I Love You, Man!
Feel enthusiastic about everything... begin to annoy friends. -The Tragically Hip
Brief Introductory Note on the Matters of the Princesses of Seyruun and Spoilers:
Like many Slayers fans, I'd heard the rumor about Naga and Amelia actually being sisters,
however I'd also read on numerous Slayers sites that it just wasn't so. Then I received an
email from QP/Diana, who does the chapter art for this series and is an incredible source
of Slayers knowlege. She asked how I was going to write the meeting of Naga and Amelia,
the estranged Princesses of Seyruun. I said I'd heard they weren't really sisters, to
which she replied that the creator of Slayers wrote in a companion book that they are
sisters; Naga is Gracia, the runaway Princess of Seyruun. The back story is really
interesting, and I'll be telling it in the next few chapters of ZOTR, with help from my
friend QP. You won't believe where Naga got that goofy outfit.
As for spoilers, I put lots of them in ZOTR but
even more in this chapter. I have the good fortune to have seen all of Slayers Try, thanks
to the hard work of the fansubbing community. Mind you, I've only seen half of Next at
this point, since I'm getting it through commercial releases, so if I biff a fact, let me
know. Just don't bug me about my spellings. I went with the only ones I knew when I
started writing Slayers fics, which were the spellings used on the commercial subtitled
versions of the first series. I didn't get to see that nice map of the world at the
beginning of Next until that series went into commercial North American release this year.
Sometimes I'm a little embarrassed about it, but QP told me not to worry about it too
much. I imagine she's seen worse. Come to think of it, I've seen worse.
So! I extend my most humble and heartfelt
thanks to QP/Diana for all her help with Slayers trivia and all of her other contributions
to this site. Please visit hers: QP
House!
Zapheth was a one horse-hitch town, that
hitch being in front of the inn where Zelgadis’ party had stopped for the night. The
inn was just about all there was, except for the blacksmith and carriage shop, which were
out back of the inn. Zapheth was the last stop before one entered Seyruun and was usually
a place where travelers rested up before entering the great city to face the masses. Its
inn was known for good food and was also convenient enough to the city for those who
couldn’t afford Seyruun’s higher prices but still wanted a delicious meal and a
comfortable bed (and didn’t mind the one-hour ride, either way). Also, the coffee was
mighty tasty, as Xellos quickly discovered. His son, who sat across the table from him,
was developing a taste for the inn’s home brew and wracking his brains out to find a
way to get rid of his father. He knew Xellos well enough to realize that if he really
wanted him to get lost, he must under no circumstances lead the man to believe his
presence wasn’t wanted. It would only make him more curious and determined to hang
around. Url knew he was fighting an uphill battle. First of all, two of their party were
people Xellos had taken a deep interest in: Zelgadis and Princess Amelia. Second,
they’d been able to get at information inside a tomb Xellos hadn’t been able
even see inside, much less enter. Oh well, nothing ventured…
Urlich bought himself another beer, had the
waitress top off his father’s coffee, then had a go at convincing Beast Master’s
nosy servant to hit the highway.
"We talked about it and decided it would
be best if you went along, Dad," he explained casually. Holding up a gloved hand, he
ticked off reasons on his fingers: "First of all, you’ve been around a while and
have a curious mind. You know things—lots of secrets—which might be helpful to
us. Second, you work for one of the oldest Mazoku Lords, who also happens to be a big fan
of arcane knowledge. Third, Zelgadis is having a tough time adjusting to his new nature.
Much as he hates the idea, you really are the only person who can teach him to control and
use it." Urlich smirked, as if sharing a joke with his father, and added: "He
hated my even suggesting such a notion, and nobody else agreed with me that that was a
good idea, but," he shrugged, "facts are facts. The monster in him is you. I can
only help to a certain extent, since I’m half dragon."
"Never stopped you before," Xellos
interrupted with a giggle and blew on his coffee. "You can’t fool me, Url. You
don’t want me along, but since you have a few things I want, I’m afraid
you’re just going to have to put up with my company. I won’t go away, and none
of you has the power to destroy me—"
"Singly, no," Urlich admitted,
"but if we combine our power and use Firedrake…" He let the sentence go
unfinished, leaving the result to Xellos’ imagination.
"You’d have to catch me first,"
Xellos smirked, "and deal with my master, who would just make another me…right
after she reduced all of you to your component molecules."
Url grinned: "She’d have to catch us
first. And who’s to say the Lord of Nightmares wouldn’t decide she’s had
enough of you and use Lina Inverse to do to you and Zellas what she did to Shabranigdo and
Hell Master?"
Xellos choked on his coffee.
"It could happen," Url chirped.
"And I think we can safely assume you’re still on her shit list. Not to mention
the fact that I still haven’t paid you back for soiling my cravats and stealing one
of my best suits."
Xellos glared. "Urlich my boy, you’re
a wonderful monster but a terrible son."
"I’ll take that as a compliment. Now
go away."
"Let me finish my coffee first,"
Xellos smiled, "then we can talk about it some more."
Urlich rolled his eyes and sighed. The hill had
just turned into a mountain. "Dad, I mean it. Get lost."
"What was in that mausoleum?" Xellos
asked with a sweet smile. "A spell, perhaps? Zelgadis’ cure, or maybe just a
part of it? I’m sure if the whole thing was in that tomb, the whole Seyruun army
couldn’t have forced Zelgadis to leave, but here he is in Zapheth."
He’s just guessing, Urlich reminded
himself. There was no way Xellos could know anything about the interior of the tomb or its
importance to Zelgadis. The only person the Lord of Nightmares had told about Zel’s
cure being in pieces was Jessica, knowing she’d tell Zelgadis and his companions,
none of whom was named Xellos.
"Like I’d tell you," Url
retorted and sipped beer. Suddenly, he had an inspiration. "Why are you so interested
in Zelgadis, anyway? He’s no longer in danger of becoming the world’s most
terrifying Dark Lord, so why bother with him?" He leaned his elbows on the table and
grinned at Xellos. "Tell you what, Dad, let’s make a trade: You tell me why
Zelgadis is so important to you, and I’ll tell you why we left Seyruun in such a
great, big hurry."
Xellos made a big show of thinking about it,
which told Urlich his father had no intention of trading anything and probably had an ace
up his sleeve to boot. "No, I don’t think so. I know more than you do. How about
this: You tell me what’s in Dr. Sorez’ tomb, and I’ll tell you about the
monster I saw outside her bedroom this evening."
Urlich raised an eyebrow.
"’Monster’? Outside her bedroom? Oh, who could that be? Let me
see…could it be…YOU? Nice try, Dad. You’re getting rusty."
Xellos chuckled and shook his head. "Not
me. I said the monster I saw outside her window, indicating someone other than me."
Urlich leaned back in his seat and ran his
finger along the rim of his mug, a thoughtful frown on his face. "Lita said a monster
was following her. I guess it found her. No big surprise, there. I suppose you know who it
is?"
"What’s in the tomb?"
"You first."
There was a long silence, while father and son
stared into each other’s eyes, then suddenly Urlich laughed and snapped his fingers
for the waitress to bring him a refill. "You don’t know who it is, do you? I
can’t believe it: A monster Xellos can’t identify. So what did it look
like?"
Xellos smirked, relieved that he still had an
angle. "Tell me what’s in the tomb, and I’ll give you a description. Maybe
it’s someone you know, Url."
The waitress traded Urlich’s empty mug for
a full one, bending down very low to give him a view of her chest, which seemed to want to
jump out of her top. Urlich very casually dropped a nice, cold silver piece into her
cleavage to see if her breasts would pop out of her blouse when she startled. Much to his
disappointment, they didn’t, but he made a new friend, so the prank wasn’t a
total wash.
"Aren’t you a little old for that
sort of thing?" Xellos teased as he watched the girl fish around in her shirt for
Url’s tip in spite of himself. "And you with a girlfriend, too. Urlich, you
scumbag!"
"Nonsense," Urlich replied with an
indignant huff. "She put them in my face for that very purpose. I was just being a
good customer. At least I don’t have to change my form to get laid."
Xellos licked his lips and glared hot death
across the table. "I’ll never live that down, will I?"
Urlich smiled around his beer and shook his
head. "Not in a million years. So tell me about our new friend."
"The girl?"
"The monster."
"The tomb."
Urlich sighed. "Guess we’ll just have
to find out the hard way. Thanks anyway, Dad. Finish your coffee and go home, there’s
nothing for you here."
"I beg to differ!" Xellos was all
wide-eyed innocence as he smiled at his offspring and ticked off the reasons he insisted
upon staying. "There’s Zelgadis, Amelia, Lina, Lita-Lara, the mystery monster,
the contents of the mausoleum, Zel’s quest and the misery his new nature is bound to
cause him every time it runs into his conscience! Why, the fine cuisine that’s sure
to be produced whenever Zelgadis opens his mouth is worth the trip!" He took a quick
sip of his coffee and giggled. "You’ll have to kill me to keep me away from this
one, son…then kill the next me, and the next me and the next me…"
"Ok, ok! I get the idea!" Urlich
growled. "We’re stuck with you." He held up a finger to cut off the zinger
that was written all over Xellos’ face: "But we still won’t tell you
what’s in the tomb."
"Fine," Xellos pouted, "then I
won’t help you identify the mystery monster."
Urlich shrugged. "I’m sure between
me, Jessica and Lina we can figure it out."
"What’s that?" Xellos held his
hand to his ear with an incredulous look on his face. "Can that be respect for the
lovely and talented Miss Inverse I hear my son’s voice? I thought you didn’t
like her!"
"I don’t like Amelia and
Zelgadis," Urlich corrected, refusing to be goaded. "I respect Lina as a
sorceress and Gourry Gabriev as a swordsman. Where did you get that I didn’t respect
Lina?"
"The cravat thing," Xellos shrugged.
"I hear she paid you with fake gold, too. Ouch."
"This from the man who destroyed every
other cravat I own and paid me not a single copper piece in recompense…"
Xellos’ cheeks colored and he giggled
self-consciously. "You’ve had those for ages! It was time for new ones, so I
decided to give you the incentive you needed to go shopping."
Url rubbed the bridge of his nose and wondered
if the version of Xellos Beast Master would make if he destroyed the original would be
that much worse than this one. Then he decided as he usually did that this one was a known
quantity, and known quantities were better than unknown quantities. "Dad, you’re
really good at being a monster, you know that?"
Xellos toasted Urlich with his coffee mug and
grinned from ear to ear. "Why, thank you, Son! That’s the nicest thing
anybody’s said to me all night!"
"Enjoy it while you can, you annoying
little bastard."
In the morning, the rest of the crew rolled
out of bed and into the inn’s common room to find Urlich and Xellos at a corner
table, drinking coffee and eating breakfast. Urlich was enjoying an enormous omelet and
toast smothered in butter, while Xellos picked at a fruit cup, looking like he’d
never eaten that sort of thing before. Zelgadis took one look at his nemesis and
would’ve stormed out of the inn if his companions hadn’t held him back. "If
you get mad at him," Lina hissed in his ear, "you’ll just use up energy.
And there’s no way you’re keeping me from a big breakfast, so just get some
coffee and deal with it!"
Zelgadis growled at her but realized she was
right. Getting all worked up at Xellos after going a whole night without pissing off his
friends would only wear him out. Anyway, he could use this quality time to instigate a
little trouble, so he, too, could have a nice, big breakfast. The trick would be keeping
Xellos from hogging all the bad vibes for himself. Unfortunately, Zelgadis hadn’t the
first clue how to do that but looked upon it as an opportunity for experimentation. He had
to learn how to control his intake and use of energy if he was going to survive
Amelia’s next big speech, which Zel knew would come, in spite of her promise not to
do that in front of him. Like she was so fond of telling him, feel-good speeches were in
her blood, she just couldn’t help herself when she felt one coming on.
Little did he know, but while the others had
slept, the Princess had concocted a plan to get rid of Xellos that she was pretty sure
would work, though she felt a little guilty about the effect it would have on Zelgadis.
"Good morning, Princess," Xellos
beamed and was disappointed when that didn’t seem to dim Amelia’s perky
disposition in the least, "pleasant dreams?"
"You should know," she shot back
cheerfully. "Didn’t you like my sunshine and happy daisies?"
"They were lovely," Xellos played
along, "but Urlich showed up, and I had to entertain him. I’m sorry if my sudden
departure offended you."
"Oh, not at all," she chirped,
"I understand completely. I wanted to be alone, anyway. So, did you and Mr. Urlich
have a nice talk?"
Xellos offered her some of his fruit and was a
little surprised when she took a piece and popped it in her mouth with a polite
"thank you, Mr. Xellos". "Actually," Xellos explained as the others
settled in around the table, and Lina flagged down a waiter, "we didn’t
accomplish as much as I would’ve liked." He nodded to Lara and smiled.
"Good morning, Miss Sorez! Which one are you this morning, by the way? I
wouldn’t want to make a mistake."
Zelgadis fought down a smile. That’s the
way to do it: Waste no time and go straight for the soft, fleshy part. Thank you, Xellos,
for turning the tone of the conversation from happiness to frustration. He hated the guy,
but Zel had to admit Xellos was a pro.
Lara bit her lip, then decided to follow
Amelia’s lead and turned it into a polite smile. "Lara. How thoughtful of you to
ask. Is the fruit very fresh?"
Xellos was annoyed, but his smiled never
dipped. "It’s delicious. Don’t you agree, Your Highness?"
Amelia nodded emphatically. "Very!
There’s nothing better than fresh fruit first thing in the morning! Nice, fresh,
juicy, sweet fruit—like sunshine you can eat!"
Zelgadis found himself feeling a tad queasy.
"That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, even out of your mouth,
Amelia."
Amelia wavered for only an instant, then her
grin broadened and her eyes lit up with stars. She pointed out the window at the bright,
sunshiny day and sighed: "The sunshine that has dawned on this, the first day of our
noble quest, shines like the golden light of hope—the hope that fills a heart
dedicated to justice and love for all people! Even monster-people like you, Xellos, and
almost-monster-people like you, Zelgadis!" She wiped a joyful tear from her eye, then
clutched her hands to her breast and declared: "I love you, Mr. Xellos! You’re
the best monster there ever was! You’re so evil and tricky, such a tribute to your
ancient race—which, though unlike my own, is just as deserving of love and
respect!" She jumped out of her chair, ran around the table and threw her arms around
the astonished Trickster Priest’s shoulders in a bear hug worthy of Prince Phil.
"Oh, Xellos, I’ve been so wrong to hate you! I see now that you’re a
beautiful person, just the way you are!"
Zelgadis fainted face down onto the tabletop.
"From now on," Amelia continued,
"I’ll be your biggest cheerleader! Always picking up your spirits when your
confidence is low! Always there to tell you what a great monster you are, when everybody
else condemns you for a nature that’s beyond your control! You’re a monster and
you’re proud of it, Mr. Xellos, and I’m proud, too!" She gave him a big,
sloppy kiss on the cheek. "I love you just the way you are!"
Xellos turned pale, then made a sickening noise
and disappeared.
Urlich blinked at his father’s empty chair
for a few seconds, then shook his head in wonderment. "Now why didn’t I think of
that? Amelia, you’re a genius, and I’ll even forgive you for breaking your
promise to me." He pointed at the unconscious Zelgadis, and Amelia’s face turned
red.
"Oops," she coughed. "Well,
I’m sure we’ll argue about something later, so he’ll be ok, right?"
Lina sighed: "Amelia…"
Amelia gave her an innocent look. "What? I
got rid of him, didn’t I? Now we can talk about our mission!"
"Don’t you think we need him
for that?" Lara asked and pointed at Zelgadis, who still had his face in the
tabletop.
Amelia blushed as she sat down in Xellos’
abandoned chair to work on waking up Zel, but Gourry beat her to it.
"I can wake him up real fast!" The
swordsman declared proudly. "Watch this!" He pointed at Lina with a big belly
laugh and snorted: "Those are the tiniest breasts I’ve ever seen! In fact, I
can’t believe I can see them, they’re so small!"
Lina’s fork snapped in her hand.
"Gourry…if you want some action tonight, think of a better way to wake
him—HEY! That’s my sausage! Give that back, Amelia!"
"Ooh, Gourry’s right," Urlich
added with exaggerated thoughtfulness, "Lina’s tits are tiny."
"Urlich…" Jessica and Lina
growled at the same time.
"Do you have a deathwish, Mister?"
Lina snapped.
Zelgadis groaned and sat up, rubbing his head.
"That was uncalled for, Amelia. You promised you wouldn’t do that!"
Amelia resisted the urge to welcome him back to
the waking world with a big, happy hug and settled for: "Good morning,
Zelgadis," in a tone that passed for sarcasm with her. "How was your nap?"
Zel looked around and immediately noticed Lina
was ready to explode, and Xellos was missing. Ah, so that was Amelia’s plan: Chase
the Trickster away by smothering him with love and happiness. Sometimes she was so
diabolical he wondered if Lina wasn’t rubbing off on her. He’d find it endearing
if her methods didn’t make him faint. They must have decided to revive him by
angering Lina, who he had to admit had the shortest fuse in the group. Just mention her
breasts or steal her food and you shot to the top of her fireball list. Since the room
showed no signs of violent or incendiary attack, Zel guessed he’d awakened before the
brave (stupid) souls who’d insulted Lina had gone too far.
"Got rid of Xellos, I see," he
snickered at Amelia. "Nice job." He grinned at Lina, who was just calming down
and added: "Are you stuffing today? Your breasts look larger for some reason."
Lina’s face turned red and she was all
ready to throw a fireball when she caught Amelia’s eye and changed her mind. In a
jiffy, her angry snarl turned to an adoring sigh, and her eyes sparkled with loving stars.
She clasped Zelgadis’ hands in hers and gushed: "Oh, Zel, do you really mean it?
Do my breasts look bigger today? You’re the best friend a girl could—"
THUNK!
"—have. Heh. That’ll teach you
to mess with Lina Inverse, pal! Anybody else have something to say about my
breasts?!"
Much later, after laying ground rules that
forbid anybody from going on a lovey-dovey rant, or going off on Lina for any reason, the
gang managed to finish their breakfast and settle down to business. Since Zelgadis had
gotten himself unceremoniously booted out of Seyruun the night before, they’d had no
time to recap the clues they’d found in the fresco. Once they finished eating,
Jessica ordered them a round of coffee, and they got to it.
"Ok!" Lina sighed as she stirred
cream into her coffee. "Let’s blow by blow it, shall we? Right!" The others
nodded, and Lina stood up and proceeded to tick the clues off on her fingers. "Clue
number one: The Gold Dragon rune for ‘twins’ on a piece of Shabranigdo. We
agreed that meant Urlich and Zhara, which points us to Marrigan. So I figure we’ll
find something useful in Zhara’s horde, or elsewhere in the city. Jessica and Urlich,
we’re counting on you to guide us in our search."
Url and Jessica nodded. Url opened his mouth to
say something, but Lina plowed on.
"The other clue we’re pretty positive
about is the battle ground of Seifeid and Shabranigdo, a place we four," she pointed
to herself, Gourry, Amelia and Zelgadis, "are familiar with. Also, we have a pretty
good contact over there who might be able to help us."
"Who’s that?" Jessica asked.
"Anyone I might have heard of?"
Lina shrugged. "Her name is Filia ul Copt.
She’s a Gold Dragon shrine maiden. We did some work for her Elders a while
back."
"Saved the world from Dark Star, if you
must know," Zelgadis interjected as he took a sip of coffee.
Urlich’s jaw dropped. "That was YOU?!
I thought that was Luna Inverse, not Lina. How did you get involved?"
Lina fumed, while Zelgadis explained blithely:
"Luna couldn’t make it, so she told Filia to get Lina to do it. Lina didn’t
do too bad for second string."
"I thought we agreed you weren’t
going to pick on me," Lina growled.
Zel shrugged. "Just stating the facts. You
were saying about the clues…?"
Lina grinned. "Oh, Zelgadis, you’re
my most beloved and bestest friend in the whole, wide world!"
He gagged. "Ok, ok! Point taken. I’m
sorry. Please continue."
"Any other questions about clue number
two?" Lina asked. Lara raised her hand, and Lina pointed to her. "Yes,
Lara?"
"Is it true that you visited the burial
grounds of the Ancient Dragons on that journey?" She asked. "And that all but
two of the race of Gold Dragons were slaughtered there as you watched—or did you help
destroy them?"
Lina frowned. "I was defending them
against very powerful warriors from another world and, yes, the dragons died. What’s
your point?"
She shrugged with a sly little smile.
"Just clarifying a rumor I heard a few months ago. Nothing important."
Pause.
Lina put her palms on the table and leaned over
it to put her face closer to Lara’s as she asked in her most not-innocent innocent
voice. "What rumor?"
Everyone looked at Lara, who absently twirled a
lock of hair around her finger as she met Lina’s stare with a steady one of her own.
"That Lina Inverse and Xellos Metallium brought the Gold Dragons close to extinction
at the grave of the Ancient Dragons, then took one of the ancient weapons so they could
let Dark Star into the world."
"You thought I was conspiring with
Xellos?!" Lina shrieked. "What planet have you been living on, sister? Xellos is
the enemy! He’s a monster! A big, bad, really powerful monster who likes to follow me
around for some reason! But that doesn’t mean I’m his partner, or even like
him!"
"But you kissed him in Marrigan,
didn’t you?" Zelgadis asked quietly.
"HE KISSED ME!" Lina roared back.
"AND IT WAS AGAINST MY WILL!"
Pause.
"Don’t get your panties in a wad,
Lina," Zel grinned, "I just got my story wrong. Thank you for setting me
straight."
Jessica stood up and pounded her fist on the
table to stop the argument before it went any farther. "We are getting nothing
accomplished like this! We agreed we wouldn’t make touchy-feely speeches or
antagonize Lina. Zelgadis, knock it off, or I’ll have Princess Amelia touchy-feely
you into a coma! Got it?!" She stabbed a clawed finger in Lara’s face and added:
"That goes for you, too! Ye gods, I feel like I’m running a day care!"
Neither Zelgadis nor Lara looked in the least
bit repentant, but they said they’d behave, so Jessica figured she’d have to
make due with that until one of them got out of line again.
"Have a speech handy," she told
Amelia sternly, "I don’t want you getting stage fright if I need your unique
talent to whip these kits into shape."
Amelia nodded with a diabolical gleam in her
eyes that just about melted Zelgadis’ heart. She really enjoyed making him suffer, he
was sure of it. Just one step away from a monster’s nature. No wonder Xellos was so
interested in her… Zel smirked to himself and thought: "Get in line, you fruity
bastard."
Jessica forced herself to ignore the sneer on
Zelgadis’ face and turned to Lina instead. "Lina? Please continue. I believe you
were on clue number three."
Lina took a deep breath, glared at Zelgadis and
Lara in turn, then smiled at Jessica and took up her narrative where she’d left off.
"Clue number three is the White Knight that was in Amelia’s vision and at
Shabranigdo’s feet in the fresco. The only thing we could imagine he stood for was a
Knight of Seifeid. Ok, clue number four—"
"You forgot to mention who we think the
Knight is," Urlich reminded her. "Your own sister, Luna Inverse, but I think you
said something about her being more concerned with running her restaurant…"
Lina gulped and nodded. Her heart raced
painfully at the very thought of facing her sister and she started to feel light headed.
"Um, yeah. That’s true."
Gourry touched her arm and asked with great
concern: "Are you ok, Lina? You’re not gonna faint or bury yourself again, are
you? I mean, if you don’t think you’re up to talking to your sister, we can do
it and just tell her you’re sick, or something."
Lina struggled to breathe and stay conscious.
"Can we talk about this later?"
Gourry squeezed her hand. "Sure, Lina.
Um…I think you’re on number four."
Big, deep breath. The room swam before her
eyes, and Lina had to steady herself against the table. Luna. She prayed another Knight of
Seifeid would materialize to spare her from having to face her big sister, who had sworn
to never let her live down that one time in their childhood when Lina had put a live image
of her bathing, right where the whole village could see it: Up in the sky. She’d
endured beatings, burnings, tongue lashings and worse at Luna’s hands. If Luna ever
discovered she’d stolen the Giga Slave spell out of that trunk in her bedroom, Lina
knew she was d-e-a-d. She’d put the book back after memorizing the spell, but it was
the principle of the thing: She’d picked the lock to get at the book. Maybe Luna did
know and that was why she was so mean! Oh gods! Lina felt her knees give way, but she
didn’t faint, just sat down and took a nice pull off her coffee to calm herself.
"I’m ok," she assured the group,
"just give me a second." Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, chug coffee,
swallow, go! "Clue number four also comes from Amelia’s vision and appears on
another of the pieces of Shabranigdo: The glyph for L-Sama, which is in the shape of a
bird of prey. In Amelia’s vision it had a mandrake root in its talons, and the root
turned into the Knight. Not sure what that was all about, though it’s common
knowledge that mandrake roots are a symbol of humanity because of their shape, which looks
like a man (hence the name). Could mean a human Knight of Seifeid. Or we could be way off
base, and the Knight refers to something or somebody else.
"Clue number five comes from the mind of
Gourry. There was an awful lot of fire in that painting, so we figure it’s important.
Gourry thinks it means Firedrake and had some pretty good reasons to support his theory:
1) It has the word ‘fire’ in its name—ok, that’s a pretty weak
reason—2) Firedrake was made to kill Xellos, and it’s a piece of Xellos
we’re trying to eliminate from Zelgadis’ body, and 3)…we couldn’t come
up with a better thing for the fire to mean, so we’re going with Firedrake unless
something else comes up." She nodded to Gourry and added as an afterthought:
"Good job, Gourry."
Gourry gloated.
Zelgadis rolled his eyes. "Don’t get
a big head. Clue number six?"
Lina gave him a quick, scolding look, then
continued: "Clue number six comes from the alternate personality of the person who
claims to have painted the fresco," she gestured to Lara, who would’ve risen to
the bait if Jessica hadn’t stopped her with a look of death, which was then turned on
Lina. The sorceress cleared her throat and went on. "One of the pieces of Shabranigdo
looks like a snake to Lara. I couldn’t see it, but Url and Zelgadis said they could
see it, too, so it’s a clue. I tremble at the thought, but the only thing that comes
to my mind is my old buddy Naga the Serpent, who’s in Marrigan helping Zhara’s
kids start a hot springs resort."
Amelia squirmed in her seat and wondered if
this would be a good time to bring up a delicate family subject. Since nobody noticed her
discomfort, and Lina was just carrying on, Amelia decided now was a bad time and kept her
mouth shut. Gracia…no, she was just Naga now…big sister (really big).
They’d avoided each other for years, ever since their mother was beaten to death, and
Gracia had disappeared, assuming the identity of shamanist sorceress Naga the Serpent and
wandering about the land making trouble with Lina Inverse. At Lina’s first mention of
her old partner as they’d ridden out of Marrigan last week, Amelia’s stomach had
tightened into a knot, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to say anything at
the time. Maybe Naga just wanted to keep her royal lineage a secret. If that was the
case…well, Amelia thought maybe it would be best if she just let her sister live her
life her own way. Sure she was the eldest, the true heir to Phil’s Throne, the one
who was supposed to be shouldering all that responsibility—not gallivanting around in
public in an obscene outfit and acting like, like…like Lina Inverse! Ok, so Princess
Amelia was gallivanting around with Lina Inverse, too, but at least she wasn’t doing
it in her underwear! Furthermore, she had noble reasons for hanging with Lina, whereas
Naga was rumored to have just been in it for the money and nothing else. Anyway, if Amelia
hadn’t been running around with Lina, she never would’ve met the love of her
life, Zelgadis (even if he was sort of Xellos at the moment), so it wasn’t all bad.
Well, ok, Gourry was pretty cool, too, for a guy with jellyfish brains.
"Clue number seven," Lina was
explaining, "is either the sarcophagus or the hieroglyphs in the tomb. I think
it’s the spell on the walls, since, duh, it’s a spell, which is what we’re
trying to piece together."
"However," Jessica interrupted
politely, "the spell in the tomb is complete, which in my mind eliminates it as a
puzzle piece. More importantly, L-Sama said the clues were in the fresco, not the other
parts of the mausoleum. As I suggested last night, Seifeid could also be symbolic of
dragons but," she shrugged, "I admit it’s a stretch."
Zelgadis sat back and folded his arms across
his chest. "I wonder if some of the clues we’ve already found have dual
meanings…"
"Or if what we think are clues, really
aren’t," Urlich finished with a heavy sigh.
Amelia sighed, too. "And Zelgadis
can’t go back to Seyruun to look at the fresco again to find more clues."
"Legally," Zelgadis muttered under
his breath and covered it with a cough. He smiled innocently at Amelia over his coffee
mug. "I guess someone else would have to go back and reexamine the fresco, then.
Right, Amelia?"
She narrowed her eyes at him and grumbled:
"That’s right, Zelgadis. Somebody else…or I really will love you into a
coma!"
Zel did a spit take on his coffee and groped
around for a napkin while he choked. Amelia beamed smugly and refused to help him. "I
can do it, you know, and really enjoy it, too, so don’t mess with me, Zelgadis. I
know your weakness."
Cough-cough! "You’re beginning to
sound like *cough* Lina, Amelia."
Amelia tossed her hair and exchanged a smug
look with Lina. "So what? She’s my friend." She narrowed her eyes at him
again and added in a more sinister tone: "And I’ve learned a thing or two from
Miss Lina about dealing with monsters, which you’re becoming, in case you forgot.
I’m the ultimate weapon against monsters, and you know it."
Zelgadis groaned and flagged down a waiter for
more coffee. She was absolutely right: Her natural talent for making passionate feel-good
justice, peace and love speeches made Princess Amelia the most dangerous of anti-Mazoku
weapons. Even deadlier than a full-blown Giga Slave powered up by the Sword of Light. At
least the Giga Slave only hurt for a little bit and then the monster was dead and
didn’t have to worry about it anymore. Amelia’s tactics just kept coming back
like hives, only not as pleasant.
Jessica decided it was time to change the
subject and get the group back on track before they degenerated into a monster feast. She
cleared her throat and rapped her knuckles on the table top to get everyone’s
attention. "For now, let’s focus our attention on finding the clue in Marrigan.
Lina mentioned Zhara’s horde, but there’s another resource in Marrigan that
might be even better."
"Better than Zhara?" Lina asked
skeptically but as she spoke something nagged at her brain, some half-remembered
something…about an Elf and… Her eyes lit up with excitement, and she exclaimed:
"Do you mean—whatsisname! That old Elf wizard! Mel—Melf—"
"Melfinius Egatius," Urlich, Zhara
and Lara finished for her at the same time. Url and Jessica gave Lara a suspicious look,
and Url asked her how she knew about Melfinius, just as Lina wigged out.
The little sorceress all but jumped onto the
table with glee. "Omigods! THE Melfinius Egatius?! Of Tudrac Magical Emporium
‘If you can’t find it here, it doesn’t exist’—THAT Melfinius
Egatius?! He really exists?! And he’s in Marrigan?! Urlich!! Why didn’t you tell
me that before?!"
"More importantly," Zelgadis
interjected before Urlich could even start to reply to Lina’s question, "does
the Emporium exist?"
Urlich waved his hands in the air impatiently
to calm everybody down so he could get a word in. "Yes he exists, yes the Emporium
exists, yes they’re in Marrigan, and I didn’t get a chance to mention it before,
ok? What I want to know is," he fixed Lara with an icy glare, "how do you know
about Tudrac?"
"Hang on…" Zelgadis interrupted,
holding up a hand to keep Lara from talking. "Tudrac…Tudrac…TWO
DRAGONS!"
Urlich glared at him. "No shit, Brainiac.
It’s named after me and Zhara, who sunk a lot of money into the place. I thought
Jessica just said we should look there. Pay attention."
Zelgadis grumbled invectives into his coffee.
Well, it had seemed like a major moment of enlightenment to him, anyway. "Bet
Lara’s heard of it same way as the rest of us magic users," he muttered just
loudly enough for Urlich to hear him. "Everybody who studies magic long enough learns
about Melfinius Egatius and Tudrac. I always heard it was just a myth—and nobody ever
mentioned Marrigan."
"I heard it was pan-dimensional,"
Lina added pointedly.
Urlich rolled his eyes, but Jessica slapped her
hand onto his leg, startling him long enough for her to answer instead. "It is. Most
of the shop is below ground in a part of the catacombs Zhara set up to have the same
properties as the cavern. Melfinius’ inventory was just too big—and some of it
too dangerous—for ordinary buildings to hold it, so Zhara built the underground
showrooms for him. But the shop is based in Marrigan, though there are pan-dimensional
storefronts in a few other towns. None of the big cities, though. He likes to have an
exclusive clientele."
Lina’s eyes sparkled. "Oh, I’m
very exclusive!"
Zelgadis snorted: "I think the word
you’re looking for is ‘unique’…"
She snickered. "I love you, Zelgadis, my
very best friend in all the great, big world—"
"Ok! Ok!"
Jessica buried her face in her hand and moaned:
"Children, please! Can we stay on the subject for longer than a few minutes?"
Lina pointed at Zelgadis and Zelgadis pointed
at Lina.
"He started it!"
"She started it!"
To which Jessica retorted, loudly: "I
don’t care who started it, it stops now!"
Lina and Zelgadis dropped their eyes to their
laps and twiddled their thumbs. "Well, he did…" Lina pouted and kicked
Zelgadis under the table. He kicked back and soon they were mired in a kicking match.
"I can’t work with these
people," Jessica told Urlich in disgust.
"And I suppose you think I want to handle
them alone?" Urlich demanded in horror. "This is why I don’t leave Marrigan
very often: Mortals are just too weird for me."
Meanwhile in Marrigan, a gnarly old Elfin
sorcerer gave the gigantic crystal ball in the middle of his parlor a grouchy snarl and
waved his hand at it in disgust as he let his spy spell fade. "Feh! That child is the
infamous Lina Inverse?" He grumped to a window and pushed back the heavy black velvet
curtains so he could look out onto the streets of Marrigan. "I can’t believe
that brat is Lina Inverse!" He let the curtains drop and stomped back to the crystal,
made another disgusted gesture at it, then grouched his way out of the room. A moment
later, he stomped back into the room and called Zhara on the crystal. When she appeared,
Melfinius growled: "Is this some kind of a joke? Lina Inverse is a snot-nosed
brat!"
Zhara shrugged. "You noticed that, too,
huh?"
"I can’t believe that obnoxious,
immature, hot-headed, conceited—MORTAL is Lina Inverse! The sorceress who channeled
the Lord of Nightmares more than once and LIVED?! Feared by bandits, abhorred by dragons,
courted by monsters—THAT Lina Inverse is—is—" He waved his hand at the
ball and stalked away from it. "I refuse to believe it! It’s preposterous!"
He spun about and shook an angry finger at Zhara, who fought down a smile. "I refuse
to believe it! She’s nothing at all like Luna! Now there’s a sorceress I can
respect! A Knight of Seifeid! Oh the levels to which that renowned magical family has
stooped! From a Knight of Seifeid to an obnoxious little self-important shrew!"
Zhara chuckled, used to the old man’s
quirky temper. "Get over it, Mel. That’s really her. We sorcerers tend to be a
bit eccentric—"
"’ECCENTRIC’?!" He roared,
flapping the sleeves of his stereotypical wizard’s robe like a crazy bird. "Miss
Metallium! I am eccentric. That girl is a spoiled brat!"
"Eccentric" was an understatement
when applied to Melfinius Egatius, ancient Elfin sorcerer, entrepreneur and master
showman. As she watched him throw a temper tantrum with his long, unruly white hair, beard
that flowed to his knees and big, bushy eyebrows, Zhara had to bite her lip to keep from
busting up laughing. His purple robes sported glow-in-the dark magical symbols of dubious
origin and seemed to move in a breeze only they could detect (a magic spell Melfinius cast
about himself for dramatic effect). Silk slippers with long, curling toes ending in gold
dangly stars peeked out from beneath the robes. He wore a tall, pointed hat and leaned on
a long, gnarled staff he really didn’t need. All that glitz and drama was heaped on a
man that barely reached Zhara’s elbow without his hat. The effect was comical, but
Melfinius swore it pleased the customers, and Zhara was never one to interfere with
another business person, especially one as successful as Melfinius Egatius (goofy costume,
and all).
His shop, Tudrac Magical Emporium, was just as
over the top as he was, though Zhara thought Tudrac had a better excuse, considering the
weird stuff the old Elf kept in stock. At one time, he actually had a life-sized
gold-plated statue of a Gold Dragon that turned out to be a real dragon under a curse.
Zhara was the one who had found the way to free the poor creature, though unfortunately he
hadn’t been able to return to his homeland until a year later, after Phibrizio’s
barrier disappeared. Doubly unfortunate was his insistence on trying to "purify"
Marrigan. Just when Zhara had had enough and had decided to pack him off to Seyruun, the
barrier went away, and he was able to fly home. Then there was the alien Monkey God that
had gotten loose in the catacombs last century…and all those storm spells Melfinius
just had to try out on the city before actually offering them for sale. He was a crazy old
coot but he knew magic like nobody else Zhara had ever met, even Jessica. Of course,
Jessica looked down her nose at some of the cheezier things Melfinius stocked, calling
them cheap parlor tricks or worse. She was about the only thing in Marrigan that was older
than Melfinius, and the two venerables bickered constantly, yet somehow managed to remain
friends. She doubted Lina and the old man would get along nearly as well, so she figured
she better chaperone their meeting if she wanted Marrigan to survive it.
"OH-HOHOHOHOOOO! Melfiiiiiiiinius!"
Oh yeah, Ullan and Zellan had taken Naga to
Tudrac for the morning. Heh. Forgot. Zhara cringed at the sound of that terrible cackle.
Melfinius’ hair and beard stood up on end, and he seethed at Zhara from the other
side of the crystal ball. "And just what is SHE supposed to be, might I ask?! I have
never seen such ridiculous garb! Does she think she looks like a sorceress in that thing?!
Appalling, Miss Metallium! Simply appalling! I can’t believe she arrived in the
company of your sons!" He shook his fist at the crystal ball and waggled his bushy
eyebrows. "First this Naga creature and now that horrible little girl calling herself
Lina Inverse! Why did I ever leave Mipross Island?" His shoulders drooped as he shook
his head and pressed a weary hand to his brow. "What is the world coming to?
She’ll scare off all the customers!"
"Put a gag spell on her," Zhara
shrugged. "Worked for me."
"GAG A CUSTOMER?!" Melfinius gasped,
clutching his breast as if the very thought threatened to give him heart failure.
"ARE YOU MAD?!" He started to storm off in a huff, then turned around and winked
at Zhara. "But accidents will happen if one isn’t careful in a magic
shop…"
"OH-HOHOHOHO—cough!"
The Elf winked again and giggled: "You
didn’t see me do that."