Once upon a time the two most brilliant swordsmen in the land met to decide once and for all who was the best. Actually, they met by accident, though one of the swordsmen, whose name was Zangulus, had been chasing after the other one, whose name was Gourry, for several weeks. The accident happened when the two of them were in Rezo’s old laboratory and got zapped through an internal portal into a vast underground arena, which Rezo had used to test magic, but suited the two swordsmen just fine as a place for their Great Final Showdown.

Each swordsman carried a powerful magic sword. Zangulus’ sword was called "The Demonic Howling Sword" and had been made by Kopii Rezo especially for Zangulus to use to track down and kill the mighty sorceress (and Gourry’s travelling companion) Lina Inverse. The Howling Sword did exactly what it said it did: It howled, sending out a terrible shock wave of sound that could shatter whole buildings. Gourry carried the legendary Sword of Light, which had slain the great beast Zanifar with one stroke. Two legendary swords, two mighty swordsmen, one big, empty arena. Time to get down to business.

So, after dispensing with the requisite boasting and death threats, the two men lunged at each other, sword meeting sword.

"You’re not bad!" Zangulus gasped as his sword met his opponent’s with a mighty clang.

"So you’ve said!" Gourry grunted back with smug grin.

Now, all of this might sound very familiar to you Slayers fans and you probably think you know all of the rest of the story but you don’t. There’s a block of time in which the two men were in the arena, before Lina and the others arrive, that you don’t get to see. Here’s what happened:

"I’ve admired you for a long time, Gourry Gabriev!" CLANG! CLANG! "You’re reputation precedes you!"

"Yeah," CLANG! "I get around!"

They slashed and parried for a while longer, then suddenly Zangulus stuck his sword in the ground, leaned on the pommel and regarded Gourry with an intense expression. "I admire your form," Zangulus said.

Gourry watched Zangulus’ piercing eyes slowing make their way from his face, down his chest, past his waist, then…linger…"Huh? Oh, yeah. I practice. Yours is pretty good, too. Where’d you study?"

Zangulus licked his lips and hoisted his sword, letting it rest on his shoulder. Gourry watched him. "Self-taught," Zangulus told him, eyes still lingering on Gourry’s crotch.

The big blonde was starting to look really uncomfortable and he rested his hands on his sword hilt, making sure it blocked Zangulus’ view. "Oh…not bad. Uh…what are you doing?"

Zangulus was scant inches from Gourry now and his eyes bore into those of the Swordsman of Light with an almost hypnotic intensity. The hand not holding his sword reached out to wind a lock of Gourry’s hair around his finger. "Nice hair," he said casually, never taking his eyes from Gourry’s.

"Uh…" Gourry gulped and took a step backward, bringing his sword up between them. "Yeah. Thanks. I like yours, too." Gourry took another step back, but Zangulus matched him step-for-step. "What are you doing? I thought you wanted to fight!"

"I just wanted to get close to you…" Zangulus purred, casually pushing Gourry’s sword out of the way. Suddenly he grabbed a fistful of Gourry’s long, blonde hair and used it to yank their faces together for a long kiss.

Gourry panicked and looked like he might barf. He tried to escape, but Zangulus’ grip was too strong. He tried to bring up his sword again, but Zangulus got the blade beneath his boot and forced it out of Gourry’s hand. Dropping his own sword, he wrapped his arm around Gourry’s waist, forcing them more tightly together. Gourry for his part, was turning green and looked like he wanted to hack Zangulus into a zillion pieces and stomp on every one of them.

Finally, Zangulus broke the kiss and shoved Gourry away from him. In a flash, he snatched up both of their blades and held them for a moment before laughing and throwing the Sword of Light to its owner. Gourry caught it, a very suspicious look on his face. Taking up a defensive posture, Zangulus snarled: "Alright! Let’s finish this!" Then with a mighty roar, he charged, and the fight resumed until Lina and company appeared.

And that’s what really happened. I know because I’m the ghost who haunts that arena and I saw it all.