"AHHHH—CHOO!" Lina held out her hand, and Jessica put a handkerchief in it. Lina then blew her nose and dropped the kerchief onto the pile of dirties on the right hand side of her chair. She took a sip of herbal tea and looked up at the mantle clock for the fifth time in the last minute. Urlich had been gone a full fifteen minutes, which had seemed more like fifteen days to the impatient Lina Inverse. Zelgadis’ experience with Zhara’s shortcut was too fresh in her mind for her not to worry when Zhara and Gourry hadn’t showed up on time. According to Zelgadis, all sorts of really nasty things lived in that cavern—nasty things that would find a human like Gourry pretty darn tasty. The chimera was taking what Lina thought was unnecessary pleasure in describing the creatures that might have gotten Zhara and Gourry, probably to get a bite of their fear and worry. Well, Lina thought she was doing a pretty fair job of keeping her emotions in check, and so were Amelia and Phil (surprisingly enough). Jessica was an old hat at hiding her emotions from hungry Mazoku, but Lita was sort of losing it, making her Zel’s new best friend for the day. He sat in a chair next to hers, recounting his adventure in the cavern with Sylph in meticulous detail and watching her reactions with eager eyes. Lina wanted to tell Lita to get a grip but she’d just reveal her anger to Zel and give him another snack. His Mazoku appetites were really putting a strain on their relationship.
        And speaking of Zel’s new appetites, why was Xellos still playing with him? Wasn’t it enough just knowing Zelgadis’ life was screwed for having some of Xellos in him? No, of course it wasn’t. Lina sneezed and had some more tea. Now that Zelgadis was showing some pretty serious Mazoku tendencies it just stood to reason that Xellos would actively try to recruit him into Beast Master’s service. Of course, he wasn’t scoring many points by using that part of himself inside Zel to control him and sic him on his allies. "Man," she thought, "Xel’s just full of lousy judgment today! First Amelia, then Zel," she almost added Gourry to that list, but that depended on what had happened in the cavern. She looked up at the clock again and sighed. One whole minute had passed. It was driving her crazy not knowing what was going on!
        "…Sylph was just barely clinging to life," Zelgadis was telling an enraptured, horrified Lita. "Her torn body oozed blood and gore onto the broken stone on which she lay. Sometimes she’d cough up blood, the effort tearing up her already battered insides and twisting her body with the most horrible pain imaginable!"
        "But she survived, didn’t she?" Lita asked breathlessly, her wide eyes darting from Zelgadis to the others in the room.
        Jessica frowned deeply at Zel, who gave her an innocent look in return. "Yes, she survived," Jessica told Lita in a tight voice, "thanks to the healing powers of Urlich, Lina and Amelia. Why don’t you tell her what you did to Xellos to pay him back for Sylph’s injuries?" She asked Zelgadis blithely as she munched on a cookie, then washed it down with a mouthful of tea. "Or was that to punish him for making you fall in love with Lara Sorez, only to discover Lara was dead, and you’d actually slept with Xellos?"
        Zelgadis’ eyes went wide and he ground his teeth with rage, not daring to meet Lita’s gaze, though he could feel it boring into his skull. Lina’s tea cup clattered onto its saucer, and Amelia gagged on her tea. "You bitch…" Zelgadis growled under his breath. Power gathered in his clenched fists and spread out to engulf his entire body in an angry red glow.
        "Vixen," Jessica corrected him coolly. "You bring up bad memories for me, I’ll bring up bad memories for you. I know Urlich told you it was your victims’ responsibility to prevent you from getting a meal from their emotions, but Url’s half monster. I’m not. And I know you don’t want to be any part monster, Zelgadis. Look at yourself," she waved her half-eaten cookie at him. "Stoking her emotions and eating them up like a king’s feast! You’re becoming Xellos and enjoying it. Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not enjoying it!"
        Amelia tried to look at Zelgadis but found she couldn’t bear it. Jessica was right: He was enjoying being a monster. She’d seen it in his face as he told Lita his story. Every time Lita had looked away in disgust, Zelgadis’ smile had broadened. Just like Xellos. She met Lina’s eyes and found the sorceress’ expression mirrored her own. So Lina had seen it, too. He wasn’t their Zel anymore. Amelia’s fists tightened in her lap until her fingernails cut into her palms and made them bleed. "Xellos…" she choked, then a giant hand covered hers, and Amelia looked up into her father’s determined face.
        "Don’t worry, Amelia," he told her in an uncharacteristically quiet voice that got the attention of everyone in the room. Zelgadis’ battle aura abruptly disintegrated at the sound of that deep, calm, hard tone. "Xellos will pay for what he has done to your friend, mark my words. Deep down inside, I know Zelgadis’ conscience tortures him every time he causes you pain and I know he wants to avenge himself on that blackheart for corrupting his true, honorable nature!" Phil’s volume increased as he spoke, passionately holding aloft and shaking the fist not holding his daughter’s hand. "I know the great sorceress Lina Inverse won’t rest until the monster Xellos has reversed his wicked spell and paid for this heinous crime with his own, evil blood! And we, Miss Lina’s faithful allies, will fight at her side as she battles in the cause of justice and true friendship!" He jumped up and ran across the room to fall at Lina’s feet and clutch her hands in his. With tears streaming down his face, he bellowed: "I, PHILEONEL, PLEGE MY LOYALTY TO YOU, LINA INVERSE, IN THE NOBLE QUEST FOR JUSTICE WHICH LIES BEFORE YOU! TOGETHER WE WILL BRING THE EVIL XELLOS TO JUSTICE AND FORCE HIM TO RESTORE ZELGADIS GREYWERS TO THE MAN MY AMELIA LOVES AS A TRUE FRIEND AND COMRADE!"
        "Uh…" Lina sneezed, "Phil, I think it’s a little more than friend—"
        "YES!" Amelia hopped to her feet to keep Lina from spilling the beans about her feelings for Zelgadis, since they were a little bit compromised at the moment due to his recent behavior problems. "I, TOO, PLEDGE MY LOYALTY ANEW TO LINA INVERSE AND VOW TO BRING THE EVIL MONSTER XELLOS METALLIUM TO JUSTICE AND FORCE HIM TO TURN ZELGADIS BACK TO NORMAL!"
        Jessica and Lita jiggled their fingers in their ears and shook their heads. "Do that over here," Jessica sneered and pointed to her left, "I can still hear a little out of this ear—"
        "YOU MOCK THE CAUSE OF JUSTICE?!" Phil and Amelia shrieked.
        Jessica gulped. "What does justice have to do with screaming at the top of your—"
        "You can’t possibly understand what I’m feeling!" Amelia sobbed and shook her fists dramatically.
        "—lungs, or interrupting people when they’re trying to reply to—"
        "Zelgadis is my dearest, truest friend in all the world!"
        Lina scratched her head. "I thought that was Phil…"
        "—your questions!" Jessica finished with a huff and stuffed the rest of her cookie in her mouth with a vengeance.
        Amelia ignored the kitsune and blinked at Lina, then went back to her ranting pose. "Aside from my daddy, of course!" She winked. "That’s a given, Miss Lina, don’t interrupt me when I’m on a roll, ok?"
Lina sighed and buried her face in her hands. "My bad. I should know better by now. Please continue."
        Amelia posed again. "RIGHT! We will fight to the bitter end to—"
        "Give it a rest already, Amelia," Zelgadis sighed. "I am what I am unless I can find a spell to turn me back into a human. If we can make Xellos suffer while looking for this spell, that’s gravy, but we don’t need to make speeches about it."
        The Princess deflated in the face of his withering stare and slunk back to her chair to sulk into her tea. "You know I like to do that, Zelgadis," she complained with a wounded look out of the corner of her eye. "It’s just this thing I do. Like you being grumpy all the time, or Miss Lina beating up bandits, or Mr. Gourry being dense. You don’t have to be such a jerk about it just because you have the worst luck in the world."
        Zel glared. So she was going to be like that, was she? "Ah, I get it," he yawned back at her, "now you’re playing the jilted lover."
        Amelia didn’t take the bait. She took a prim sip of her tea then turned an indulgent smile on the disgusted chimera, who was trying very hard to be cool. "Well, since my only competition is Xellos, I can only assume you don’t really like women, Zelgadis. I wish you would’ve told us about this from the start—"
        "I am not gay."
        Lina scrubbed her face with her hands in absolute frustration and wished Urlich would return with news of Gourry and Zhara. Or Xellos would show up and kidnap Zel or Amelia this time. Anything to stop their catfight. "You guys…"
        Phil stomped over to stand where Amelia and Zelgadis could see him with hands on his hips, and one giant boot tapping out an angry rhythm on the carpet. "Amelia, this undignified behavior is—"
        "Daddy?" Amelia said sweetly, shutting Phil down in a snap. "I think Miss Lina is out of handkerchiefs. Could you please ask the servants to bring her more?"
        Phil gulped. There was something terrible in his little girl’s eyes that put a chill in his mighty belly. He never imagined he’d see her look so hard and…what was it? He took a step back and looked over his shoulder to see if Lina really was out of hankies. She was, but he wasn’t going to let Amelia have her way when she clearly wasn’t herself.
        Lita came to his rescue. She jumped out of her chair and all but ran for the door. "I’ll get them!"
        Phil watched her until the door closed behind her, then returned his attention to his daughter. "Amelia," he began carefully, "I don’t like the tone in your voice, or that mean look in your eyes. I know you’ve suffered terribly in the past few hours, more than you seem to realize. Maybe you should lie down for a while—"
        "No."
        Phil set his jaw and bent down till he was eye to eye with his stubborn offspring. They locked wills for a few seconds, then Amelia caved in and started to cry. Then with a miserable wail, she threw herself into his arms and sobbed in earnest.
        Zelgadis rolled his eyes and turned his back on them so neither they nor Lina would see the little smile that curled his lip as Amelia’s grief and confusion washed over him.
        Jessica did see it, though. The ancient priestess carefully set her tea cup and saucer onto the table in front of her, trading them for a bronze statuette of a horse and rider that sat nearby. She took the statuette and went to stand by Zelgadis’ chair. As soon as he turned to look at her, she clocked him with the statuette, then returned smugly to her seat, feeling like she’d done her good deed for the day.
        The others watched in wide-eyed astonishment as Zelgadis reeled for a few seconds, then fell off his chair and landed face first in the carpet.
        "Jerk," Jessica muttered and poured herself a fresh cup of tea.

        When Urlich finally returned with Gourry, it was two hours after he’d left to investigate his sister’s tardiness. Lina laid into him straight away. "You jerk! Why didn’t you come back and tell me Gourry was ok first?! I’ve been over here, worried out of my mind, not knowing if Gourry was alive or—mrf?!"
        Gourry crushed Lina against him and shut her up with a heartfelt kiss which was very romantic until she sneezed. To his credit, Gourry didn’t gross out, he just took the hankie Jessica offered and cleaned up his face with it. Jessica gave him a second one, which he passed to Lina, who blew her nose into it then apologized for ruining the mood. "How’d you get a cold?" He asked her in a voice that was a ghost of its usual self.
        Lina’s heart clenched. "Forget that! What happened to you? You sound terrible!" She led him to the couch and sat him down next to Jessica, who poured him a cup of tea. Lina sat next to him and offered him a cookie.
        Gourry wolfed down the cookie and chugged the tea in three huge gulps. "Xellos put me in his pocket, but I beat him with Firedrake. Then Zhara took me out of the pocket, but Xellos found us in the cave and we fought him with Ullan and Zellan and Sylph and—" he paused and turned slightly pale at the memory of Naga. "Naga. She’s scary, Lina. How did you put up with her all those years?"
        Lina wanted to hug him but she decided they’d displayed enough public affection for one afternoon. "Oh, she’s not so bad after you get used to her. The trick is getting used to her. She didn’t cackle for you, did she?"
        He shook his head. "Zhara wouldn’t let her. It makes Ullan faint." Everybody just sort of blinked at him at that, so he added with a shrug: "That’s what Zellan told me. He said Naga’s laugh made Ullan faint. He told me Naga likes Ullan best. That’s when Zhara hit him, and Ullan fainted. But Naga didn’t cackle. I would’ve remembered that."
        Urlich sighed and shook his head. "I can’t believe you sent that horrible woman to work with Zhara’s sensitive boys. What were you thinking, Lina?"
        Lina blushed and twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. "Well, they wanted to have a world class hot springs resort, and Naga is the world’s foremost expert on hot springs. I just thought she could help, that’s all." She looked up at Urlich with pleading eyes and asked faintly: "They don’t hate me, do they?"
        Url snorted: "Much to my complete amazement, no. Go figure. I’d have killed you if you’d sic’d that witch on me after I’d been as nice to you as Ullan was."
        "Yeah, well speaking of killing people," Lina accused with a nasty glare at Urlich to leave no confusion about who she was thinking of doing in," why couldn’t you just transport Gourry here with you instead of dragging him through the cave? Or were you guys just hanging around at Zhara’s for the past two hours, without a thought for our feelings?"
        "I was thinking about your feelings!" Gourry protested. "Url said I was too big for him to bring me here like that."
        Lina gave Urlich a superior smirk. "Guess you’re just not powerful enough, eh, Url?"
        Urlich didn’t look miffed in the slightest. "Actually, no, I’m not. I only look like my father, I don’t have his power. Mind you," he added with that Xellos-like finger wiggle and wink he did just to irritate Lina, "I’m still very powerful in other areas."
        His healing ability popped immediately into Lina’s minds. She’d watched him bring Amelia back from being a Vampire and keep Sylph from Death’s door single-handedly. He’d needed Amelia’s and Lina’s help to save Sylph, but Lina had wondered then if he could’ve handled it solo if he hadn’t healed Amelia and sustained very serious wounds to himself fighting Zelgadis that same day. He’d also been able to cast Spirit Transfer, despite his Mazoku half. Furthermore, according to Zelgadis, Urlich was a very accomplished swordsman. He just couldn’t teleport a grown man.
        Urlich shifted in his chair and jabbed a finger at Lina. "While we’re on the subject of my father, I went into my closet to find a new cravat, only to discover he put stains on every one of them—and stole my favorite suit!"
        Lina giggled in spite of herself. She could think of no better way to get Url’s goat than to mess with his wardrobe. "Gee, Url, you’ve got my shiny gold piece. Why don’t you go buy yourself a new scarf with it?"
        Urlich dug her coin out his pocket and threw it at her. Lina snatched it out of the air with a triumphant: "Lucky!" and tucked it into her pocket.
        "’Lucky’, my ass," he grouched at her. "It’s not even real gold, and you know it!"
        "Eh?" Lina blinked at him in puzzlement, then her expression darkened and she pulled the coin out of her pocket for close examination. Yes, it was definitely the coin she’d given to Urlich to pay for his torn cravat. She bit it, leaving dents in its surface, then tasted her teeth. Damn, she couldn’t taste anything with her nose all stuffed up.
        "Trust me," Url told her with a sigh, "it’s fake. I’m guessing brass plated with gold to fool a greedy sorceress like Lina Inverse. I guess some bandit gang got the best of you, eh, Lina?"
        "Shut up." Lina threw the coin back at him. She usually could tell real gold from fake just by looking at it. Yeah, some bandits were probably having a good laugh at her expense. Then again, she’d used some of that same "gold" to buy a few meals, so ha-ha on those suckers!
        "So what happened in the cave?" Jessica asked. The story Urlich and Gourry told of the battle with Xellos in the cavern wasn’t at all what she’d expected. Specifically, she hadn’t expected it to take all those sorcerers, including three who were actually related to him, to keep Xellos at bay. He must’ve been very determined, she thought, then realized that if that were true, Xellos could probably have blasted the lot and escaped with only minor damage. So why hadn’t he? And why hadn’t Zhara taken Firedrake and used it against her father, as it was intended to be used, instead of leaving it in the hands of a newbie? This definitely called for a conference with Zhara, since Urlich had told them he hadn’t quizzed his sister, being more concerned with getting Gourry back to Seyruun."All of those sorcerers couldn’t break his protective barrier?" She asked Gourry incredulously.
        He shook his head.
        "And neither could Firedrake," Jessica pressed him.
        Another head shake. "Nope. But I don’t really know how to use it except to shoot fire at Xellos. Zhara says it can do a lot more than that. She gave me a book about it—Url has it."
        Urlich produced a small, leatherbound book from his coat pocket and tossed it to Gourry. "Don’t lose it this time."
        Everyone in the room, even Phil and Lita raised their eyebrows at that. Gourry blushed and handed the book to Lina for safe keeping. "It was dark and I dropped it, ok? Gee, Url, you didn’t have to tell everybody! Especially after I saved you from that slug thing."
        Jessica’s and Zelgadis’ jaws dropped. "You don’t mean—" Zelgadis began.
        "—the soul-eating larva?" Jessica finished in astonishment.
        Gourry’s face lit up. "That’s it!"
        "You killed the soul-eating larva?" Jessica and Zelgadis exclaimed.
        "Yeah…" Gourry told them, a little bit confused by their reactions. "It’s just a stupid slug. Gee, you guys, you’d think it was something really dangerous, like a Dark Lord, or something!"
        The look on Jessica’s face was so priceless, Urlich laughed himself to tears. His kitsune lover was not amused. "It’s not funny, Url! He killed the soul-eating larva!"
        Urlich made slashing motions with his hand. "Whack! Whack! No more larva! Gourry the Slug Slayer! Heehee!"
        "I don’t have to take this," Gourry muttered. He got up, took Lina by the hand and headed for the door. "Come on, Lina, you can help me study up on Firedrake." He snatched a handful of handkerchiefs and stuffed them in his belt on the way out, then slammed the door behind him and Lina.
        "The mighty Slug Slayer of Light!" Urlich giggled. "He was really pretty good."
        Jessica sighed. "Url, you’re such a jerk."
        "Hit him with the horse," Zelgadis suggested dryly and pointed at the statuette on the table in front of Jessica, "seems to be the way to deal with jerks today."

        In the lair of the mighty Mazoku Lord Beast Master…
        "Xellos!" L-Sama crooned with delight as soon as the Trickster made his entrance in Urlich’s favorite suit and second-best cravat. "I love this look! That suit is simply fabulous! Why haven’t you robbed Urlich’s wardrobe before? This is so you!"
        His plans to mess with her mind deflated, Xellos plopped down into a chair next to his master with a great, big pout and grumpily accepted the cup of tea Zellas poured for him. Damn! And here he’d thought things might just start to look up. At least he could count on Urlich being really put out over his stained collection of cravats and the knowledge that his hated father was tooling around in his best suit. He really should spill something on it before putting it back in Url’s closet. Something that wouldn’t come out in the wash.
        The Lord of Nightmares held out a tray and asked him sweetly: "Cookie?"
        "Yeah, sure, what the hell," Xellos thought in disgust and took a cookie from the plate. What he said with a charming smile was: "Why thank you, My Lady, don’t mind if I do. You look lovely today. Is that a new frock?" Ooh, this was definitely going to be a very painful afternoon.