’s path and had to disappear again to keep from being trampled. She reappeared
behind them just as they stopped and turned around, panting and gasping for breath.
"Xellos took Gourry!"
Lina didn’t say anything for a few
moments, then her eyes got wide as she realized why Xellos had taken her friend. Her knees
gave out and she sunk to the ground in a daze of rage and disbelief. Xel said he was going
to find someone who would tell him what was in there. "Oh gods," she thought in
dismay. Gourry was just clueless enough to think there was no harm in telling Xellos all
about the hieroglyphs and everything. Maybe he’d even think he was doing them all a
favor by asking Xellos about it. She buried her face in her hands and prayed that just
this once Gourry would keep his big mouth shut. "Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods," she
mumbled as she shook her head with worry. "We’re in big trouble."
Jessica squatted down next to Lina and put her
hand on her shoulder. "Do you know why he took Gourry?"
Lina nodded and lifted her head to give the
kitsune an empty stare. "He’ll ask Gourry what he saw in the tomb, and Gourry
will just tell him because we’ve traveled with Xellos so often in the past."
Urlich wasn’t so sure he agreed with her
assessment. "Give him a little credit, Lina," he told her coolly. "In
Gourry’s place, my first question would be: Why don’t you go have a look,
yourself? Can’t you get in?"
"You don’t understand," Lina
sighed, "Gourry’s a brilliant swordsman and a true friend but he’s not too
swift, if you know what I mean." She tapped her temple to emphasize her point.
"It takes him a while to figure things out and he opens his big mouth before even
trying to think."
Url held out his hand to Lina until she finally
noticed it and let him help her to her feet. "Maybe it’s not a problem for Dad
to know what’s in the tomb. He might actually be able to give us some insight into
the meaning of the fresco and why there are vines sealing the sarcophagus."
Jessica frowned and thoughtfully chewed a claw,
her ears at half mast. "I think there’s a reason Xellos can’t enter
Lara’s tomb, or even see what’s inside it. I wish we knew who had cast the spell
through Lita, so we could get a better idea of what Xellos has to do with it." She
sighed. "Let’s hope Gourry can keep his mouth shut."
Lina turned and started off for the palace
again, this time at a more leisurely pace. As she walked, she mused. "I’m not so
sure I believe Lita was the one who painted the tomb. There’s just too much about her
story that doesn’t add up. It’s like what Zel was saying: She claimed to have
painted the whole interior of the tomb, but there’s a fresco on the ceiling she
couldn’t have done without plaster or a ladder, and Lita said she didn’t bring
anything with her but paints and brushes. What’d she do? Get a ladder and plaster in
a trance, then return them and go back to the tomb and sit by her paints, still in a
trance?"
Urlich grunted his agreement with that.
"But if not Lita, then who? And what’s her real reason for being here?"
"To find out what the paintings
mean?" Jessica suggested. "Maybe she wants the ancient spell, though I
can’t imagine why, since it’s highly unlikely she could cast it."
"What if those other donors she mentioned
were creatures with the kind of power needed to cast the life spell?" Lina asked in a
quiet voice.
Jessica shook her head. "Unlikely. You
killed most of those who might have been able to cast such a spell but for their
destructive Mazoku natures. The only other ones who could cast it, outside of the Lord of
Nightmares herself, are Seified and maybe, just maybe, his Knight, though that person
would definitely need magic amplifiers and casting the spell might take all of their life
force. Actually, I do believe there is a Knight of Seified in the world at this
time."
Lina gulped and looked away. There was a Knight
of Seified in the world alright, and she was the one person, human or otherwise, that
could strike real fear into the heart of Lina Inverse: Her sister Luna. Could Luna cast
the life spell, Lina wondered with a shudder? Worse, had Luna contributed genetic material
to Lita? Lina rejected that idea outright. No way would Luna knowingly take part
in—oh gods. Knowingly. What if Lara had visited Luna’s restaurant and had
managed to nick a piece of hair, or something? The idea of any poor soul having part of
Luna Inverse in them was more than Lina could take. She swooned and fainted into
Urlich’s arms.
Jessica scratched behind one of her furry black
ears. "Was it something I said?"
In another dimension, Xellos summoned a
plate of tiny, triangle-shaped sandwiches to go with Gourry’s cup of tea, then
summoned a small, round table and two chairs, sat down on one of the chairs and politely
offered Gourry the other. He then summoned a good, stiff cup of Joe for himself and
directed the plate of sandwiches to quit floating in mid air and set itself on the table
instead. That mission accomplished, he made a fuss over selecting one of the identical
sandwiches, dunked it in his coffee and popped it into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed,
then noticed with no small amount of irritation that Gourry refused to sit down. Actually,
the big blonde looked sort of mesmerized by his improbable surroundings. Xellos decided to
go for something less distracting than floating windows and spinning daisies, waved his
hand and changed the little pocket of space into a field of wildflowers under a clear,
blue sky. "Sit, Gourry, sit."
Gourry finally took the other chair with a
suspicious glare for his new tea companion. He set his cup and saucer down in front of him
but didn’t take Xellos up on his offer of a tea sandwich. The Trickster accepted that
with a shrug and got straight to the point: "So, Gourry, tell me what you think of
the decor in Lara Sorez’ tomb. I find it utterly tasteless."
"Is that why you wouldn’t come inside
this morning?" Gourry asked pointedly and took a delicate sip of his tea.
Xellos frowned. Ok, so this wasn’t going
to be quite the cake walk he’d originally thought it would be. "The place
offends me," he lied and sipped coffee. "It’s appalling. She was such a
nice woman," he sighed dramatically. "She doesn’t deserve to be treated so
tastelessly in death."
Gourry kept his expression bland as he stirred
his tea with his finger and rested his chin in his hand. "She didn’t deserve to
have her body used to trick Zelgadis, either," he said coldly. "Don’t
pretend you actually care what happened to her, since you’re probably the one who
murdered her. Or you got Kopii to do it for you, so you’d have her body to use
against Zelgadis."
Xellos stuffed another sandwich into his mouth
and chomped on it with unnecessary vigor. Lina had obviously been filling the big
idiot’s head with her own theories about Lara’s death. Well, conditioning could
always be overcome, he just had to find something Lina hadn’t addressed with Dumdum
yet. He decided to start with a little honesty, which he had absolutely no hope Gourry
would believe. "I didn’t kill Lara, and neither did Rezo Number Three. Her death
was a happy convenience for us, nothing more. It was her copy who killed her, just as I
told Lina and Urlich."
Gourry frowned. Xellos was probably just
feeding into Lina’s conviction that Lita was the one who had murdered Lara. Well,
Lita’s guilt hadn’t been proven, and she didn’t seem as suspicious to him
as Xellos did. He knew Xellos, and Xellos definitely couldn’t be trusted. "What
do you want with me, Xellos?"
"Oh, you know," Xellos giggled,
though he wasn’t feeling as amused as usual, "to get your opinion on that
hideous tomb—"
"That you can’t get into or even see
what’s inside, right?" Gourry finished for him with a sour snort. "You want
me to tell you what’s inside, don’t you? Geez, Xellos, you’re not usually
this easy to read. I think you’re losing your touch. Can I go back to Seyruun
now?"
Xellos choked on his sandwich. "Who are
you and what have you done with Gourry Gabriev?"
"Huh?"
Xellos buried his face in his hands.
"Nevermind. You realize I’m going to kill you now, right?"
"That wouldn’t score too many points
with Lina, and you know it."
"Nobody likes a smartass," Xellos
muttered and zapped him unconscious, then sat back to eat sandwiches and figure out a
better way to use his new captive. What a rotten day this had turned out to be—and he hadn’t even had tea with L-Sama yet!
Meanwhile in Marrigan, the former Sons of
Chaos were having a very good day, indeed. After a few hours of scouting the outskirts of
town, Naga had found what she declared was the perfect location for their new spa. All it
needed was an actual hot spring, which she understood Zhara could create, since she’d
created Marrigan and all of its inhabitants (Ullan had told her so when she’d first
voiced worries that there were no naturally occurring hot springs in the vicinity of
Marrigan). There was a lovely grove of oak trees nestled against a low mesa that Naga
thought would be fabulous with a waterfall tumbling over its edge. She envisioned marble
temples, shrines to beauty, glittering like pearls in the sunshine. And beneath the trees,
the crowning glory of the resort: A life-sized statue of her most magnificent self to
inspire all who came seeking inner and outer beauty! The thought of it made Naga so happy
she just had to cut loose.
"AH-HA-HA-HA-HA! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
Ullan, Zellan and Zhara covered their ears and
let her go. After all, she’d been holding it in on pain of gag spell for almost four
hours now. They just wished she didn’t have to do it so loudly.
"She’ll scare off the customers if
she does that after we open," Zellan shouted into his brother’s ear.
Ullan nodded with fear in his eyes. He got big
knots in his stomach whenever Naga laughed. "We should talk to her about that!"
"You talk to her about that!" Zellan
shot back.
Ullan paled. "Me?!"
"AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Naga carried on
with glee.
Zellan cringed. "She likes you best!"
His brother looked from him to their cackling
business partner in absolute terror, then fainted.
Zhara took her hands off her ears long enough
to smack her eldest son upside the head. "That was uncalled for, Zellan. I want you
to apologize to your brother as soon as he wakes up!"
Zellan hung his head. "Yes, Mum."
"AH-HA-HA-HA-HA! The poor, delicate soul!
He crumbled at the mere thought of my favor! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
"Oh gods," Zellan moaned, "what
have we done?"