Ah! My Zelgadis!
Zelgadis gets his fondest wish but can he survive Urd's Lipstick of Love and Skuld's Mallet of Justice?
(As always, everything is copyright/trademark to their respective owners/creators...even me!)

Part One

       Zelgadis sat alone in Prince Phileonel’s study, having finally gotten a moment to himself, with Amelia off doing Princess things, and Lina and Gourry gone in search of the best restaurant in Seyruun. Ah! Sweet silence! No shrieking voices, no inane conversations, no people! Zel had already read all of the books Phileonel had in this little study. He had also read most of the ones in the big library on the first floor of the Royal Palace. In fact, Zelgadis was beginning to wonder if one could be too well educated. He sighed, bored out of his mind but unwilling to leave because that might involve contact with other people, which was just what he was trying to avoid. One would think he’d be a little happier about turning 21, but Zel was still stuck with a stone body and still had no leads after three years of searching for a cure. Princess Amelia and the ever-perky Lina Inverse thought a birthday party would be just the thing to cheer him up. Being utterly incapable of empathy, the two well-meaning women had succeeded in hitting upon the very last thing in the world that would improve his mood. Zelgadis hated parties, especially parties thrown especially for him. All those people paying all that attention to him. The very thought was enough to make him sick.
       Another sigh. Zel folded his arms on the table then lay his head down on them and closed his eyes. This wasn’t a good exercise, since it ordinarily brought visions of the moment Rezo had turned him into a chimera. Be careful what you wish for, his mother had always told him. If only his eagerness to have strength and power hadn’t overridden his usual instinct to ask exploratory questions of his mysterious teacher. "You will be completely transformed," Rezo had said. In hindsight, Zelgadis couldn’t believe alarm bells hadn’t gone off in his mind in response to that promise. How could he have been so stupid?
       Ah. Depressed again. Situation normal.
       The study was a cozy, manly sort of place, well-suited to the Crown Prince’s tastes, with dark wood paneling and thick, dark green carpeting that dampened any sounds. The walls were lined with bookshelves stuffed to the rafters with musty books, mainly on topics helpful to the ruler of a vast city-state, but deadly dull to a sorcerer. There was a large portrait of Prince Phileonel on one wall and an equally large, gold-framed mirror on the other. So, Mr. Justice and Fairness was also Mr. Vanity. Zelgadis found that amusing when he’d first entered the study. Giving up on a nap, he rose and went to study himself in the big mirror, since he’d already worked himself into a whopping good depression, anyway.
       "Hmm…feeling brave today," he commented dryly to himself. He never looked in mirrors much anymore, unless there was a stain on his clothes or something in his hair that he couldn’t see or find by touch. Zelgadis shook his head and turned his back on the mirror and perused the book collection again, in hopes of finding something he’d overlooked earlier, something he hadn’t already read or on a subject about which he wasn’t already familiar or which wouldn’t bore him to tears. No luck. At last, he gave up and returned to the table to sulk some more.
       "Excuse me?" Chirped a cheerful female voice.
       Zelgadis’ eyes snapped to the mirror which now had half of a beautiful woman sticking out of it. She had long, light brown hair, gentle eyes and a sweet smile that rooted Zel to his chair, utterly speechless. He watched in a daze as she pulled the rest of herself and her exotic dress through the mirror and floated softly to the carpet.
       "Hello!"
       "Um..*ahem*…hello." Zelgadis’ mind seized up and he couldn’t find anything intelligent to say to this vision of loveliness. Had he fallen asleep and was only dreaming her? That would fit in with the usual way his life went, that and having beautiful girls he liked turn out to be boys.
       She walked gracefully across the study and took the chair across from Zel’s. It took him a minute to realize she was holding out a business card for him to take. Zelgadis took the little, pale blue card from her hand and with a pounding heart and shaking hands, read it:

Belldandy, Goddess First Class
Relief Goddess Office, Heaven

       "You’re a—a goddess?!"
       She nodded charmingly. "Um-hm! And I’ve been given permission to grant you a wish, Zelgadis Greywers! But only one."
       "How do you know my name?!"
       Belldandy giggled. "Silly! I’m a goddess! And I’ve been sent to this world especially to grant you your heart’s one, greatest desire!"
       Zelgadis’ first thought was that his "heart’s one, greatest desire" involved her and a bottle of good wine. Then he remembered where impulsiveness had gotten him with Rezo and decided to give this wish-thing deeper thought.
       "Any wish at all?" He asked suspiciously. "Is this some kind of joke? Oh, I see: This is Gourry and Lina’s idea, isn’t it?"
       Belldandy looked puzzled. "No. I really am a goddess and I really have been sent to grant you a wish. Do you know what you want?"
       It didn’t take much more thought on Zelgadis’ part to come up with an answer. If she really was who she said she was and could really do what she said she could, then Belldandy could prove to be the cure for his curse. Zel took several deep breaths to calm his racing heart, then, with a tremble in his voice, he told her his story up till that day. Her delicate face was all sympathy when he told her about Rezo and she clapped her hands with delight when he told her of his and his companions’ victories over the Dark Lords Shabrinigdo, Gaav and Phibrizzo. She declared him brave and strong, which made him blush, then she told him it was so cute that he was blushing, which only made him blush more.
       "So you see," he told her finally, "I just want my old body back. I want to be me again. I don’t even care if I lose all the power and strength I gained when Rezo did this to me. That means nothing to me anymore. Can you help me, Belldandy?"
       Suddenly, Belldandy threw back her head, and a beam of light shot from the diamond mark on her forehead, through the ceiling, the roof, and up into the heavens. After a moment, the light faded, and Belldandy returned her attention to a very startled Zelgadis with a delighted smile on her face.
       "I have wonderful news! Your wish has been approved! I am authorized to undo the curse placed upon you by Rezo the Red Priest and return your body to its original form!"
       Zelgadis wept for joy.

 

Part Two

       Lina and Gourry returned to the castle in a merry mood, all fired up for Zelgadis’ party that evening. Lina was happily licking a chocolate ice cream cone, while Gourry was just finishing a cheese burger and licking the grease off his fingers. Slung across his back was a large sack containing his and Lina’s new-bought party outfits. Gourry couldn’t wait to see Lina in her new dress, which promised to be form-hugging and a bit more revealing than she ordinarily wore. At least, that’s what she claimed. He hadn’t been allowed to see her in it when she tried it on, though she did tell him it was black and made of silk and that she planned to wear high heels with it and put up her hair. He’d allowed Lina to help him shop, that being one of the things he hated doing most. Luckily for him, Lina had good taste (in Gourry’s opinion) and had gone with something classic and rather subdued. Word was the Princess had big wardrobe plans, as well, no doubt hoping to wow Zelgadis into paying more favorable attention to her.
       They passed Prince Phileonel in the hallway on the way to their rooms and waved a cheerful hello, finding it a bit odd that the chatty Prince was unusually quiet that afternoon. His knowing smile didn’t put them any more at ease.
       "What’s with him?" Lina wondered aloud.
       Gourry shruged. "What do you mean? He waved."
       Lina rolled her eyes. "Didn’t you see the look on his face? It’s like he knows a secret he’s not supposed to tell us."
       "Oh. I didn’t notice."
       "Obviously!"
       Behind them and unseen, a well-tanned, white-haired woman in a slinky dress with a big slit up the leg watched them with great interest until they disappeared around a corner. She smiled slyly. "This could be fun…" she said to herself in a low, sexy voice, then with a dramatic wave of her arms, she disappeared.

 

       Zelgadis was finding himself much more in the mood for a party in the wake of the goddess Belldandy’s visit. He ran his hands through his hair and over his face again just to make sure (for the hundredth time) that he really did have human flesh and soft hair again. He picked up a comb from the dresser and dragged it over his head (again, for the hundredth time), reveling in an activity he would never again take for granted. He turned around in front of the full-length mirror in the corner of his room as if afraid he’d find a spot of stone or a stray barnacle somewhere. Nothing but pale, smooth flesh. He poked his thigh and giggled with delight at the way his finger actually made a dent now. This was way too cool. So far the only people who had seen him this way were Belldandy and Prince Philleonel, and he’d sworn them to secrecy. He wanted to make an entrance that night and surprise everybody. This was absolutely the best birthday present he’d ever received in all of his 21 years and Zelgadis intended to enjoy being himself again as much as he possibly could.
       Toward that end, he decided to take yet another bath. (this would make four so far, but who’s counting?) He filled the tub with steaming water, tossed in some spicy-scented salts and climbed in with a deep, happy sigh and closed his eyes to just enjoy the sensations.
       The bubbling between his ankles felt good until it sunk into his brain that there was no reason for the water to be bubbling, between his ankles or elsewhere. Zel’s eyes opened suspiciously. Those were definitely bubbles. He sat up straighter and was just about to bend over and explore this mystery with his hands when all at once the water exploded upward in a huge jet, spun about, and became a girl.
       "I’m heeeere!" She announced triumphantly, her long, black hair and red and white outfit not the least bit damp for having just sprung from bath water. She looked around in disappointment. "Hey, where is everybody?" Then she noticed Zelgadis and shrieked: "Ah! Pervert!" And clunked him on the head with her long-handled mallet.

 

Part Three

Zelgadis awoke to find his big surprise had been utterly spoiled by the dark-haired girl from the bathtub, who, feeling very guilty about having bopped him on the head, had run to find help. Help had come in the form of everybody Zel had hoped to surprise that evening, plus the people who already knew about his miraculous transformation. The first face that greeted his bleary awareness was Amelia’s. Her expression was so worried, it was all Zelgadis could do to keep a straight face. "Note to self:" he thought sourly, "Head can no longer take sharp blows from solid objects." He filed that piece of advice away for future reference, also reminding himself that he’d have to remember to duck from now on. Being human had its disadvantages. He groaned and turned his head, sending splinters of pain through his skull. The pain wasn’t helped by the timbre of Lina’s voice. She hovered over his other side, giving directions to everyone else in the room like the little wanna-be Princess that she was. Her instructions were seconded (loudly and with much drama) by Prince Phileonel, who was quickly shooshed by Gourry, who for once seemed to be the only person in the room with a clue. Oh, aside from Belldandy, of course, who stood at the foot of his bed with her hands on the little, dark-haired thug’s shoulders. The thug in question looked very much ashamed of herself as Belldandy nudged her from behind and ordered her to, "Go on…"
       "I’m sorry I hit you," the thug said, then to Belldandy: "there, I did it. Can I go now?"
       Zelgadis asked: "Who are you? And how did you get in my bathtub?"
       That raised a few eyebrows.
       The thug grinned and announced dramatically: "I’m the goddess Skuld, genius!"
       "If you’re such a genius, why did you call me a pervert when you’re the one who showed up in my bathtub?" Zelgadis accused. "I was there first, you know."
       Skuld blushed. "I said I was sorry!"
       Lina blushed, too. "She appeared in your bathtub? While you were taking a bath?!"
       Skuld stomped her foot in frustration. "I said I was sorry! Leave me alone!" She turned and ran from the room, evading Belldandy’s attempts to stop her.
       Belldandy looked like she might cry. "Oh, Zelgadis, I’m so sorry. She just gets like that sometimes."
       Zel rubbed his head. "It’s not your fault. Ow!"
       "Here, let me see." Amelia moved his hand and felt around on his skull for bumps. "I think you’ll live."
       Lina sat down on the edge of the bed and held up two fingers as she questioned Zelgadis: "Ok, so we have two goddesses running around now, right? One came out of a mirror and the other one appeared in the bathtub." She smirked. "So, Zel, got any other goddess you’d like to let us know about?"
       Zelgadis groaned.
       "I’ll take that as a ‘no’," Lina filled in for him.
       "Or at least a ‘we hope not’, " Amelia added.
       Belldandy thought of Urd all of a sudden, hoping fervently that her big sister hadn’t made the journey Earthward, as well. Having Skuld running around could cause trouble enough, but if Urd showed up…Belldandy made a quick visual sweep of the room, noting potential couples and her hope that Urd would stay in Heaven this time faltered. Where there was love to be found (or made), there was Urd, like a hound on a scent. The question wasn’t so much if there were any other goddesses running about the palace, as where the other goddess was running about, what she was plotting, and who did it involve. Belldandy resolved to keep her eyes open and try to head Urd off at the pass before she could make any trouble.
       Speak the devil’s name…

       In a corner of Zelgadis’ bedroom, hiding behind a curtain, a mouse-sized version of Urd watched the proceedings with interest. She, too, noted the potential couples but Urd was far more observant than just that: She also observed the players’ reactions to one another. She saw how tenderly Amelia cared for Zelgadis but also noted that he seemed to be merely tolerating her. She quickly got the idea that Lina and Gourry wanted to be a couple but that neither had the nerve to make the first move. Definite potential there! This was going to be fun! Now to decide upon the perfect potions for the jobs at hand and to concoct the perfect plans to go with.
       "Being a glamorous goddess of love is such fun!" Urd giggled to herself and disappeared to get to work.

 

Part Four

T-minus one hour till party time and counting…

       Princess Amelia was trying out different jewels with her party dress when Urd appeared on her bed.
       " Go with the diamonds, honey," Urd drawled, startling Amelia out of her skin.
       Amelia screamed. "How did you get in my room?!" Then she noticed the markings on Urd’s face and asked with a note of dread in her voice: "You’re another goddess, aren’t you? Do I get a wish or hit on the head?"
       Urd scowled; the little Princess didn’t appear to be the prime romantic material Urd had originally supposed. She quickly changed her frown to a sly smile. " Belldandy does wishes, Skuld does beatings, I do love!" Urd slunk across the room to slide her hand across the back of Amelia’s shoulders. "Like what you could have with Zelgadis—with a little help from Urd’s Lipstick of Love."
       "’Lipstick of Love’?" Amelia raised a curious eyebrow.
       "Um-hm…" Urd snapped her fingers and a small, gold tube of lipstick appeared in her palm. "Wear this to the party tonight, steal a kiss and he’ll fall madly in love with you!"
       Amelia took the tube reluctantly. If Zelgadis was to fall in love with her, she really would rather it be of his own free will, not because of a love potion. Princesses shouldn’t need to resort to love potions. She told Urd as much and got a scolding for it.
       "And how successful have you been without a love potion, Princess?"
       Amelia’s face fell. "Um…not very…"
       "Look kid," Urd threw her arm over Amelia’s shoulders, "do you want him or not?"
       "Of course I do! But—"
       "’But’ nothing!" Urd cut in sharply. She pressed Amelia’s fingers around the tube of magic lipstick. "It’s soooo simple: Just give birthday boy a little kiss while wearing the lipstick, and he’ll be yours forever!"
       Amelia opened her fingers and rolled the lipstick back and forth over her palm thoughtfully. "Just a kiss, huh?"
       Urd grinned, sensing she’d made the sale. "Of course! Everybody gets a kiss on their birthday! And he can’t very well say no to a Princess, now, can he?"
       Hmm…Amelia considered the possibilities if Urd’s love potion really worked as well as she said it would: He’d dance with her all night (and only with her, no matter who else asked him), then they’d slip away to someplace where they could be alone and—"I’ll do it!"
       "That’s my girl," Urd purred. "I’ll be around if you need back-up. See ya, Sweetie!" She disappeared in a dramatic cloud of smoke, leaving Amelia to savor her fantasies.

 

In another part of the palace, Lina’s hopes for surprising Gourry with her new dress got dashed when the man himself showed up because he couldn’t get his shirt to lay right. As if she would actually tuck it in for him! Lina rolled her eyes and played supervisor while Gourry tried out different tucks. Not once in the entire episode, did he compliment her on her dress. At first, Lina didn’t take it too hard, knowing how single-minded Gourry could be, but once they’d worked out his shirt problems and he still didn’t say anything, she started to get a little steamed.
       "Gourry!" She whined as he headed for the door.
       He turned to find her with her hands on her hips and tapping her foot impatiently. "What? Did I miss a spot?" He felt around his beltline to see if anything was out of order, infuriating Lina even more.
       She threw up her hands in surrender. "Oh, I give up!"

       "What?!"
       "Never mind!" Lina snarled. "I have to finish getting dressed now. I’ll see you at the party."
       Gourry scratched his head, not sure what could possibly be bothering her this time and left her to her primping. It was only after he reached his own room that he realized what he’d done wrong—or rather, what he’d failed to do, which was wrong: She was all dressed up in a slinky, new dress and he hadn’t said anything at all about how she looked. Gourry resolved to remember to tell Lina she looked really beautiful when he met her at the party.
       "Ah! You idiot!" Shrieked Urd from her hiding place behind the mirror in Gourry’s room. "I come up with a perfectly good plan to get you and little miss fireball together, and you screw it up!"
       Gourry hung his head. It had been Urd’s idea for him to go to Lina with a trumped up story about not being able to get his shirt to look right. He remembered then that Urd had given him specific instructions to tell Lina how gorgeous and sexy she looked, then present her with a lace handkerchief that had been soaked in one of Urd’s love potions, saying he’d gotten it as a gift for her and didn’t she think it smelled pretty? One sniff, and—viola! Love.
       "But, noooo!" Urd continued to scold. "You forgot everything I told you! How can you be such an airhead?! You had the girl, the kerchief, the plan—and you screwed it up! Grrrrr! What is wrong with you?"
       Gourry shuffled his feet. "Um…I was dazzled by her beauty?"
       "Nice try. Tell her, not me."
       Gasp! "She’ll fireball me!"
       Urd rolled her eyes in disgust. "Not if you’d remembered to give her the hanky, you idiot!" She pointed at the door with a dangerous look on her face. "Now get back down there and give her the handkerchief ! And don’t forget to get her to sniff it! Think you can remember that? She has to smell the potion or it won’t work! Got it?"
       "Got it!" Gourry set off on his mission with renewed determination, like Amelia, having nice fantasies about what would happen after the love potion took effect.
       He got to Lina’s room with the plan still in his head, but—no Lina. He poked his head into her room and looked around to make sure she was really gone, and she was. "Huh! Now what do I do?"
       Urd appeared behind him. "Plan B: Put this in her drink." The goddess quickly exchanged the hanky for a tiny, glass vial containing a glowing pink liquid. "It’s another kind of love potion, Stud. One drink, and she’ll fall in love with the first person she sees. Make sure it’s you."
       "Right."
       "And don’t screw it up this time, ‘kay?"
       Gourry blushed and promised he wouldn’t , then headed off down the corridor toward the ballroom and Zelgadis’ birthday party, which was just getting under way.

 

Part Five

       For once, Zelgadis found himself actually enjoying a party. Princess Amelia had done a great job of decorating and organizing more food and drink than even Lina and Gourry could put away. Much to his delight, he found his old appetite had returned with his body, and he was absolutely starved. He figured he’d better get his share before Gourry arrived. Lina was already at the trough, carrying two plates, each stacked high with food. She was trying to balance a cup of punch between the two plates as she made her way from the buffet to the table she’d staked out for herself. She spied Zel just as she put down the dishes.
       "Happy birthday!" She cried, but, being Lina, refrained from anything more affectionate than a brisk handshake and a rough pat on the back. "This has to be the best birthday you’ve ever had, huh?"
       Zelgadis grinned. "Have you seen Belldandy? I should really thank her again for changing me back."
       "Hmph!" Thought Lina dryly, "I’ll bet that’s why he’s looking for her!" Lina did a quick mental comparison between herself and the voluptuous goddess and suddenly didn’t feel as pretty in her little black dress as she had when trying it on at the shop.
       Zelgadis to the rescue. "Have I mentioned you look really nice tonight?"
       Lina beamed and spun around for him to get the full effect. She giggled. "Thank you very much! At least you noticed!"
       Oh-oh. "I take it Gourry was as dense as ever?" Zelgadis asked as he scanned the rapidly filling room for some sign of his heavenly benefactor. He saw Gourry enter and start looking around, no doubt for Lina, then Amelia entered on her father’s arm. The Princess was all warmth and smiles, as a hostess should be, as she and Phileonel moved through the gathering, shaking hands and thanking people for coming. Now that he saw her in action, Zelgadis realized for the first time that Amelia really did make a good Royal (when she wasn’t making speeches or falling flat on her face). He watched her as Lina bemoaned Gourry’s utter lack of clue. Amelia hadn’t noticed him yet, but Zel couldn’t decide if he thought that was good or bad. He liked her dress, though: That shade of green was extremely flattering. Diamonds sparkled from her tiara, neck, ears and fingers, catching red and gold light from the candles and torches set about the great room.
       "Zelgadis, have you even heard a word I’ve said?"
       Zel nodded absently. "Yes: Gourry’s an insensitive twit, who wouldn’t know a pretty girl if one hit him. Which you do regularly, I might add."
       Subdued, Lina just said: "Oh. Right." She followed Zel’s gaze to see what he found so fascinating and was a bit surprised to discover the object of his scrutiny was Amelia. Lina, too, had to admit the Princess was in rare, extremely Royal, form that night in her flowing dress, perfect hair-do and jewels. Not that Lina’s look was dowdy, but what girl wouldn’t feel a bit outdone by a Princess? Lina smoothed her dress self-consciously, then touched the pearl earrings Amelia had loaned her, as if to make sure they were still there. Lina wore pearls about her neck as well, heeding the Princess’ advice about pearls always looking perfect with black.
       Meanwhile, with Lina’s and Zelgadis’ attention elsewhere, Gourry snuck behind them to empty Urd’s love potion into Lina’s punch. Then, being careful to remember which hand Lina’s cup was in and which hand his cup was in, he offered Lina her drink.
       She took it with mild disdain. "Oh, hi, Gourry."
       Ouch. Gourry almost lost his nerve, then coached himself to just be a man about this, took a deep breath and: "I was so dazzled by your beauty before that I forgot to tell you how lovely you look tonight, Lina." Thumpa-thumpa-thumpa. Could a guy get a heart attack just from flattering a girl? If he could, Gourry felt like he was about to have one. Seemingly in slow motion, Lina turned and smiled and blushed at him. Then she took a few sips of punch, just as Zelgadis spotted Belldandy and called out for her to join them, thus turning Lina’s attention away from Gourry and onto…
       "Oh, Zelgadis!" Lina sighed passionately and dropped her cup, spilling the last of the love potion onto the floor.
       "Oh no!" Gourry moaned.
       Zelgadis was so wrapped up in Belldandy that he didn’t realize what was going on until Lina threw her arms around his neck and just about suffocated him with a big, sloppy kiss. "Lina! What are you doing?!" He mumbled over her lips.
       "I’m kissing you, stud-boy!" She retorted gleefully. "What do you think?!" Then she went straight back to kissing him.
       That’s when Amelia showed up. With an angry snarl, she spun Zelgadis about by the shoulder and kissed him with Urd’s lipstick of love. Then Lina grabbed him and spun him back around just as Gourry grabbed her and started shaking her in a vain attempt to snap her out of it. The commotion got Zelgadis’ dazed attention and his lovesick gaze fell right on the cutest blonde in the room: Gourry. Zelgadis grinned a dopey grin, shoved Lina aside and, with stars in his eyes, threw his arms around Gourry’s chest and squeezed.
       "I love you, man!" He declared tearfully.
       "Uh…" Gourry peeled Zelgadis off of him with a sickening feeling growing very quickly in his belly. He looked up to find Amelia staring at Zelgadis with an expression Gourry was certain mirrored his own. Two plus two added up in Gourry’s mind at the same time that it did in Amelia’s and the two Urd-victims shared devastated looks.
       Together, they wailed: "URD!"

 

PART SIX

"Oh, she is so stupid!" Skuld growled to herself upon seeing the work of Urd’s hands. "Her stupid love potions always mess up and work on the wrong people! And Urd sure won’t undo it! She probably thinks it’s funny! Well, it looks like it’s up to me to fix everything! Humph! As usual!" Of course, she could just leave this to Belldandy but Skuld was sick and tired of Urd and Belldandy always getting all the attention. It was time she made her move!
       "Here goes!" Skuld took a deep breath and snuck up behind Lina, who was all over Zelgadis, who was all over Gourry, who looked like he was about to get sick all over his new shirt. The Princess was trying to maintain her Royal dignity while at the same time alternately yanking on Lina and Zelgadis with no luck moving either of them so much as an inch.
       "Gourry, help me!" Amelia demanded. She had a pretty good grip on one of Zelgadis’ arms and was sure she could pull him loose if Gourry would just push. Then Lina punched her, sending Amelia reeling into Belldandy’s arms. Amelia shoved herself away from the goddess, pushed up her sleeves and socked Lina in the jaw. Lina swung back, but Amelia ducked, lunging with a fist at Lina’s stomach, which also missed its mark. The two woman backed into a clearer space and snarled at each other like a pair of Sumo wrestlers.
       "He’s mine, you little witch!" Lina growled.
       Amelia spat: "Keep your hands off of him!"
       "Um, ladies?" Gourry tried to interject, just as Zelgadis grabbed his shirt, yanked him downward and planted a big kiss right on Gourry’s lips. Gourry let go a sickening scream and threw Zelgadis across the room, where he splashed down in the giant punchbowl, then Gourry barfed.
       Meanwhile, back at the catfight, Lina took a high heel to the ribs and was on the floor, curled up in a tiny ball of pain. Amelia started to gloat, but just then Lina unleashed a lightning spell that just missed Amelia’s face. Phileonel waded into the fray, bellowing for everyone to just calm down and talk about this, while he physically picked up party goers and moved them out of his way. Belldandy was off on a furious search for Urd and almost tripped over Skuld.
       "Skuld, help me find Urd!" Belldandy ordered, grabbed Skuld by the hand and started to drag her away.
       Skuld stood her ground. "No! What if she shows up here while you’re looking for her out there?"
       Belldandy saw logic in that line of reasoning. "Good idea! You watch for her here, and I’ll go look for her in the palace! Boy is she in big trouble!"
       "Yeah!"
       The two goddess parted ways, Belldandy heading out of the ballroom, and Skuld making a beeline for the punchbowl and Zelgadis, who was now a lovely shade of Strawberry. And, by virtue of his rather violent dunking and the alcohol some joker had slipped into the punch, free of Urd’s spell. The memory of kissing Gourry surfaced in his mind just as Skuld arrived, and he very nearly threw up on her.
       "Oh, yuck!" Skuld spun on her heel and decided to try her luck with Lina. She stalked through the spectators, into the "ring", lined up the shot and let loose with her mallet. "Take that!"
       Lina didn’t even have time to yelp before collapsing onto the floor. Amelia looked at the little goddess through an eye swollen and rapidly turning purple. Her tiara was askew, her hair a mess and her dress torn at one shoulder, but the Princess was able to stand on her own two feet and thank Skuld profusely.
       Skuld felt smug enough to scold Royalty. "I could’ve told you not to listen to Urd’s dumb ideas! Her love potions never work right!"
       Amelia and Gourry hung their heads sheepishly. Gourry looked up to say something in his defense and spotted Urd trying to sneak out of the ballroom. "There she is!" He shouted and took off after her, followed closely by Amelia and Skuld.
       "Come back here, Urd!" Skuld shouted after her sister, but Urd only cackled and in a puff of smoke disappeared.
       The three pursuers slid to an angry halt. "Damn!" Amelia cursed. "Make a fool out of the Princess of Seyruun, will she! I don’t care if she is a goddess, she won’t get away with this!"
       Gourry made a disgusted face. "What are you so upset about? I got kissed by a guy!"
       "Oh, big deal!" Amelia shot back. "I got beat up by your girlfriend! Look what she did to my dress!"
       "Poor baby!" Gourry retorted without sympathy. "She does that to me all the time." The he added quickly: "Except for the part about the dress. And she’s not my girlfried!"
       "Then what did you need a love potion for, huh?"
       Gourry blushed.
       "Ah-ha!" Amelia accused, waggling a finger in his face. "Just as I thought!"
       Gourry smacked her hand away. "Oh yeah? Well, how come you needed a love potion? Zelgadis already likes you!"
       Blink. "He does?"
       Skuld fumed. "Will you two just cut it out?!"
       "No!" Gourry and Amelia snapped, then went back to arguing. Skuld decided she didn’t need this kind of treatment and returned to the ballroom in a huff.
       Back in the ballroom, Lina was just coming to and had a fist with Skuld’s name on it. Their eyes met across the room, and for the first time in her young life Skuld knew real fear. "Oh-oh…" Skuld disappeared.
       "Yeah!" Lina snarled. "Run away, you little, mallet-wielding coward!" A tap on her shoulder brought her about, ready to slug Amelia or Gourry or anyone who so much as claimed to be a goddess. She swung at Zelgadis, but he caught her fist.
       "Are you alright?" He asked, still looking a bit green from being sick.
       Lina looked him up and down and decided now would not have been a good time to tell him pink wasn’t his best color, then she checked herself for damage: Her dress had a rip up one side and she was missing a shoe, but beyond that, Lina figured she’d come out of the fight better off than Amelia had. "Oh no! Amelia!" Lina gasped. Now in her right mind, she felt very much ashamed of herself for beating up the Princess. "Oh, Zel, I have to find Amelia and apologize! I can’t believe this is happening!" Lina searched the hall in vain for Amelia, then spied her arguing with Gourry outside the ballroom doors. "You should say something to Gourry, too, Zel. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for all this! " Suddenly, Lina remembered her earlier behavior toward Zelgadis and turned a very deep shade of red. "Omigosh! Zel, I am so sorry! I don’t know what happened!"
       Zelgadis waved her apology aside. "I suspect we’re both victims of some kind of sorcery. Let’s get to the bottom of this, shall we?" He gestured for Lina to precede him from the ballroom, then followed her out. Behind them, Prince Phileonel was still trying to calm his guests, loudly, as usual.

 

PART SEVEN

"You thought you needed to use a love potion on me?" Lina demanded incredulously. "How dare you put a spell on me! I trusted you, Gourry!"
       Gourry sighed miserably. "I know. I’m sorry, Lina. It’s just that—" he looked up at her in all her disheveled glory and knew he didn’t look much better—"you’re never nice to me! How am I supposed to know I don’t need a love potion, if all you do is beat up on me and tell me I’m stupid?"
       Lina floped down on the couch next to him and leaned her head against his arm. "I’m not that mean all the time, am I? I say nice stuff about you!"
       "Not to me." Gourry thought about putting his arm around her, reconsidered, then decided he had nothing to lose and everything to gain and went for it. To his relief, Lina just snuggled in closer to him.
       "I don’t?"
       "Nope."
       Lina tucked her legs up onto the couch and cuddled in closer to Gourry for warmth. "You’re my best friend, you know?"
       Gourry pulled her closer. "Yeah. I know. You’re my best friend, too."
       They sat like that in silence for a while, then Gourry asked: "I wonder how Zel and Amelia are doing?"

 

Down the hall, in Zelgadis’ guest room, he and Amelia were having a very similar conversation, only without all the cuddling or confessions of best friendship. The two of them decided they were friends at least, and Zelgadis admitted he was open to exploring the possibility of a deeper relationship with Amelia.
       "But no more love potions!" He added firmly.
       Amelia nodded her agreement. "Never again! Oh, Zel, I’m so sorry!"
       He shrugged and ducked his head shyly. "Just forget about it." He rose to leave, but Amelia stopped him.
       "I can’t even give you just one, little kiss since it’s your birthday?" She asked coyly.
       Zelgadis examined her lips very closely to make sure all traces of lipstick were gone before answering. "Well, alright, since it’s my birthday."
       Being no fool, Amelia made the most of that golden opportunity and was deliriously pleased when he kissed her back. When he finally pulled away, she wished him happy birthday again, said good night and left with a big, happy smile on her blushing face.

Zelgadis waited until the door closed behind her, then: "YES!"

The End

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