Ah! My Zelgadis!
Zelgadis gets his fondest wish but can he
survive Urd's Lipstick of Love and Skuld's Mallet of Justice?
(As always, everything is
copyright/trademark to their respective owners/creators...even me!)
Part One
Zelgadis
sat alone in Prince Phileonels study, having finally gotten a moment to
himself, with Amelia off doing Princess things, and Lina and Gourry gone in
search of the best restaurant in Seyruun. Ah! Sweet silence! No shrieking voices,
no inane conversations, no people! Zel had already read all of the books
Phileonel had in this little study. He had also read most of the ones in the
big library on the first floor of the Royal Palace. In fact, Zelgadis was beginning
to wonder if one could be too well educated. He sighed, bored out of
his mind but unwilling to leave because that might involve contact with other
people, which was just what he was trying to avoid. One would think hed
be a little happier about turning 21, but Zel was still stuck with a stone body
and still had no leads after three years of searching for a cure. Princess Amelia
and the ever-perky Lina Inverse thought a birthday party would be just the thing
to cheer him up. Being utterly incapable of empathy, the two well-meaning women
had succeeded in hitting upon the very last thing in the world that would improve
his mood. Zelgadis hated parties, especially parties thrown especially for him.
All those people paying all that attention to him. The very thought was enough
to make him sick.
Another sigh. Zel folded his arms on the
table then lay his head down on them and closed his eyes. This wasnt a
good exercise, since it ordinarily brought visions of the moment Rezo had turned
him into a chimera. Be careful what you wish for, his mother had always told
him. If only his eagerness to have strength and power hadnt overridden
his usual instinct to ask exploratory questions of his mysterious teacher. "You
will be completely transformed," Rezo had said. In hindsight, Zelgadis
couldnt believe alarm bells hadnt gone off in his mind in response
to that promise. How could he have been so stupid?
Ah. Depressed again. Situation normal.
The study was a cozy, manly sort of place,
well-suited to the Crown Princes tastes, with dark wood paneling and thick,
dark green carpeting that dampened any sounds. The walls were lined with bookshelves
stuffed to the rafters with musty books, mainly on topics helpful to the ruler
of a vast city-state, but deadly dull to a sorcerer. There was a large portrait
of Prince Phileonel on one wall and an equally large, gold-framed mirror on
the other. So, Mr. Justice and Fairness was also Mr. Vanity. Zelgadis found
that amusing when hed first entered the study. Giving up on a nap, he
rose and went to study himself in the big mirror, since hed already worked
himself into a whopping good depression, anyway.
"Hmm
feeling brave today,"
he commented dryly to himself. He never looked in mirrors much anymore, unless
there was a stain on his clothes or something in his hair that he couldnt
see or find by touch. Zelgadis shook his head and turned his back on the mirror
and perused the book collection again, in hopes of finding something hed
overlooked earlier, something he hadnt already read or on a subject about
which he wasnt already familiar or which wouldnt bore him to tears.
No luck. At last, he gave up and returned to the table to sulk some more.
"Excuse me?" Chirped a cheerful
female voice.
Zelgadis eyes snapped to the mirror
which now had half of a beautiful woman sticking out of it. She had long, light
brown hair, gentle eyes and a sweet smile that rooted Zel to his chair, utterly
speechless. He watched in a daze as she pulled the rest of herself and her exotic
dress through the mirror and floated softly to the carpet.
"Hello!"
"Um..*ahem*
hello." Zelgadis
mind seized up and he couldnt find anything intelligent to say to this
vision of loveliness. Had he fallen asleep and was only dreaming her? That would
fit in with the usual way his life went, that and having beautiful girls he
liked turn out to be boys.
She walked gracefully across the study
and took the chair across from Zels. It took him a minute to realize she
was holding out a business card for him to take. Zelgadis took the little, pale
blue card from her hand and with a pounding heart and shaking hands, read it:
Belldandy, Goddess First Class
Relief Goddess Office, Heaven
"Youre
aa goddess?!"
She nodded charmingly. "Um-hm! And
Ive been given permission to grant you a wish, Zelgadis Greywers! But
only one."
"How do you know my name?!"
Belldandy giggled. "Silly! Im
a goddess! And Ive been sent to this world especially to grant you your
hearts one, greatest desire!"
Zelgadis first thought was that his
"hearts one, greatest desire" involved her and a bottle of good
wine. Then he remembered where impulsiveness had gotten him with Rezo and decided
to give this wish-thing deeper thought.
"Any wish at all?" He asked suspiciously.
"Is this some kind of joke? Oh, I see: This is Gourry and Linas idea,
isnt it?"
Belldandy looked puzzled. "No. I really
am a goddess and I really have been sent to grant you a wish. Do you know what
you want?"
It didnt take much more thought on
Zelgadis part to come up with an answer. If she really was who she said
she was and could really do what she said she could, then Belldandy could prove
to be the cure for his curse. Zel took several deep breaths to calm his racing
heart, then, with a tremble in his voice, he told her his story up till that
day. Her delicate face was all sympathy when he told her about Rezo and she
clapped her hands with delight when he told her of his and his companions
victories over the Dark Lords Shabrinigdo, Gaav and Phibrizzo. She declared
him brave and strong, which made him blush, then she told him it was so cute
that he was blushing, which only made him blush more.
"So you see," he told her finally,
"I just want my old body back. I want to be me again. I dont even
care if I lose all the power and strength I gained when Rezo did this to me.
That means nothing to me anymore. Can you help me, Belldandy?"
Suddenly, Belldandy threw back her head,
and a beam of light shot from the diamond mark on her forehead, through the
ceiling, the roof, and up into the heavens. After a moment, the light faded,
and Belldandy returned her attention to a very startled Zelgadis with a delighted
smile on her face.
"I have wonderful news! Your wish
has been approved! I am authorized to undo the curse placed upon you by Rezo
the Red Priest and return your body to its original form!"
Zelgadis wept for joy.
Part Two
Lina and Gourry returned to the castle
in a merry mood, all fired up for Zelgadis party that evening. Lina was
happily licking a chocolate ice cream cone, while Gourry was just finishing
a cheese burger and licking the grease off his fingers. Slung across his back
was a large sack containing his and Linas new-bought party outfits. Gourry
couldnt wait to see Lina in her new dress, which promised to be form-hugging
and a bit more revealing than she ordinarily wore. At least, thats what
she claimed. He hadnt been allowed to see her in it when she tried it
on, though she did tell him it was black and made of silk and that she planned
to wear high heels with it and put up her hair. Hed allowed Lina to help
him shop, that being one of the things he hated doing most. Luckily for him,
Lina had good taste (in Gourrys opinion) and had gone with something classic
and rather subdued. Word was the Princess had big wardrobe plans, as well, no
doubt hoping to wow Zelgadis into paying more favorable attention to her.
They passed Prince Phileonel in the hallway
on the way to their rooms and waved a cheerful hello, finding it a bit odd that
the chatty Prince was unusually quiet that afternoon. His knowing smile didnt
put them any more at ease.
"Whats with him?" Lina
wondered aloud.
Gourry shruged. "What do you mean?
He waved."
Lina rolled her eyes. "Didnt
you see the look on his face? Its like he knows a secret hes not
supposed to tell us."
"Oh. I didnt notice."
"Obviously!"
Behind them and unseen, a well-tanned,
white-haired woman in a slinky dress with a big slit up the leg watched them
with great interest until they disappeared around a corner. She smiled slyly.
"This could be fun
" she said to herself in a low, sexy voice,
then with a dramatic wave of her arms, she disappeared.
Zelgadis was finding himself much more in the mood for a party in the wake of the goddess Belldandys visit. He ran his hands through his hair and over his face again just to make sure (for the hundredth time) that he really did have human flesh and soft hair again. He picked up a comb from the dresser and dragged it over his head (again, for the hundredth time), reveling in an activity he would never again take for granted. He turned around in front of the full-length mirror in the corner of his room as if afraid hed find a spot of stone or a stray barnacle somewhere. Nothing but pale, smooth flesh. He poked his thigh and giggled with delight at the way his finger actually made a dent now. This was way too cool. So far the only people who had seen him this way were Belldandy and Prince Philleonel, and hed sworn them to secrecy. He wanted to make an entrance that night and surprise everybody. This was absolutely the best birthday present hed ever received in all of his 21 years and Zelgadis intended to enjoy being himself again as much as he possibly could.
Part Three
Zelgadis awoke to find his big surprise had been utterly spoiled by the dark-haired
girl from the bathtub, who, feeling very guilty about having bopped him on the
head, had run to find help. Help had come in the form of everybody Zel had hoped
to surprise that evening, plus the people who already knew about his miraculous
transformation. The first face that greeted his bleary awareness was Amelias.
Her expression was so worried, it was all Zelgadis could do to keep a straight
face. "Note to self:" he thought sourly, "Head can no longer
take sharp blows from solid objects." He filed that piece of advice away
for future reference, also reminding himself that hed have to remember
to duck from now on. Being human had its disadvantages. He groaned and turned
his head, sending splinters of pain through his skull. The pain wasnt
helped by the timbre of Linas voice. She hovered over his other side,
giving directions to everyone else in the room like the little wanna-be Princess
that she was. Her instructions were seconded (loudly and with much drama) by
Prince Phileonel, who was quickly shooshed by Gourry, who for once seemed to
be the only person in the room with a clue. Oh, aside from Belldandy, of course,
who stood at the foot of his bed with her hands on the little, dark-haired thugs
shoulders. The thug in question looked very much ashamed of herself as Belldandy
nudged her from behind and ordered her to, "Go on
"
"Im sorry I hit you," the
thug said, then to Belldandy: "there, I did it. Can I go now?"
Zelgadis asked: "Who are you? And
how did you get in my bathtub?"
That raised a few eyebrows.
The thug grinned and announced dramatically:
"Im the goddess Skuld, genius!"
"If youre such a genius, why
did you call me a pervert when youre the one who showed up in my
bathtub?" Zelgadis accused. "I was there first, you know."
Skuld blushed. "I said I was sorry!"
Lina blushed, too. "She appeared in
your bathtub? While you were taking a bath?!"
Skuld stomped her foot in frustration.
"I said I was sorry! Leave me alone!" She turned and ran from the
room, evading Belldandys attempts to stop her.
Belldandy looked like she might cry. "Oh,
Zelgadis, Im so sorry. She just gets like that sometimes."
Zel rubbed his head. "Its not
your fault. Ow!"
"Here, let me see." Amelia moved
his hand and felt around on his skull for bumps. "I think youll live."
Lina sat down on the edge of the bed and
held up two fingers as she questioned Zelgadis: "Ok, so we have two goddesses
running around now, right? One came out of a mirror and the other one appeared
in the bathtub." She smirked. "So, Zel, got any other goddess youd
like to let us know about?"
Zelgadis groaned.
"Ill take that as a no,"
Lina filled in for him.
"Or at least a we hope not,
" Amelia added.
Belldandy thought of Urd all of a sudden,
hoping fervently that her big sister hadnt made the journey Earthward,
as well. Having Skuld running around could cause trouble enough, but if Urd
showed up
Belldandy made a quick visual sweep of the room, noting potential
couples and her hope that Urd would stay in Heaven this time faltered. Where
there was love to be found (or made), there was Urd, like a hound on a scent.
The question wasnt so much if there were any other goddesses running
about the palace, as where the other goddess was running about, what
she was plotting, and who did it involve. Belldandy resolved to keep her eyes
open and try to head Urd off at the pass before she could make any trouble.
Speak the devils name
Part Four
T-minus one hour till party time and counting
Princess Amelia was trying out different jewels with her party dress when Urd appeared on her bed.
In another part of the palace, Linas hopes for surprising Gourry with
her new dress got dashed when the man himself showed up because he couldnt
get his shirt to lay right. As if she would actually tuck it in for him! Lina
rolled her eyes and played supervisor while Gourry tried out different tucks.
Not once in the entire episode, did he compliment her on her dress. At first,
Lina didnt take it too hard, knowing how single-minded Gourry could be,
but once theyd worked out his shirt problems and he still didnt
say anything, she started to get a little steamed.
"Gourry!" She whined as he headed
for the door.
He turned to find her with her hands on
her hips and tapping her foot impatiently. "What? Did I miss a spot?"
He felt around his beltline to see if anything was out of order, infuriating
Lina even more.
She threw up her hands in surrender. "Oh,
I give up!"
Part Five
For once, Zelgadis found himself actually enjoying a party. Princess Amelia had done a great job of decorating and organizing more food and drink than even Lina and Gourry could put away. Much to his delight, he found his old appetite had returned with his body, and he was absolutely starved. He figured hed better get his share before Gourry arrived. Lina was already at the trough, carrying two plates, each stacked high with food. She was trying to balance a cup of punch between the two plates as she made her way from the buffet to the table shed staked out for herself. She spied Zel just as she put down the dishes.
PART SIX
"Oh, she is so stupid!" Skuld growled
to herself upon seeing the work of Urds hands. "Her stupid love potions
always mess up and work on the wrong people! And Urd sure wont undo it!
She probably thinks its funny! Well, it looks like its up to me to
fix everything! Humph! As usual!" Of course, she could just leave this to
Belldandy but Skuld was sick and tired of Urd and Belldandy always getting all
the attention. It was time she made her move! PART SEVEN "You thought you needed to use a love potion on me?" Lina demanded
incredulously. "How dare you put a spell on me! I trusted you, Gourry!" Down the hall, in Zelgadis guest room, he and Amelia were having a very
similar conversation, only without all the cuddling or confessions of best friendship.
The two of them decided they were friends at least, and Zelgadis admitted he
was open to exploring the possibility of a deeper relationship with Amelia.
Zelgadis waited until the door closed behind her, then: "YES!"
The End Scrawl
/ Slayers Fics / Home
"Here goes!" Skuld took a deep
breath and snuck up behind Lina, who was all over Zelgadis, who was all over Gourry,
who looked like he was about to get sick all over his new shirt. The Princess
was trying to maintain her Royal dignity while at the same time alternately yanking
on Lina and Zelgadis with no luck moving either of them so much as an inch.
"Gourry, help me!" Amelia demanded.
She had a pretty good grip on one of Zelgadis arms and was sure she could
pull him loose if Gourry would just push. Then Lina punched her, sending Amelia
reeling into Belldandys arms. Amelia shoved herself away from the goddess,
pushed up her sleeves and socked Lina in the jaw. Lina swung back, but Amelia
ducked, lunging with a fist at Linas stomach, which also missed its mark.
The two woman backed into a clearer space and snarled at each other like a pair
of Sumo wrestlers.
"Hes mine, you little witch!"
Lina growled.
Amelia spat: "Keep your hands off of
him!"
"Um, ladies?" Gourry tried to interject,
just as Zelgadis grabbed his shirt, yanked him downward and planted a big kiss
right on Gourrys lips. Gourry let go a sickening scream and threw Zelgadis
across the room, where he splashed down in the giant punchbowl, then Gourry barfed.
Meanwhile, back at the catfight, Lina took
a high heel to the ribs and was on the floor, curled up in a tiny ball of pain.
Amelia started to gloat, but just then Lina unleashed a lightning spell that just
missed Amelias face. Phileonel waded into the fray, bellowing for everyone
to just calm down and talk about this, while he physically picked up party goers
and moved them out of his way. Belldandy was off on a furious search for Urd and
almost tripped over Skuld.
"Skuld, help me find Urd!" Belldandy
ordered, grabbed Skuld by the hand and started to drag her away.
Skuld stood her ground. "No! What if
she shows up here while youre looking for her out there?"
Belldandy saw logic in that line of reasoning.
"Good idea! You watch for her here, and Ill go look for her in the
palace! Boy is she in big trouble!"
"Yeah!"
The two goddess parted ways, Belldandy heading
out of the ballroom, and Skuld making a beeline for the punchbowl and Zelgadis,
who was now a lovely shade of Strawberry. And, by virtue of his rather violent
dunking and the alcohol some joker had slipped into the punch, free of Urds
spell. The memory of kissing Gourry surfaced in his mind just as Skuld arrived,
and he very nearly threw up on her.
"Oh, yuck!" Skuld spun on her heel
and decided to try her luck with Lina. She stalked through the spectators, into
the "ring", lined up the shot and let loose with her mallet. "Take
that!"
Lina didnt even have time to yelp before
collapsing onto the floor. Amelia looked at the little goddess through an eye
swollen and rapidly turning purple. Her tiara was askew, her hair a mess and her
dress torn at one shoulder, but the Princess was able to stand on her own two
feet and thank Skuld profusely.
Skuld felt smug enough to scold Royalty.
"I couldve told you not to listen to Urds dumb ideas! Her love
potions never work right!"
Amelia and Gourry hung their heads sheepishly.
Gourry looked up to say something in his defense and spotted Urd trying to sneak
out of the ballroom. "There she is!" He shouted and took off after her,
followed closely by Amelia and Skuld.
"Come back here, Urd!" Skuld shouted
after her sister, but Urd only cackled and in a puff of smoke disappeared.
The three pursuers slid to an angry halt.
"Damn!" Amelia cursed. "Make a fool out of the Princess of Seyruun,
will she! I dont care if she is a goddess, she wont get away with
this!"
Gourry made a disgusted face. "What
are you so upset about? I got kissed by a guy!"
"Oh, big deal!" Amelia shot back.
"I got beat up by your girlfriend! Look what she did to my dress!"
"Poor baby!" Gourry retorted without
sympathy. "She does that to me all the time." The he added quickly:
"Except for the part about the dress. And shes not my girlfried!"
"Then what did you need a love potion
for, huh?"
Gourry blushed.
"Ah-ha!" Amelia accused, waggling
a finger in his face. "Just as I thought!"
Gourry smacked her hand away. "Oh yeah?
Well, how come you needed a love potion? Zelgadis already likes you!"
Blink. "He does?"
Skuld fumed. "Will you two just cut
it out?!"
"No!" Gourry and Amelia snapped,
then went back to arguing. Skuld decided she didnt need this kind of treatment
and returned to the ballroom in a huff.
Back in the ballroom, Lina was just coming
to and had a fist with Skulds name on it. Their eyes met across the room,
and for the first time in her young life Skuld knew real fear. "Oh-oh
"
Skuld disappeared.
"Yeah!" Lina snarled. "Run
away, you little, mallet-wielding coward!" A tap on her shoulder brought
her about, ready to slug Amelia or Gourry or anyone who so much as claimed to
be a goddess. She swung at Zelgadis, but he caught her fist.
"Are you alright?" He asked, still
looking a bit green from being sick.
Lina looked him up and down and decided now
would not have been a good time to tell him pink wasnt his best color, then
she checked herself for damage: Her dress had a rip up one side and she was missing
a shoe, but beyond that, Lina figured shed come out of the fight better
off than Amelia had. "Oh no! Amelia!" Lina gasped. Now in her right
mind, she felt very much ashamed of herself for beating up the Princess. "Oh,
Zel, I have to find Amelia and apologize! I cant believe this is happening!"
Lina searched the hall in vain for Amelia, then spied her arguing with Gourry
outside the ballroom doors. "You should say something to Gourry, too, Zel.
Im sure theres a logical explanation for all this! " Suddenly,
Lina remembered her earlier behavior toward Zelgadis and turned a very deep shade
of red. "Omigosh! Zel, I am so sorry! I dont know what happened!"
Zelgadis waved her apology aside. "I
suspect were both victims of some kind of sorcery. Lets get to the
bottom of this, shall we?" He gestured for Lina to precede him from the ballroom,
then followed her out. Behind them, Prince Phileonel was still trying to calm
his guests, loudly, as usual.
Gourry sighed miserably. "I know.
Im sorry, Lina. Its just that" he looked up at her in
all her disheveled glory and knew he didnt look much better"youre
never nice to me! How am I supposed to know I dont need a love potion,
if all you do is beat up on me and tell me Im stupid?"
Lina floped down on the couch next to him
and leaned her head against his arm. "Im not that mean all the time,
am I? I say nice stuff about you!"
"Not to me." Gourry thought about
putting his arm around her, reconsidered, then decided he had nothing to lose
and everything to gain and went for it. To his relief, Lina just snuggled in
closer to him.
"I dont?"
"Nope."
Lina tucked her legs up onto the couch
and cuddled in closer to Gourry for warmth. "Youre my best friend,
you know?"
Gourry pulled her closer. "Yeah. I
know. Youre my best friend, too."
They sat like that in silence for a while,
then Gourry asked: "I wonder how Zel and Amelia are doing?"
"But no more love potions!" He
added firmly.
Amelia nodded her agreement. "Never
again! Oh, Zel, Im so sorry!"
He shrugged and ducked his head shyly.
"Just forget about it." He rose to leave, but Amelia stopped him.
"I cant even give you just one,
little kiss since its your birthday?" She asked coyly.
Zelgadis examined her lips very closely
to make sure all traces of lipstick were gone before answering. "Well,
alright, since its my birthday."
Being no fool, Amelia made the most of
that golden opportunity and was deliriously pleased when he kissed her back.
When he finally pulled away, she wished him happy birthday again, said good
night and left with a big, happy smile on her blushing face.