Empty plain. Just grass, some rocks and the road. Zelgadis wasn’t really seeing the road, though his eyes were pointed at it. He didn’t hear the birds calling as they flew overhead, though there were an awful lot of them and they were very noisy. What he did hear was Sylph singing like she was heading for a carnival. He also noticed her dancing around, as did every other person on the road with them. The fact that she insisted upon skipping and singing, forced Zelgadis to slow his pace to a fast walk. Fine with him, since he was having a really good, hard think about Lina’s situation, anyway, and he thought better when he wasn’t breaking speed records. He also thought better when there wasn’t an annoyingly chipper person hopping, skipping and singing along beside him.
        "You sure get happy when Url’s not around," he muttered at her with a pleased smirk.
        She smacked him upside the head in mid-whirl, never missing a beat. "Not so. I’m just happy to be on the open road, headed for an actual clue to your cure. We’re finally doing something productive, uninterrupted—"
        "Unless you count your little performance…"
        "—on…a…mission!" She wiggled a finger in his face with a smug giggle. "I know what you’re thinking, Zel."
        "That you’re beginning to annoy me?"
        She frowned, then giggled again and shimmied at him. "Noooo! You’re thinking about going to Rratsnek after all, aren’t you? Well, put such counterproductive contemplations aside, Zelly Belly! You have a higher purpose, and Lina Inverse is very good at getting out of scrapes all by herself!"
        "Which is why she needs Urlich, I suppose…"
        "Urlich is her lawyer," Sylph smirked, "so of course she needs him. Don’t be so silly, Zelly!"
        He rolled his eyes. "Who’s silly? And I thought I told you not to call me Zelly."
        Sylph jumped in front him with an offended pout and her hands on her hips. Zelgadis glared and walked around her. "So what if I’m thinking about going to help Lina? She’s my friend, Sylph, and I wouldn’t leave my worst enemy in Rratsnek!"
        Sylph skipped up beside him and asked: "You mean Xellos? You wouldn’t wish Rratsnek on Xellos, even?"
        Zel’s jaw tightened. "I have a feeling he’s already there."
        Sylph’s merriment faded abruptly. "I’d think he’d be more interested in you," she suggested somberly as she jumped out in front of him again and stopped him with her hands on his shoulders. "If he is there, then it must be a trap. He wants you to go there, which means you absolutely must not go."
        Zelgadis looked into her face with ice cold eyes until she let go of his shoulders and took a couple steps back. "I have to go, even if it is a trap. Anyway," he continued, as he turned about on his heel and started back the way they’d come, "it’s not like it’ll be just me and Lina against Xellos. There’s Gourry, Amelia and Naga!"
        Sylph cleared her throat, still rooted to her spot.
        Zelgadis sighed. "And Urlich."
        "And Lita, whose power shouldn’t be dismissed," Sylph added, "even though we haven’t seen it yet, except for the art in Lara’s tomb." She finally gave up and ran after him, excusing herself as she pushed past people. "Even so: Lina’s a prisoner, and—"
        "That’s why I have to help her," Zelgadis told her firmly. "The restraints they’re using on her keep her from casting spells. Outside of Lina, we know Amelia and Naga can definitely cast attack spells. We definitely know Urlich can’t, and Lita freaks out and changes personalities whenever things get weird—which might not be such a bad thing in this case, since Lara got all the balls between them."
        Sylph glared. "I hate that metaphor. It assumes the only people who can have real power are males—and if a woman has power, then she must have male sex organs!"
        Pause. Blink-blink.
        "It’s just a metaphor, Sylph," Zelgadis sighed, "it’s not personal."
        "Why doesn’t anybody ever say, ‘Whoa, she sure has ovaries!’ or, ‘that girl’s sure got a lotta vagina!’? Why don’t people say that?"
        "Because it’s not polite to talk about those things in public?"
        "And yet, we can talk about a man’s balls in public…" Sylph growled back at him. "No! It’s because they assume women are inherently weak and powerless, so saying someone has feminine attributes implies weakness!" She stomped her foot and shook her fist at Zelgadis, who gulped and tried very hard not to laugh at her. He really couldn’t take her seriously in that filmy little frock. "Well, I say Lina Inverse has ovaries the size of melons! How do you like that, huh?! And Lara Sorez has big ovaries, too! Tons of eggs of those things! Miracle of life coming out the wazoo! How about that, huh?!"
        An exuberant cheer arose from the other women on the road.
        "You tell him, sister!"
        "Right on, girl!"
        "Don’t let him force his oppressive male culture on you, honey!"
        Sylph bowed to them all with a great, big, smug smirk on her face. Zelgadis, meanwhile, was turning bright red and wondering how he always managed to get into these ridiculous arguments with Sylph.
        "Hey, boy!" A male voice boomed up from behind him, and was quickly followed by a hard slap on the shoulder. "You’re not gonna let a beast woman push you around like that, are ya?!"
        "Oh-oh…" Zelgadis cast a quick glance at Sylph out of the corner of his eye. As expected, she was positively bristling at that beast woman comment, though there was some truth to it, since she was sporting some very beastly attributes at the moment.
        "What did you call me?!" She growled at the man with her ears plastered against her skull and her tail puffed up, and showed him all of her sharp, little teeth.
        He didn’t back off. "What’s your problem? You have a tail and pointy ears like a dog. You can’t be human with those."
        "I’m…not…a beast woman!" Sylph snarled. "I am a shapeshifter! I can be totally human, or totally fox—NOT a dog, thankyouverymuch—or something in between—which Zelgadis, here, finds very attractive, by the way! Don’t you, Zel?"
        Running was beginning to sound really, really good.
        Sylph got in his face and growled. "Zel…?"
        "Yeah, sure."
        "He’s a little girlie-man!" The guy laughed. "Henpecked! Bwahahaaaa!"
        Zelgadis decked him. "I don’t have to prove my manhood to anybody. Come on, Sylph, we’re going to Rratsnek."
        "’Yeah, sure’? That’s it?" Sylph protested as he dragged her down the road by her wrist, the jeers of men and women both ringing in his ears. The men took pot shots at his masculinity, while the women accused him of persecuting Sylph by treating her like a sack of potatoes. Sylph was inclined to agree with the women. "Let go of me! And since when don’t you like this form?!"
        "I didn’t say I didn’t like it," Zel shot back in exasperation, "I said I did!"
        "No, your tone indicated you were just agreeing with me to shut me up!"
        "That, too."
        "ARGH!" Sylph morphed into fox form and crawled into his cowl to pout. "You are such a jerk!"
        Zelgadis rolled his eyes. "This makes it easier. Hang on tight." He took off at top demon speed, leaving the road in favor of the open fields, which had fewer obstacles.
        Sylph dug her claws into his shirt until they poked through the fabric, then closed her eyes tight and tried not to have a paralyzing deja vu. Last time he’d given her a high speed ride on his back, he’d lost his footing, sending her flying into a pit in Zhara’s cavern. Were it not for the healing powers of Urlich, Lina and Amelia, she wouldn’t have survived. "Please concentrate this time," she begged in a tiny squeak of a voice that she thought was too quiet for Zelgadis to hear.
        She was wrong, and he was none too happy to be reminded of that episode in their acquaintance. At the time, his body had been trying to change into some kind of Dark Lord. But he should’ve slowed down as she’d begged him to do. This was different, he told himself. He wasn’t changing into anything that would mess with his concentration, and if she got scared and begged him to slow down, he would. Of course he would. There would be no repeats of last time. Zelgadis clenched his fists and tried not to remember Sylph all torn and broken and coughing up blood.
        "Don’t worry," he assured her, "I’m watching where I’m going this time."
        Her only response was a pathetic, frightened whine.

        Jessica tried to make herself concentrate on the tomb paintings but she couldn’t keep her imagination from going crazy on Lina’s situation. The moment Zhara had said "special prosecutor" an image of Xellos had jumped into the ancient queen’s mind. Of course it would be him, she thought. That was the only thing she could think of that would make Lina’s predicament worse—and it was just the sort of prime opportunity Xellos simply lived for. Lina Inverse the infamous bandit killer and destroyer of everything from tiny villages to major metropolitan areas (not to mention Dark Lords) was helpless in the city with the biggest reputation for hanging. She was defended by Xellos’ son Urlich. As if all that wasn’t a Mazoku field day in the making, Princess Amelia and Lita Sorez had managed to get themselves arrested for causing a disturbance and assaulting some townsfolk outside the public library (allegedly).
        The first rumors had hit Seyruun’s tabloids just as Prince Phileonel and Jessica were sitting down to a nice, peaceful supper. Tales of violence, attempted rape and debauchery filled the articles, which were adorned with very unattractive portraits of the Princess behind bars (which she wasn’t, according to Urlich’s latest report). Gourry and Naga were dragged over the coals as the corrupting influences who had pulled Amelia down into a pit of wickedness with their all-day drinking binges (and Naga’s lewd appearance). Not to mention the rumors that this person calling herself Naga was actually the lost Princess Gracia of Seyruun. If the tabloids were to be believed (har-har), Lina Inverse had ensorcelled the innocent Princesses, turning Naga into a crude, sleazy drunkard, and Amelia into a violent menace to society. Lina was drawn as a demon in chains, a sly smirk on her face, which sported some bear-sized fangs. Puppet strings were attached to her body, and those were held by none other than Shabranigdo, who was portrayed as a greasy, slavering demon covered with horns and scales. Were it not for the fact that the artist had thoughtfully provided labels for his creations, Jessica wouldn’t have recognized Lina or the Dark Lord. The implication was clear, however: Lina was a servant of Shabranigdo and therefore as terrible a danger to good, law-abiding folk as the Dark Lord, himself—and she was dragging the whole Royal Family of Seyruun into the very depths of Hell with her. If the situation wasn’t so serious, Jessica would’ve gotten a pretty good laugh out of the absurdity of it all.
        Xellos must be enjoying himself enormously, Jessica thought with a weary sigh and gave up on her research. She hadn’t come up with any new clues and couldn’t concentrate, anyway. Prince Phil had to be sedated to keep him from violating the tabloid publishers’ free speech rights. Last she’d heard, the Prince had been organizing a legal team to defend the Princess and her beleaguered friends—including Lina. Though Phil admitted she had her drawbacks, he was convinced she was no servant of Shabranigdo.
        "Lina is being defended by Urlich," Jessica had reminded Phil. "He practiced in Rratsnek before and can play their dirty games."
        "He can’t defend all of them!" Phil had boomed back. "And he can’t defend Lina alone!"
        "Your people can’t operate in Rratsnek!" She’d argued. "It’s not like Seyruun! They’ll eat your lawyers alive!"
        And they will, too, Jessica thought to herself in frustration. If you wanted to practice law in Rratsnek, you had to check your conscience and morals at the door. Justice was a colossal joke to them! Oh yeah, perfect set-up for Xellos. Like a great, big piece of cheese to that chaos-loving little rat. She wouldn’t be surprised if he brought his master along to watch him do his thing.
        "I’m not getting anywhere with this," she declared to the empty tomb in disgust. "I’m sorry, Zelgadis, but somebody has to be the voice of reason." She brushed off her gown with a heavy sigh, then disappeared to find Prince Phil and try once again to keep him from doing something incredibly stupid. No, he was already doing something stupid: He was flying off the handle, instead of keeping a cool head. At least he wasn’t declaring war on Rratsnek, she thought as she reappeared in the halls of the castle a few paces from the Prince’s office. He was bellowing curses about false accusations, which told Jessica he was reading those damn scandal sheets again. He’d never calm down if he kept that up. Jessica didn’t bother to knock, since he probably wouldn’t have heard her anyway, and just strolled into his office unannounced. "I thought you were going to burn those things," she accused at the top of her lungs.
        "BURN THEM?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! I’M GOING TO SUE THEM ALL FOR LIBEL AND SLANDER!"
        Jessica frowned. "What happened to freedom of the press?"
        "THESE ARE NOT LEGITIMATE NEWSPAPERS!" Phil screamed and pounded his fists down onto the offending tabloids, which were strewn all over his desk. Servants and lawyers scattered out of the way of his rage like fish dodging a rock thrown into their pond.
        "Define ‘legitimate’…"
        Phil huffed and puffed. He turned red. He paced behind his massive oak desk, then stopped and beat up on the papers some more. "There are limits, Lady," he rumbled at her, his eyes sparkling dangerously under his bushy, black brows, "and they have crossed the line! They are reporting blatant lies with the intent to damage Princess Amelia’s reputation!"
        "And Lina’s, Gourry’s, Naga’s, Lita’s, Urlich’s…"
        "PRECISELY!" Phil roared, blowing Jessica’s hair back with the force of his voice.
        Jessica let a disturbing quiet settle over the office before replying in a very calm voice, the sort one uses on children throwing temper tantrums in a toy store: "Fine. If you insist upon pursuing this, let me tell you what you’re in for: Such lawsuits traditionally drag on for years. During that time, your reputation, as well as that of other members of the Royal Family and the city of Seyruun will be dragged through the dung heap. You will be forced to show how you can be a defender of free speech, while suing the media for speaking freely. Believe me, Phil, there’s no truth to the old saying ‘any publicity is good publicity. Bad publicity is just bad." She put her hands on the desk and leaned in close until she was almost nose-to-nose with the Prince. "I’ve been Royalty a lot longer than you have, Phil. Trust me on this one, for Amelia’s sake, if nothing else."
        They locked angry gazes for a few moments, while the others in the room cowered as far from them as the confines of the office would allow. Suddenly, Phil let out a long, hard breath and flopped back into his giant, leather desk chair. He folded his hands before him and closed his eyes. "Please forgive my outburst," he said in a strained voice. He took in the room with a hard, level gaze. "I am understandably upset by all of this. Queen Jessica, I thank you for helping me to see reason and preventing me from doing something that could only hurt my city and my family."
        Jessica allowed herself a cautious smile as she sat down in one of the small chairs on the other side of the desk from the Prince. "Sending an attorney or two to defend the Princess might not be such a bad idea, from a public relations standpoint. You can’t ignore her situation, and everyone in Seyruun must be expecting you to send your best and brightest to defend her. I would, however, recommend you impress upon whoever you send the importance of taking Urlich’s advice about practicing law in Rratsnek. He understands how things are done there. I would advise against going yourself, tempting though you must find that idea."
        "Not go—" Phil bristled.
        Jessica held up a hand to stop him from continuing. "The charges are minor. You can monitor the situation on a daily basis from right here in Seyruun. I think you should call a press conference as soon as possible to head off these rumors before they get out of hand."
        "They are already out of hand!"
        Jessica coughed self consciously. "More out of hand, then. I’ll get more information out of Urlich and help you prepare a statement. Early damage control is key."
        Phil nodded emphatically. "Absolutely!" To the room in general, he bellowed: "Summon my Press Secretary!" He returned his attention to Jessica with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "That’s the spirit, Lady! Fight fire with fire! Lies with truth! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
        Jessica forced herself to smile at that, thinking Phil should know better than to believe truth would have the slightest effect on tabloid journalism and the public’s craving for the dirtiest celebrity gossip. "I hope you’re wearing clean underwear, Phil."
        "Eh?"
        She shook her head and chuckled. "Nevermind."

Recap the action so far...
or straight on to Chapter 28